


You Sent Me Flying

by eloha



Series: The life of cherry blossoms [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Attempt at Humor, Coach Ushijima, Dirty Talk, Dom!Ushi makes an appearance, Emotional Constipation, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I live for sassy semi, I will update tags as I go, I'm honestly just winging this though, I’m starting to make tags for no reason, Karasuno are smol children, Literally came out of nowhere, M/M, Rating Change, Rough Sex, Semi has a flirting problem, Semi is a closet book nerd, Semi is also a flirty kinky shit, Sexual Tension, Sexual thoughts, Shirabu is a snobby little waiter, Smut, This fic is ruining my life, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Ushijima is surrounded by friends, Ushijima swears, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, for Ushijima, he deserves the world, mention of injury, smut later on bc I live for sinning, the rating is about to change btw, this list of tags keep growing, winkwink, you read that right
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-02-08 21:54:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 62,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12873798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eloha/pseuds/eloha
Summary: Semi works in a bookstore and love happens.





	1. Fireworks

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty sure this will end terribly, but I like this ship so I figured I'll try to do them justice. 
> 
> (I just came back to read these beginning chapters since I’ve gotten so far with this fic, and oh man there are so many errors I have really come a long way. I’ll edit this as much as possible so that it’s enjoyable bc I cringed while reading most of it.)
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it (:

I've always paid attention to my surroundings, observing who and what people do. It's fascinating, it has always enraptured me knowing what gets people to tick. It's as easy as breathing, and I've always commended myself for that. Other than in this moment, one could easily call this a fluke. A simple observer like me working in this book store and somehow my life got overturned by a stranger. The Bell overhead rang out for all to hear and I gave a greeting in return and continued shelving my work. It's unbearably slow for a Saturday afternoon, so when Oikawa comes around whispering a frantic, "Semi-chan come, come here!" Like nobody else is here, I feel my irritation flame up. "Am I the only person doing work around here?" I try to keep the sourness in my tone down to a minimum but it's shooed away by a hand wafting through the air, "oh semi semi lighten up everything is practically done around here, but come look." I roll my eyes at his flippant tone and decide to humor him for once and I stand up from crouched knees and meet him on the corner of the aisle.

"What is it Oikawa?"

"Sh shh, don't speak too loud. Look at this-"

And I turn brown eyes on a flustered Tendou seemingly falling over sentences at a stranger. It's not uncommon for him to talk a customers ear off, oh no, this is Tendou after all, but a flustered one? That is most definitely something new. We see the stranger shake his head and scurry off around the corner.

Oikawa starts snickering and hurries up to him, "Did you scare him off Sacchan?"

"Holy crap I think I fried a few brain cells talkin' to him, did ya see the muscles on that guy and oh man those eyes!"

"If you keep talking any louder he just might possibly hear you," I say casually but you can see the sheer determination on me and Oikawa's face to see this person that was able to fluster Tendou. Suddenly a voice yells out, "If all your going to do is stand around then you can get off my clock!"

"Oh Iwa-chan is that any way to speak to your loyal and happy employees-" I don't wait around to hear the rest of the scuffle that he's sure to cause with Iwaizumi. I make my way back to my work spot and finish with my books before I start walking to the back for another round of organizing.

Here's where the power of my superb observation skills cut in. I round different shelves, cutting lefts and rights. I could easily just have walked straight to get to the back room but I always loved the smell of these old books and glancing at people finding new gems, and that's when I get too focused on my surroundings and run smack into a wall until I'm splayed out on my back with an empty box resting on my chest.

I frown up at ceiling lights as if it's there fault I get too focused on my surroundings and then that's when I hear, "Oh excuse me I wasn't paying attention, here let me help you up." That deep voice, ohgod it massages each and every single nerve in my body. It could be telling me to clean toilets and I would give my praise to him without even asking why. Tanned hands make it's way into my vision, a perfectly manicured hand. Fingers long and thick leading to an outstretched forearm with the perfect amount of muscles and veins slightly protruding. I feel my breathing pick up and it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I very nearly got a concussion, but it has everything to do with this man. I am by no means small but he pulls me up like a featherweight and I'm staring up into dark olive eyes and a build that is easily over 6 feet. I notice that this is the stranger Tendou was floundering over, and I don't see my encounter going any better.

"Did you hurt anything?" Other than my pride, no I did not, and I shake my head to clarify that no I did not hurt anything. He gives me an indignant look as if he doesn't believe me.

"N-no I'm fine, perfectly fine. Thank you." It comes out just as raspy and horrible that I would imagine it to come out standing next to this Greek god. Fuck, I feel like I should be on my knees praising this man for helping a mere mortal like me off of the ground, or maybe I should have just laid there and let him have his- "By any chance do you happen to work here?" My cheeks burn and I look down at my shirt as if to point out the name tag and to also clear my head. A chuckle follows and I feel my current two brain cells frying at the sound. How did Tendou walk away from this alive? "Can you look up a book for me and see if it is available here? I have been looking but I haven't found it on the shelves." He phrases it as a question, but with his bedroom voice and too sharp eyes my body takes it as a command and I seize up and shake my head and turn on wobbly heels to the computer desk. On the way over I clear my head as much as I can so that I can at least get a full sentence out to him without seeming incompetent. I pass by a wide eyed Oikawa on the way and hear the sound of his feet shuffling soon after we pass.

"Now what is it that you need me to look up for you?"

He looks contemplative, as if he forgot the name of his book, but the look he is giving me tells me that he's not thinking about the book at all. I feel my brain short circuit and it feels like fireworks are igniting underneath my skin. My body lights up and I feel myself turning embarrassingly red and I shift my eyes around a firm chest to see Oikawa standing off to the side doing a terrible job at listening in. "Walt Whitman, I'm looking for Walt Whitman. Leaves of Grass."

I give a smile in recognition, "Ah. _I celebrate myself, and sing myself, and what I assume you shall assume. For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you._ " My eyes stay closed remembering the first time I read that book. That line spoke to me the same way it does now. I snap my eyes open realizing where I am and see inquisitive eyes peering down on me almost thoughtfully. Why am I such a nerd, I want the floor to swallow me whole.

"I-I'm sure we do, let me check." 

I quickly type in my search box and wait for the results to pop up and here a deep, "Eita." Almost perusing as if he's trying to see if he likes the taste of it on his tongue. My eyes widen, and I've never been more honored to have my first name spoken by a stranger before. I hear a comical hitching sound and I just know Oikawa is about to run off and get Tendou.

"That is indeed my name, but you can call me Semi since we've just met." Not only did that sound terribly flirtatious of me, but I had the nerve to throw in an eye wink. The fact that my lost confidence had to flare up in this moment makes me want to set myself on fire, I quickly avert my eyes back to my task.

"Ahh yes," I say as if I didn't just make a complete ass out of myself, "It seems as if it's in our historical section not in our poetry where you were looking. I'll go take you to it."

"If you'd like to point me in the right direction that would be no problem, I'm sure I held you up from a lot already."

My hand swipes through the air and I realize I've been around Oikawa too much, "Oh nonsense. It's back the way I'm going anyway. Besides what kind of employee am I if I can't help out a fellow costumer." I give a small smile and make my way around the desk, no I'm definitely not swaying my hips. "It's just back this way if you'd like to follow me there." And no, I definitely did not add a double meaning in there. We pass by a stunned Tendou while Oikawa looks as if he wants to give me his praises, and I give a subtle wink that almost has them reeling back from laughter.

I can feel his eyes on me with each isle we pass, a soft caress across my back. I can feel those olive greens dripping with lust and approval even if it is apart of my imagination. I let the thought fuel me swaying my hips to the sound of our feet. I've never been one to be overconfident, but I can practically feel his desire chasing after me. If he were to push me into a corner and have his way I wouldn't be inclined to deny him. I round the corner and stop and step to the side for him, "Here we are...."

"Ushijima."

"Ushijima," I close my eyes and savor his name and give him a smirk. I open my half lidded eyes and look into his dilated ones and say, "You just let me know if you need anything else then." And with that I turn and walk away. I've never been more proud to be friends with Oikawa in that moment, I would never have had the courage to do such a thing if I never saw him succeed so many times doing it to Iwaizumi. I take myself to the back room and am practically thrust inside by curious hands.

"SEMI-CHAN I heard that! Since when did you become such a whore!"

"Oikawa shut up, I got it from you." I say while massaging my ear from his piercing scream, why did he have to be so dramatic. "Oh semisemi I'm so proud of ya," Tendou says as he wipes a fake tear from his eye, "I have no idea how ya did it I basically got a semi just from his existence."

"That's only because you don't get laid often-AHCK! Heyyyy you didn't have to hit meee!"

"So did you get his name?" He says wiggling his eyebrows purposely ignoring a whining Oikawa. "Oh yeah, it's Ushijima." It sounds as if every one in the room stops and sighs after that. "Oh how dreamy, such a strong name for a strong man. Please tell me you got his number!" I raise my eyebrows, no I didn't it didn't even cross my mind to get his number. The only thing that crossed it was laying myself out on the floor and letting him take me. I almost laugh at loud at myself, how pathetic.

"SEMISEMI YOU DIDN'T GET HIS NUMBER!"  
"HAVE I NOT TAUGHT YOU ANYTHING?!"

Hysterical pitches are echoed through the room simultaneously, "Shhhhhshhhhh you guys shut up! I'm sure the whole fucking store heard you." I turn on my heels to walk out from the theatrics behind me. Oikawa lays his head in Tendou's shoulder, fake cries echo throughout the room. As I close the door I hear, "Our poor Semi-chan is going to end up a lonely flirty crude..." I roll my eyes and continue walking to the front, forgotten books in the back I didn't grab, and make my way to the register. A few minutes later they join me in the front. Oikawa venturing off to the side to bother Iwaizumi I'm sure, and Tendou staring at me from the other side in mock anger.

I see his eyes grow wide in mischief and he scrambles out of his register spot to go behind the shelves 'kawa just left to. I give a questioning look and before I can leave my station Ushijima veers around the corner and I feel my heart stop. Sweet baby Jesus, it should be illegal to be that gorgeous. He plops his books down on the counter looking skeptical at all that he's grabbed.

"Well you certainly brought more than you asked for." I joke, and he gives a little laugh and rubs his hand on his neck. The motion catches my eye and I glance to see the muscle in this upper arm peak out of his sleeve. Why couldn't Tendou do this? I hate my friends sometimes. I finish scanning, without anymore glances I might add, and start bagging his books up. "That's going to be 3800 yen." He hands me his money, and I give him his change back and hand him his bag. 

"You have a nice day Ushijima," I say and give him my most dazzling smile, which isn't a lot considering I hate my smile, but he returns his thanks and makes his way out of the store. The bell chimes overhead signaling his departure, and I hear a tutting sound from behind me before i slam my head on the counter. "Oh Semisemi-chan let's go out tonight to celebrate your failure." I heave a sigh, and for once I don't deny Tendou's offer. I give an okay and make it through the rest of the day thinking of those olive greens.


	2. Ushijima's Mood For Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushijima might possibly have his first crush and he's a great role model.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have nothing but time on my hands so I'm ready for your constructive criticism and posting this new chapter early. I literally had N O idea how to write Ushijima so my great skills at winging things came into play. Please let me know if I did a terrible job bc this is only the beginning. 
> 
> This takes place as soon as he leaves the bookstore. And he has great friends, don't ask me why these are his best friends he deserves a life of happiness filled with friends that give him cheer. 
> 
> Once again I hop you slightly enjoy this(:

I looked to the sky and took deep breaths when I left from the book store, and yet that still wasn't enough to calm my racing heart. I have had people flirt with me and some people who have even claimed to like me even though they only saw what was on my exterior, but nothing compared to those eyes. So soft and yet sharp all at once, I felt pinpricks light underneath my skin with every swish of his hips. I find myself smiling as I make my way to meet with friends. I push the door open and am greeted with the smell of coffee and croissants. A loud "Hey hey hey!" Catches my attention along with the few other people that have gathered in the cafe, and I casually make my way to the table.

"Good afternoon, and here is the book you asked for Akaashi."

"Oh thank you, I didn't expect you to get it so soon." A small smile creeps on his face when he sees it, and I'm reminded of the bookkeeper when he quoted the line from it. He had a calm smile on his face which quickly turned into sheer horror like nobody was supposed to figure out his secret. It was endearing enough, and I find myself smiling again. 

Wide owl eyes appear into my vision and I'm assaulted by a series of questions, "Ushijima-kun why are you smiling? You never smile! Did you meet someone, hmm? Oh man, we need to tell Kuroo!" He proceeds to say while he pulls his phone out followed by delicate fingers covering over his, "Calm down Bokuto you're making a scene," he sounds exasperated, "and anyways you didn't even let him speak, that is if he did want to tell us." The look he gives me after makes me believe he wants me to tell them. I see now why Bokuto so willingly follows anything Akaashi asks of him or why he preens with praise from him, those gunmetal eyes and angelic features we're enough to almost stop me in my tracks when we met all those years ago. I give a nod of confirmation and he goes to call Kuroo while I excuse myself to the counter to place my order.

In my time alone I think on how I've never had a relationship before. In high school I was too focused on volleyball, never wanting to burden someone else with time I mostly spent huddled in a gym. It was the same way in University up until my injury. After that I never paid anyone any mind, nobody ever captured my attention or made me curious enough, as bad as that sounds. That is to not say I have no experience in the field, I just usually choose not to include my feelings. I hear a small, "Ushijima," call out and I go to get my coffee from her and give the small blonde a smile before I make my way back to the table where Bokuto is trying to get Akaashi to coddle him, to which he shoos him away. 

"Kuroo should be here any minute now." Followed by a ringing in the air a few minutes later and a series of, "Bro's" filter around. It's almost suffocating, but their friendship inspires me. It's what made me continue to hang out with them for so long, they gave great advice and they always had a great vibe to them. 

"Hey! UshiWaka! Akaashi!" Simultaneous hellos are echoed and he's scooting in next to me, splaying his arm behind me and leaning in close. "Sooooo Waka~chan," he singsongs, "I heard from a little owl that you just might possibly have a crush." I turn olive eyes to mischievous ones, "I didn't say it was a crush, we're no longer in high school Kuroo."

"Oh loverboy it's okay you don't have to fool me, you have the look of love in your eyes," then he leans in impossibly close and whispers, "was it the blonde? He had the prettiest eyes." Mine widen slightly almost in curiosity and more with the fact that I've been figured out, leave it to Kuroo to put me on edge.

"Hey Kuroo! Don't keep Waka to yourself, whatdya tell him anyways? And where's Kenma?" He ignores some of his usual pestering, "Oh he's just at the book store down the way, something caught his attention." There's a double meaning in that sentence and I see Akasshi's eyes flick to mine, "Oh yeah?" It's phrased as a question, but I know they're waiting for my confirmation. "His name is Semi," I say with a sigh, disregarding his first name but I don't forget the look he gave me after I said it, and I feel my cheeks heat up in afterthought ignoring the fake gasp beside me, "He's an employee at the book store I just left. All I did was accidentally knock him over and ask for information on your book, I would hardly call that a stroke at love." 

"Wow Ushijima I never knew you were quite the romantic." Akaashi says, but there's a glint in all their eyes like they're happy I'm finally showing interest in someone, the atmosphere shouldn't feel as serious as it does. It's just a simple crush, I might possibly never see this guy again, "Well Ushiwaka-chan you got his number, yes?" The question rings in my ears and I realized I took too long with answering when I hear a gasp fill the air, "You didn't get his number! Oh Ushi! The first person you show interest in and you do nothing?" Fake cries fill the air and Kuroo coos and strokes Bokutos hair from across the table. I'm still trying to figure out how I've survived these two when I see a familiar head of hair stroll by the window until their opening the door and walking to the table. 

"Hello Kenma." 

"Hello." I slide down to make room for him just for Kuroo to pull him into his lap instead, his cheeks turn impossibly red and he ducks his head and whispers something to him. Hyena laughter echoes around until he burrows his head in the dip in his shoulder and Kenma pushes himself off his lap. I find myself irrevocably jealous at the couple's around me. How they so easily can grasp onto the one they love or look at them with such an emotion. I've never been one to care about such a mundane thing, but here I am wishing I had Ash blonde hair to stroke in the comfort of a shared bed while he whispers love sonnets out loud to our ears. 

"Well, I'm going to go on home and finish the charts for the kids at the gym." I say while standing up, solemn goodbyes are spoken afterwards and my bags of books are carried in tow. Before I'm too far out of the door I hear Akaashi call after me, "Ushijima! I'm sorry if we made you uncomfortable in there. We do want the best for you and we'll always be here if you need someone to talk to, I hope you know that." I let a small smile escape at his sincerity. "Thank you, I'll be sure to keep that in mind." We say our goodbyes again, and I turn to go on my way. I spend the rest of the night sidetracked by swaying hips and teasing brown sugar eyes.

\-------

I wake the next morning before my alarm, getting ready before heading out to see how my kids are faring. After my injury in University, Bokuto recommended this gym to me to help get me back on my feet. I wouldn't have said I became depressed, but without the support and pestering of my friends I'm sure I would have hit a downward spiral. They are held dear to me even if I never voice it to them. Walking through the doors of the gymnasium, the sounds of shoes squeaking and calls being made fill my ears. It's nostalgic and familiar, and I find myself happier ever since I was offered a coaching job after volunteering so often. 

Especially when the kids notice me, they are a happy bunch. Cries of, "Coach Ushijima" echo in the gymnasium, pitter patter also and eager looking eyes peer up at me in wonder. "Coach Ushishima! I practiced my spikes wanna see, hmm d'ya wanna see!?" The tiny orange ball of hair shouts. "No no he wants to see my sets! I'm better than you!" A tiny tongue spits out from Kageyama to Hinata.

"Now now, why don't we all go warm up first and then afterwards you all can show me what you've learned this week." They run to make their makeshift circle while I go get my other keyboards and check the schedule for timings before I go back out to hear Hinata and Kageyama pestering each other again. Daichi is off to the side trying to console them to no avail while Tanaka and Nishinoya are snickering off to the side. They can be troublesome at times but their love for the game and sheer determination is admirable. All of them are completely different but have pieces that place them all together making them a great team.

I blow my whistle to catch their attention while I still can, "Alright! Let's all line up. Kageyama and Sugawara, you two can be the setters." They get to their line of choice and make quick work of starting their drills while I look around the gym. It's unbelievably busy today, usually it's only my classes with a few strays here and there. The gym is big enough to easily hold a tournament, and you can see a game going on the other side. A swish of brown hair flies to the ball in the air, arms suspended in a peak of precision before it lands to the other side untouched not even a second later. The take off was beautiful, I've never seen a serve so perfectly executed before. When the ball is passed back to him he spins it in his hands with a look of concentration before he sends it flying in the air to which it is received flawlessly this time by the other side.

"Coach!! Kageyama sucks he didn't even toss the ball to me right!" The shriek is heard throughout the gymnasium and every head turns to the fluff of orange. "Hinata we don't say people suck, and I'm sure Kageyama didn't mean anything by it. Let's try it again, okay?" Dread fills his face, like the sheer thought of having to hit another toss by this kid will haunt him for the rest of his days. I chuckle to myself and glance to the other side again, just in time to see wide twinkling eyes the color of brown sugar staring right at me. Many thoughts flick through my mind, but before I can get my feet moving to voice them the yelling ensues again and my world blacks out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to imagine that he didn't see Oikawa in the book store and that he also never saw him play volleyball before.  
> Karasuno are smol children in this because they are my babies.  
> Also it's because I'm as uncreative as you think I am.


	3. Constant Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushijima and Semi are flustered marshmallows, and Oikawa saves the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I am so late with updating this?????? My life was going in a downward spiral and I was just hanging on for the ride hahahah (that's not funny but lets laugh anyways)  
> Yeah, I'm not going to lie but I highkey rushed this ch bc I'm super excited for the next one, so I'm truly sorry if this is awful. Please point out my errors  
> I do hope you enjoy it somewhat though T^T
> 
> P.S. a flustered Ushijima is my aesthetic, I shall incorporate this more somehow  
> P.P.S. pleas don't ask how smol Hinata knocks Ushi out with a spike, have you ever gotten hit by a volleyball? I rest my case

A loud squawk caught our attention and the set up died down as we all turned towards the noise to see a small ball of orange hopping around Ushijima. He looked playful and at peace and I felt my heart flutter at his smile. How can one man be so beautiful? He looked like the coach everyone wished they had, with a fitted white shirt on with his loose-fitted track pants. He didn't even wear the whistle around his neck, just has it casually wrapped around his wrist like that shouldn't be illegal. If I wasn't about to have a stroke already I would have damn near had one if I saw him out on the street like that. It was as if he sensed my presence, or stalker tendencies, because he turned his olive eyes to mine and a quick look of surprised flashed across his face before it settled into something else and he let the smallest smile slip past his lips. 

He blew his whistle and said something to the kids and they went back into their setup, but no more than 10 seconds later, when his eyes were trained on mine, the orange haired kid spiked the set perfectly and it went soaring straight towards Ushijima before anyone could warn him. You could hear the kids gasps and they all filed around him as we made our way over. The worry in their eyes was clear and I could feel their guilt tugging at my heartstrings. 

"We should get him to the clinic," Iwaizumi says. Everybody gives a look of doubt or contemplation as if we don't know how we're going to carry this muscle man there, but between the six of us we each grab a hold of him. It almost looks comical, and you can hear the kids snickering behind us, their disappointment forgotten, while the other coach comes over scolding them as we waddle away. Iwaizumi gives out the directions until we're walking inside the clinical room and maneuvering him on to the small bed. 

"Oh my, what happened here?" The nurse says. She's pretty, which is the last thing I should be thinking of really, but she has this cute little mole next to her mouth. Her short black hair frames her face perfectly, and her calm demeanor almost gives her an angelic look. 

"Well he was talking to the kids out there, and then he got sidetracked I guess and the ball went _kabamm!_ ," aggressive hand gesture included, "across his head." I barely refrain from rolling my eyes at Terushimas depiction of the whole ordeal, while Oikawa and Hanamaki start cackling like children across the room which results in Iwaizumi smacking them both on the head.

"Heyyy! Iwa-chan don't be so mean, we do know what got him sidetracked after all~" He sing-songs. I ignore him, or try to, my body gets a tingly feeling like every eye in the room is on me. I can see the sly smirk painted on his face in my mind and I choose to stare at Ushijima instead while the nurse is behind the curtain checking here and there on him to make sure everything is okay.

"Will he be alright?" I ask her.

"Yes, luckily it was only one of the kids that hit him and not one of your guys' spikes. He'll just rest up here for a bit, but he won't be able to coach for the rest of the day. I'll have to give one of his emergency contacts a call, if you could all excuse me." She says politely.

Taking one last glance at Ushijima we file out of the room and make our way back to the gym where we see an ecstatic Tendou talking animatedly with some of the kids while the others are off playing to the side. His hands are flailing about in the air and you can see them hanging onto his every word. Oikawa huffs while Matsukawa chuckles beside him, "We're gone no more than 10 minutes when he comes out of nowhere and swoops in to talk these kids ear off."

He whips his head our way as if sensing our arrival and waves like we all haven't seen him in eons, "Hey sup guys! I was just here talkin' to these little cuties. Aren't they all adorable?"

"I'm the cutest!" The one who hit Ushijima screeches.

"This one here's Hinata, I like him the most." He whispers conspiratorially while giving him a pat on the head, like the other kids aren't glaring right next to him.

Everybody rolls their eyes at his childishness, "You're not supposed to pick favorites, and you can't say who your favorite is around them either Tendou." I huff indignantly at him like I'm scolding one of the kids, and he laughs as they venture off back to the others.

"Yeah yeah anyways-"

"Hey isn't that Kuroo?" Terushima interrupts, and everybody turns to the door to see that it's the bedhead from the book store yesterday. I was talking with the person he came in with while he took a call that seemed to catch more than his attention. He looked at me with a mischievous smirk before telling pudding hair goodbye and strolling out of the door just as quickly as he came.

"Hey Tetsu-chan!" Oikawa screeches. Every head in the gym turns to stare and he has the nerve to look sheepish. Iwaizumi doesn't even bother with his usual scolding, instead chooses to walk over to greet him the way you would normally greet somebody while Oikawa and Terushima stroll after him.

"Hey do you know how they all know each other?" I ask out-loud to no one in particular.

"I know they had a few classes together at the University. Also he was on the team with us," Hanamaki tells me. I give a nod in acknowledgement. Maybe if I wasn't always holed up in the library and actually spent time in the gym when they asked I would have known, but even still I'm sure I would have seen him across campus.

The others go to join them, and I turn to Tendou. "Have you picked up the new issue yet?"  
His ears perk up and the twinkle in his eyes reminds me why we've been best friends since we were kids. His joy for the simplest things is always endearing and I start smiling along with him, "Yeah! I got it after I left work yesterday! You wanna look at it with me?!" He looks like a kid in a candy store. I don't usually ask about his manga adventures, but I feel as though I have to keep my mind occupied. It most definitely doesn't have anything to do with how happy he looks that I brought the subject up.

"Yeah sure I guess I'll give it a read with you." We venture towards the doors saying bye to everyone and I feel hazel eyes follow me on my way out.

 

\-----

 

It was a few days later, on a Wednesday specifically. It's my favorite day of the week, and yes that sounds as weird as it feels, but the skies are always brighter the birds always louder. The people are always livelier on Wednesdays, except it's always exceptionally slow in the bookstore on these days. I was lounging at the front desk flipping through a new T.S. Eliot book that came in this morning along with a few other gems, and I make a mental note to thank Iwaizumi later on. This was always one of my favorite poets, though it's been months since I last read one of his poems. I let the pages fall open and mentally smile at the one it lands on.

The words flutter across the page while bells chime and feet pass. Tendou's contagious laughter rings in the air and I feel like everything is at peace. I rock back into my chair and my feet sway to the rhythm of the poem

_The broadbacked figure drest in blue and green_  
Enchanted the maytime with an antique flute.  
Blown hair is sweet, brown hair over the mouth blown,  
Lilac and brown. Distrac- 

"Hello." The sound of his deep rumble scares the crap out of me and the book flies out of my hands and I almost lose my balance in the chair. Why on Earth do the heavens insist on letting me make a fool of myself every time this man comes around? I don't even have to look up to know it's him, that voice is the same one that's been occupying my dreams ever since last week. I ignore the heat coming from my ears, and that sexy chuckle _(dearlordjesuswhyareyoudoingthistome)_ , and get up to dust myself off and pick the book back up.

"Hello Ushijima, I take it you're feeling better?" I say finally looking him in his eyes, and I almost wish I hadn't. He's not laughing but his eyes are full of childish mischief, and I want to drown myself in them. He hides his smirk easily though and for that I thank him.

"Yes, I wanted to say thank you. Shimizu told me you and the others helped me out after that ordeal. I'm sorry to have troubled you."

I wave him off, "Oh it was no big deal, we couldn't let your children take you after all." I say it with a laughing voice and his eyes gaze off to the side while his hand fidgets at his side, and I hate myself for being a smartass, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to tease, you can tell me to shut up at anytime." 

His eyebrows scrunch together and he looks slightly confused like the thought of uttering those words would never cross his mind. It's endearing and fucking cute and I just want to shrivel up in a hole and thank the heavens that I got to experience this man's beauty before the world steals him away from me again. "I-uh- I was wondering," his hand reaches around to scratch the back of his head and those beautiful eyes can't look into mine anymore. I tilt my head slightly to the side because of the change in his demeanor, "Would you possibly be busy Saturday? I mean if you are that's fine. I was just wondering because there's this place that I'd think you would like to see..."

He trails off and my brain stops working for a second. I didn't think I heard him correctly at first, but he's looking at me expectantly and I hear someone clearing their throat off to the side of us. I work my mouth open and closed until i feel a hand wrap around my shoulder, "He would love to go on a date with you Saturday." I whip my head to Oikawa and turn back to Ushijima to see his cheeks turning the lightest shade of pink because he most definitely did not say it was a date. "Here's his number Ushi-chan," he says as he removes his arm from around my shoulder to write on a piece of paper and slide it across the counter to him.

"Th-thank you, and here is mine also." I take this time to notice how he slightly bends down further than what most people would have to. His cerulean shirt contrast perfectly with his skin and makes the veins in his arm look more prominent as he writes his number down. I've never been so jealous of a pen before.

"Mmm, thanks Ushi-chan," he says politely as he takes the paper from him and slips it in my pocket and strolls off as if he didn't just save my life.

I give him a sheepish smile and say, "Well I guess I'll be seeing you on Saturday then." He has the nerve to light up after that, as if saying my brain has a few cells left to fry from that godawful beautiful smile. What did I get myself into?

"Alright, see you then Semi." He waves and throws me one last smile before he turns and saunters off. This guy. Those eyes, those hips, that ass. I throw myself on the ground when I finally hear the bell to the door chime and I cry out.

"Oikaaaawwaaaaaa!" I know he didn't move from an earshot distance, and sure enough here he comes from around the bookcase with his face is beaming like his child just won first prize in a contest.

"Oh Semisemi-chan, we're going to have to work on your speech before you go on your first date. What are you even going to wear?" He scolds with a hint of sarcasm.

"Yeah, 'cause we all know what terrible fashion taste you have." Tendou replies coming from out of nowhere with his nose scrunched up.

"Wow you guys are so much help. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without you, but really thank you 'kawa I seriously wouldn't have made it through without you." I say reminiscing about that outfit practically painted on him. He looked perfectly put together, even his hair didn't have a single strand out of place. "Seriously guys, how am I going to get through this when I can't even utter one word to him!?" 

I sigh and lay back on the ground looking up at the ceiling. Maybe if it swallows me whole I won't have to wait until Saturday for that to happen. I've had my fair-share of hookups, but none come close to how flustered this man makes me just by being near. It's scary and invigorating and I hate it so much, but I'm already so screwed.

"You might need to go on and sign your will Eita," Tendou says seriously, "that guy is like sex on legs. He's exactly the definition."

"Hmph, I beg to differ. My Iwa-chan puts that brute to shame," Oikawa states matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, okay, anyways," Tendou says skipping over him and Oikawa lets out the harshest gasp in response, "We'll have to raid your closet Semisemi, you have basically two days until your life is destroyed by this dangerous rogue. So get up and live your last hours to the fullest."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try not to be too extra with these end notes, but okay.   
> Let me start off with T.S. Eliot, you guys pls read everything by him he is truly amazing. The poem I quoted was apart of Ash Wednesday. He is truly one of my fav poets (you guessed it, Semi shares my obsession with Poetry)  
> ALSO in the next ch I will get into everyone's relationships etc (bc honestly I'm lowkey winging this whole thing idk how this is going to turn out)
> 
> I swear this will get better along the way


	4. A Boat Beneath A Sunny Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Between our two lives there is also the life of the cherry blossoms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so excited for this chapter you guys. It was literally getting out of control and I realized I had a problem hahaha, so I decided to break it down into 2 chapters.   
> That's really all I have to say, I know, you guys love my rambling I'm sorry I have nothing else to say.
> 
> But I really hope y'all enjoy this, let me know about any errors or anything else  
>  ～(^з^)-♡

"Semisemi~! I hope you've been getting ready and you haven't just been sitting on the bed reading that text all day!" The screech throughout my quaint little apartment makes me jump from my spot on the bed, that I have indeed been nesting on all day, and I quietly try to tiptoe my way to the bathroom just as their busting the door open. Two pairs of bored looking eyes land on mine like they've already expected this, and they both heave dramatic sighs. "Oh Semi-chan at least put effort into your look. This is your first date in ages and you'll be late just sitting on the bed drooling over a message." Oikawa scolds, and I feel slightly embarassed because he's right, but I also won't admit that. I keep my stride to the bathroom instead where I go to close the door, and it's brought back open by long delicate fingers.

"As if we're gonna let you do this on your own. You're probably just going in there to hideout anyways," Tendou huffs indignantly, and I should've known better than to think he wouldn't have noticed the smell of my body wash still lingering around. Damnit. He pulls me out of the bathroom and leads me to the bed where I see Oikawa has made himself at home in my closet.

"He said to just wear something casual, and I already have _that_ picked out." I say pointing to the outfit hanging up by the mirror, which I knew he saw because he had to pass it to get to the closet.

"Hmph, yes Semi. We all know what your version of casual is, and if it was really up to you you'd walk out in a moomoo all day," Oikawa says from his place in the closet. Tendou doubles over in laughter at his remark and I barely restrain myself from closing him in the closet and locking him in there. 

Instead I throw myself back on the bed, I know very mature of me, and let out a loud sigh. "I don't even know why I should try to put a lot of effort in. He probably just wants to woo his way into my pants." Oikawa stops his exploring in the closet to give me a dirty look, but Tendou on the other hand says, "And that's a bad thing, becauseeeee?" Oikawa's scandilized face afterwards almost sends me over the top. I've never seen someone look so offended, like he isn't the one who tells me I need to get laid all of the time.

"Huh, now that I think about it that isn't such a bad idea," I say starting to sit up and I smirk while looking at Oikawa. 

"Tch, like hell you are going to do that Semi! I taught you better than that, and-"

"Uh huh...maybe Semisemi-chan should be the one saying that." Tendou says slyly from his spot on the dresser. Oikawa sqwuaks at him and I no longer try to hold in my laughter remembering those months a few years ago.

"Wh- wai- hmph - it meant nothing," he says with his hand over his heart as if he's wounded, "and besides my dear Iwa-chan was my sole focus."

"Yeah okay sure, but he said-"

"Anyways!" He huffs focusing on the clothes again, pulling down items here and there before he strolls over to thrust them at me, "Here try these on and we'll be in the living room waiting." He turns to make his way out of the room, and I look Tendou's way to see him smiling and following Oikawa's retreating figure. I close the door behind them and hear Tendou's obnoxious apologizing. He's known for riling people up, but when it comes to owning up to it he knows how to put his pride aside even if it's just small banter like it was. Oikawa knows he means well, but we all know he's just overdramatic and likes to be coddled. I make my way to the bed where the outfit is waiting for me, and lay it out making sure there are no wrinkles before I start to put it on.

I walk over to the mirror after and admire the, surprisingly, nice outfit. It surprises me more that I forgot I had clothes like this, and it makes me want to start putting in effort with what I wear now. He chose a black turtle neck that fits me effortlessly along with a long burgundy cardigan I got a few months back that I actually forgot I even had, and dark grey skinny jeans. I put on my burgundy boots with it, because I'm sure this is what Oikawa was going to get for me anyways, and I lace them up and take one last look in the mirror. My cheeks are slightly flushed, and with how anxious I am I actually feel really good about myself. Maybe it's because I look put together and not like a baby ostritch such as the last times Ushijima has seen me. 

I barely make it out of the room before the catcalling ensues. Loud whistles fill the room followed by foots thumping on the ground.

"Damn Semi, Ushijima won't be able to keep his eyes off of you." Tendou says.

"You look fucking hot." Comes from Oikawa.

I blush furiously over their praise, and I silently pray Ushijima won't compliment me so I won't die under his gaze. (Side note: I like how I made that rhyme unintentionally hahah) 

"He should be here any minute now shouldn't he?" Oikawa asks, and I look down at the time to see an hour has gone by. It's 5:15 now.

"He said he'd be here around 5:30 so I have a few more minutes to spare." I no more than get that out of my mouth before I hear the buzz to my apartment letting me know that he's here, and that I indeed am not prepared for this. "Oh man oh man why does he have to be early," I scuttle anxiously around the living room while Tendou skips to buzz him up, saving me from my frying nerves and I'm actually thankful that they decided not to leave me here to wander around by myself.

"Okay Semi deep breaths now," Oikawa walks up to grab my face, "you're a grown man. You look fucking killer and you're going to woo this demi-god to his knees when you see him. Stop acting like a teenager." I take his advice and gulp in air. "Your Semi damn Eita, known to charm the pants off of anyone once upon a time." His advice is cringe worthy but it's surprisingly calming coming from him, and I'm once again glad I have friends who care about my happiness. I get myself together just as I hear Tendou letting him inside, and Oikawa moves back to his spot on the couch turning the TV on.

"Our date has arrived~" Tendou singsongs as he comes around the corner, followed by an impeccable looking Ushijima. He has on a long sleeved olive green v-neck that match his eyes perfectly and molds to his skin even better than his black pants are doing. 

"Hello Semi. And how are you all doing today?" He asks ever so politely. I find myself staring at the way his Adams apple moves when he talks and how his collarbone looks as if it's begging me to put marks along it. 

I realize that I've been ogling him and haven't said anything after it becomes too quiet. "Hello Ushijima. You look fine- I mean I've been fine. I've been waiting for you." I have no idea why I said that. He is early and I'm flustered and an idiot. I clear my throat and glare at my amazing friends who are snickering at me on the couch, I see they were only here to help me out before he got here. "I hope you've been having a great day, we can go on and start heading out now if you want." I say and make my way to the kitchen counter to grab my wallet and keys.

"It's going better now, and yes that's fine actually." He says it casually as if I don't feel like setting myself on fire from his smooth comment and genuine smile. "It was nice seeing you two again." He acknowledges the two on the couch with a slight bow.

"Oh so polite Ushi-chan, you see he did a bow and everything Sacchan. I feel like a proud parent! Our Semi-chan has such a gentleman." He flushes from Oikawa's comment while I cringe from embarrassement, and Tendou has his signature smirk on his face. I just know he's going to feed into Oikawa's shenanigans and I hurridely make my way to Ushijima before we have to witness anymore. 

We're halfway to the door when I hear Tendou yell out, "You kids be safe now, remember everything I taught you Semisemi~!" I swing the door open and let Ushijima out first so he won't see my overheated face while I'm locking the door, that doesn't mean I don't hear the amused snort coming his way when he passes me.

"I'm sorry I've learned to ignore them. They have no filter, but they mean well." I say nonchalantly.

"No worries, we all have people like that around us. It makes life easier to get through with friends like them around." He says with a fond expression, and I wonder if he's talking about the bedhead I seem to see everywhere.

"Hmm, that's true. So what do we have on our agenda today?" We make our way out onto the street where the sun is beating down, and the breeze is slightly chilly but not too cold. It's a beautiful day to be out, and I'm glad I agreed on this, otherwise I would have just been holed up reading the same book over again. 

"I have something planned. We can stop to get a bite to eat or we can wait until after, it's up to you." 

"Eh I'm not really hungry right now," because the butterflies in my stomach are having a field day, "we can go on I don't mind. I suppose you won't tell me where we're going?"

He gestures to our left and we make our way down the not so crowded sidewalk before he thoughtfully moves me to the side of him away from the street and gives me a cheeky smile, "How are you going to convince me to tell you?" I blush furiously and glance away. If I was a stronger man that wouldn't have affected me, but I'm weak to his charm. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that that's all my dreams have been filled with, no not at all. A deep chuckle escapes him, "Ah I'm sorry I couldn't help it. You're cute when flustered." 

I splutter and hide my face behind my hands. How on Earth am I supposed to survive this when he says such things like that! He laughs at my actions and wraps his arm around my shoulder to pull me closer, like that's supposed to make things better. I, however, lean closely into him and take in his scent. He smells ike cinnamon and sandalwood, in otherwords he smells like pure sin and everything about him should be illegal. 

I didn't realize how engrossed I was when I hear him say, "We're at the station now." And he sadly removes his arm from around my shoulder so we can pull our cards out and make our way to the platform to get on the subway.

"So, Hanzomon station? Chiyoda? I hear there are lots of museums there." His curious eyes turn to mine and I smile at him instead of answering. The sun peaks through the windows and it looks as if it's making him shine. His eyes look like pools of melted chocolate and I find myself enraptured with how his eyelashes frame his face. He truly is beautiful and I don't realize how absorbed I was trying to capture his face when I see him turn pink and he looks away quickly.

"So you're a coach at the gym?" He asks a few minutes later obviously trying to clear his head.

"Yeah. I used to volunteer a lot, and I was just offered a coaching job a few months ago."

"It must be trying working with so many youngs kids. I can only imagine how hard it must be sometimes to keep their attention." He looks thoughtful for a minute before he adds, "And you coach them all by yourself?"

"Yes. And it's not nearly as bad as it was when I first started volunteering. They were much younger, but I think with me being around them for so long made it a lot easier than it would've been if I didn't know them."

"Ah, I see." He's cut off by the speaker announcing our arrival and we make our way out of the subway and station. I check my watch and realize that we're doing great on time.

"We're going this way," I say and we walk forward waiting for the light to change before we head right. I wonder how he would react if I were to hold his hand? The worst case scenario would be that he moves his hand away. He did let me wrap my arm around him, but that's different isn't it? Instead my pride wins over and I choose not to. "So, what's your favorite genre?"

A contemplative look crosses his face as we pass by workers and families, kids are scutiling about. The wind blows around us, it's a great day for what I have planned and I wonder what I did to deserve such good luck. "Poetry," he says a few minutes later, "I like books on Astrology also, the universe has always captured my attention although I can't say a lot about it. Orion is the only constellation I know." He laughs out into the air after he says it, and all I can notice is the pure joy that's on his face even if he thinks it's not a big deal. "I've always liked poetry though, I think a lot of people could relate to it if they gave it a chance. It's beautiful, and I still wish I could write so effortlessly like that."

If it was anybody else who made that statement I wouldn't have related to it, but for some reason I know exactly where he's coming from. Here in this moment, going to the place we're going and with him beside me I wished I had enough words to formulate a poem worthy enough for him. "I know what you mean." I say thoughtfully before I point beside him, "we're here by the way." 

"Chidori-ga-fuchi..hmm," his face scrunches up and it's honestly the cutest expression I've ever seen on someone. His almond shaped eyes squint closed, and his pink lips purse up slightly before you see the recognition slowly makes it's way to his features. It's a novelty how expressive he is. It's beautiful how his face lights up and his eyes shine like they have specs of gold in them. "You're taking me to see the cherry trees! Oikawa told me about this place before and I've always wanted to come." His excitement is contagious and I find myself smiling hard too and I latch onto his arm and pull him along the way to the line of boats. The line is luckily not very long with it being the middle of April, people choosing to see the sakura in first bloom instead, but the view is exceptionally beautiful anytime of year. I remember Kuroo reminding me about this place after I told him I was thinking about taking Semi out, and I'm glad I did.

As we're walking up to the ticket booth a giggle beside me catches my attention and I look over to see Semi looking towards the sky watching the flurries of falling cherry blossoms, his palms facing upward dancing along with them. It feels nostalgic, like the very first time I saw him except he doesn't look sad this time he looks so carefree and so gorgeous. An amused, "Excuse me," catches my attention and I turn to see a small light haired man with golden eyes glimmering at me. "You're being obvious," he says with a lilt to his voice as I make my way closer to the booth. I feel my face heating up and he outright laughs at me. He wipes a fake tear from his eye when he says, "So what'll it be?"

"Ah yes, just one boat ride please." I hand him the money, get our tickets while he points me in the direction we're supposed to go and I give him my thanks only to turn around and see that Semi is not next to me. I find myself whipping my head left and right just as the ticket seller perks up from behind his booth, "Your boyfriend is just along that railing right there." I follow his finger, and ignore his amused voice, to see that if I wasn't in such a panic I would have noticed that he was right in front of me.

I give him my thanks, also choosing to ignore the boyfriend part and make my way towards the railing. "Hey, you ready to go?" He turns around effortlessly acting as if he didn't just visibly startle when I spoke to him. I hold in my laugh, and we walk side by side towards the boats.

"Oh! We're going on a boat! So do we do this ourselves or is it like a gondola?" He asks excitedly while were being helped inside of the small canoe, and I can't help but laugh at his childish banter. I honesty had no idea he would enjoy this so much and I find myself immensly happy from his enjoyment.

"We do it ourseves, although I think if you ask someone we can get help. I don't mind rowing us though."

"Oh no, I was just wondering." He trails off as the guide gives us the rules and directions before we're being pushed off into the water. The fallen cherry blossoms part for us and Semi looks out into it mesmerised before he leans back slightly and closes his eyes to take a deep breath. My eyes land on how his adams apple peaks from out of his turtle neck and they trail down to how well he fills it out. I never noticed it before, with him always being in casual loose clothes every time I see him, but he's fit. He has broad shoulders and the way his cardigan falls slightly open you can see his slim waist and thick thighs. 

I glance up when his hand that was lazily hanging off to the side slowly trails up his thigh, and I come into contact with smug brown eyes before I quickly look away again. His laugh takes up the air around us, and I feel my heart stutter and my face heats up. What did I get myself into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I know I ended this off terribly, that is indeed my forte and I'm sorry?? But yeah, the new chapter will probably b out tomorrow or Wednesday if I don't procrastinate.
> 
> Side note: Semi is getting his spark back and I'm not sorry for what happens. Poor Ushi


	5. Serendipity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys fall further down the rabbit hole together.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Summary literally has nothing to do with story hahaha. I'm just not clever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I said my last chapter was my favorite?? Well that was a lie. I honestly had so much fun writing this. It literally didn't turn out how I planned at all but I'm happy with this outcome.  
> Side note: my humor is mediocre but that did not stop me from trying.  
> Side side note: I still feel cringy about my dialogue but I'm honestly trying since I'm really falling in love with this fic.
> 
> Once again, I hope you guys enjoy this one as much as I did writing it((:
> 
> P.S. the poem in the very beginning was literally the first poem I ever read about cherry blossoms. I'm literally living my life through Semi's.

I don't know where this surge of confidence came from. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I caught him checking me out when he thought I was admiring the cherry blossoms, which I was, until I remembered something and looked at him before asking just in time to see his eyes sliding down my figure. I felt a fire ignite inside of me and couldn't help but slide my hand across my thigh. The blush that crept across his face when he realized he had been caught was worth every ounce of embarrassment I put myself through to get to this moment.

"Hey, you want to hear something I just remembered?" I ask eagerly.

He visibly relaxes and looks at me with those peering eyes, you can still see the signs of his flushing even with his sun kissed skin. "Yes, of course."

I close my eyes trying to get the exact words right before I speak, and I smile when they all come to me.

" _My words rained over you, stroking you._  
A long time I have loved the sunned mother-of-pearl of your body.  
I go so far as to think that you own the universe.  
I will bring you happy flowers from the mountains, bluebells,  
dark hazels, and rustic baskets of kisses.  
I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees."

It was more satisfying saying it aloud now than whenever I read it by myself. That was always one of my favorite poems, one that didn't have to be explained in order to understand. Which is obvious to see when I look back at Ushijima, he's so flustered that I almost feel embarrassed for him, but I'm still unable to hold in my laughter in. 

"Oh Ushijima, why do you look so scandalized over a little poem?" I say after I've calmed down.

He still looks flushed and I'm almost jealous that his voice doesn't waver any when he speaks, "I just wasn't expecting that I guess. Maybe something more along the lines of what you recited back at the bookstore."

"Well I could recite just about anything to you really, but that was the first thing that came to my mind. It was the first poem I ever read about cherry blossoms. I never thought I would experience such a beautiful place like this, thank you Ushijima." I give him my most genuine smile because I truly do mean that. I most likely never would have come to this place alone, and I would have feared for my life if Tendou had taken me. He'd probably make us end up in the river with his antics. 

"Hey Semi," his voice sounds too tender for this moment, and when our eyes meet I feel my heart flutter. Instead of saying anything he scoots closer and my eyes widen slightly because, holy shit is he about to kiss me, but he smirks instead and just clasps onto my hand. It feels as if fireworks are igniting underneath my skin, and I can't seem to do anything else except blush furiously under his emerald gaze. The setting sun is making it's way for the moon to appear and different color lanterns light up the way for the cherry trees and gives the river an almost ethereal glow. The way the blossoms have fallen onto the water, and the way it parts so effortlessly makes me at a complete loss for words. This is easily one of the most memorable moments of my life, and it would be with such a beautiful man. For a second I hope that we can share many more memories like this, and I look over when he squeezes my hand to see him giving me a boyish grin as if he knows exactly what I'm thinking.

"It's almost time for us to head back, do you want to stop and get something to eat after this?" I'm distracted by the way his thumb brushes over my knuckles, and I have to take a deep breath before I answer back.

"Uh, yeah. I don't have a big appetite so it doesn't have to be any place special." He looks put off by my answer, and if I wasn't so distracted by the flex of his arms and how he easily he maneuvers the boat then I would have questioned him about it. Instead I admire how his profile looks amazing from this view, and the way the shadows are playing against it while the cherry blossoms are falling really does give him an otherworldly feeling. 

"So there's a sushi place around here that I used to go to, if that's fine with you." He says snapping me out of my revere as we glide back to the dock, and he gracefully gets up to help me out.

"That's perfect!" I say delighted as I grasp his hand and try to get out just as gracefully as him, but instead I feel like a baby deer trying to escape from a sinking ship, "I love sushi-eek!" A loud squeak escapes me because I somehow can't formulate sentences while trying to get onto a dock. It also seems the universe is trying to give me a heart attack, because I find myself being pulled into Ushijima's arms while he has a fit of laughter. His eyes are closed and his head is slightly thrown back, and he has the most beautiful laugh I've ever heard from anyone. It's like music filling the air.

"I take it you like sushi?" He says still chuckling a little, peering down at me.

"I like it a lot," comes out huskier than I intended it to and I see his eyes flick to my lips after I say it. I didn't realize how close we ended up until this moment, and I feel his arms tighten slightly around my waist while he brings his face closer to mine. My hands grip onto his shirt and I resist tugging him down to my lips, just barely. 

I can feel our breaths mingling just as a voice speaks up, "Is everything alright over here?" We jump slightly and turn to see it's the man that helped us before and I internally curse him out for not reading the atmosphere, no, he does because a small smirk appears when he sees me frowning. Ushijima removes one hand from around my waist, but lucky for me he keeps one wrapped around to keep me close to him.

"Yes sir, we're fine thank you. Someone just got a little too excited over food." There's a lilt in his voice that I would have never pictured coming from Ushijima, and I feel my ears tingling at his playful comment.

"Alrighty then. I hope you both had a wonderful time, and I'm glad no one is hurt. You guys have a great evening." He says as we walk past him. I barely restrain my side eye, oh who am I kidding no I don't. I was just about to have years taken off my life by this walking sculpture, this beautiful man was going to kiss me crazy underneath falling cherry blossoms. Damn whoever that damn attendant was damnit.

A chuckle resonates through him and I feel it more than I hear it, "You don't have to look so upset Semi," and he gets a glint in his eye right before he says, "I still have all night to kiss you after all." I choose to look at the people in line as we make our way out instead of at this man next to me that has seemed to gain the confidence I was feeling just a few minutes ago. We make our way down a long pathway that has all the sakura trees lit up and I realize these were the trees we were looking at from the water. They look even more beautiful up close and I reach my hand out to catch some of the falling petals. 

"So you play volleyball?" Ushijima asks after a few minutes of enjoying our silence together.

"Yeah, I played throughout high school. Not during university, although that didn't stop Oikawa from getting Tendou and I together for little matches here and there."

"Why'd you stop playing when you got to University? If you don't mind me asking, I don't want to pry." He adds thoughtfully, and I wave him off.

"Oh it's no big deal. My passion is with books, and that's what I chose to focus on instead." I still remember how upset Oikawa was when we told him that we wouldn't be joining volleyball, but he understood. "What about you though? I take it you used to play volleyball if you coach the kids at the gym."

A solemn look crosses his face for a fleeting second, and if I hadn't been looking then I would have missed it, but he looks down at me with a smile anyways. "Yeah, I've always played volleyball. My dad taught me how to play, and he eventually moved overseas to play there. I played up until university, and I would have most likely gone to pros also if I didn't shatter my wrist during Nationals." He says it with no sadness in his voice, but there's no telling how long it actually took him to feel strong enough to say those words and I feel my heart ache for him. To have something you love so dearly taken away from you in a split second, I could never imagine it. "Hey," he says pulling me closer, "it's okay. I've grown from it, and the kids are honestly all that I need. I don't regret any of it." 

I force myself to smile for him because he genuinely seems happy in this moment, and I'm thankful that he was comfortable enough to share that with me. "The place is right around the corner." I hum my acknowledgement and choose to stay wrapped in his arm as we pass by the flurry of people. Nighttime has fallen, and all the college kids are making their way out for a good time. "Here we are." He says as we removes his arm from around my waist in favor of opening up the door for me. I take a glance at the name before I come in, _Wok and Roll._ What a clever little name, it's decorated comfortably with booths along the wall and quaint little tables by the windows and in the middle, with a bar along another wall. There's a little half wall separating the booths and tables and it's lined with different colored flowers that bring life to the restaurant. 

"This is a pretty nice place." I tell him as we settle ourselves into a booth. 

"It was somewhat of a hangout spot during uni. When we didn't have practice or anything else going on we would come here." 

"Oh how nice." 

"Good evening. My name is Shirabu," he says as he places our menus on the table, "what can I get you two to drink?" 

"I'll just take a water with some lemon please." 

"Yes, I'll take the same also." 

I look down at my menu and happen to glance over to see that our waiter still hasn't moved from his spot, instead he looks intrigued and he gives me a smirk before he walks away to get our drinks. An anxious feeling takes over me and before I can question Ushijima our waiter returns with our drinks. 

"So Ushijima, what have you been up to these days? Still volunteering at that little gym?" He questions politely but I can see the clear intent written all over his pretty little face. With his copper straight hair and big eyes, and his little come hither smile. If it had been a few years back I would have been intimidated by how beautiful he is, but it's not a few years back. 

I place my hand where one of Ushijima's is resting on the table and make circles on top of it. He has a smile in his voice that I can't see since he has his menu up, but his reply sounds amused when he speaks to the man in front of us, "Yes I do, I got a coaching job there a while back." 

"How good Ushijima!" He drawls, then he has the nerve to utter, "If you're ever in need of any assistance, you still have my number I'm sure." I look up from my menu in disgust at his clear double meaning, and I can see Ushijima lower his menu down catching on. I decide to go along with little Shinsou heres line of conversation because number one how dare he try and flirt with my (future) man in front of me and think I'm not going to do anything, and number two who on Earth does this bold little shit think he is? 

I lower my lids just a little and draw out in my most sweetest voice, "Yeah Ushi-chan if you ever need anything don't hesitate to ask. Although I'm sure you won't need to." My fingers slide up to his forearm as I say it and I can feel a shudder run through him. 

"I-uhm- let's go on and order." The crack in his voice makes me feel triumphant and the sour look on Shirayuki's face fills me with an egotistical pride that I can't bring myself to feel ashamed of. 

"I would like the Tekka Maki please." He barely acknowledges me as he writes down my order and then looks at Ushijima expectantly. 

I flick my eyes between them trying to see if anything passes across his face that could let me in on what their relationship was, but the only person who looks even remotely interested is Shikamaru. His reply is instant after Ushijima tells him his order, "I'll get that right out for you. You won't have to wait long." He says as he takes the menus. 

"I'm sure we won't," I mutter and he shoots me a dirty look as he walks away. "Well he's pretty obvious. How do you two know each other anyways?" I try not to sound too curious, but he just shrugs his shoulders in response. 

"We used to hook up a lot at uni, that's it." His honesty shouldn't have shocked me, but I didn't expect for him to be so outright about it. "Speaking of, I debated on whether telling you this or not," he looks down at our hands and I start feeling nervous at his sudden shyness. "I remember seeing you once at Shiratorizawa. It was when the cherry blossoms first bloomed and you stood in front of the tree with a sad smile, I thought you were beautiful. I didn't realize you were the same person until my friend Kuroo pointed it out to me." I'm shocked into silence at his confession and I feel my face heating up. I envy him for being able to say that without getting flustered and tripping over his words, he looks so honest and open as if I'm his sole focus in life right now. His past notion about our waiter clears from my mind at how intently he's looking at me. 

I suddenly feel too hot and I move my hand from his to take my cardigan off trying to get some cool air, as much as I can with this godforsaken turtle neck on. Damn you Oikawa. "I-I don't know what to say, I'm flattered Ushijima." I look down at my lap and fold my cardigan across it. 

"Alrighty then! We have one order of Tekka Maki and Hayashi rice." The little shit comes handing us our plates, ruining the moment I might add. He probably did it on purpose, and I choose to ignore that fact by focusing on my sushi. We give our thanks and let the silence take over us as we enjoy our food. I didn't notice it before, but now that we stopped talking it's very peaceful in here. You can see the crowds outside going about enjoying their evening but the atmosphere in here is very calming. It almost doesn't seem like the type of place that college kids would go to in their spare time, but I'm sure a lot of things have changed since then. 

I have my fourth roll stuffed in my mouth when Ushijima decides to speak up, "Is that your favorite food?" I nod my head instead of chewing faster in order to speak because with my luck I'd choke on absolutely nothing, "I can tell. You've been dancing in your spot these past few minutes. It must've been a while since you've had it." 

I feel slightly ashamed as I swallow my food and take a sip of water before I answer, "Ah no, I actually have this about every other day. There's a place by my apartment, but this is 10 times better." I laugh out at my confession, and he looks at me with an amused smile. 

"I'm glad, that's good to hear." 

We fade off after that until we finish up our food and I happen to look back just in time to see Shirabu coming our way. I hold in my sigh, but I can't stop the arch in my brow when I see him openly ogling Ushijima. He glances my way before he appears right in front of us with a sly smirk on his face. I'm not a territorial person, in fact I'm usually the complete opposite. I love to have my space and not feel as if I'm bothering someone or being bothered, but this kid sets me on edge. He makes me want to yank Ushijima close to me and smash our lips together. He makes me want to lay him out across this booth and ravish his body so that he knows he can't have him. 

"How was everything? And did you need anything else?" He questions to Ushijima, because obviously he's the only person eating here. 

"No thank you, and it was great as always." Ushijima replies politely, "I almost forgot how great this place was." 

"If you'd come around more often you wouldn't forget, you know it's always memorable." He leans in a little too closely to him when he goes to pick up his plate and it sets my body on fire. I excuse myself from the table instead of letting my temper flare up over something tedious, and make my way towards the restroom to splash my face with some water. Even with that shitty waiters service my mood still hasn't dimmer, I still feel as if I'm living on a cloud. I use this time to take a few deep breaths before I walk back out just to see Shirabu leaning against the wall. I don't hold back my sigh and eye roll this time. 

"What do you want?" I sound annoyed, about the same way that I feel in his presence. 

He pushes off the wall and gives me a snobby once over, "Oh nothing, just trying to figure out how a shabby person like you bagged Wakatoshi." I nod my head in agreement because that's most definitely true, that man is heaven on Earth and why he decided to ask me out I will never know. Instead I close my eyes and repeat his name, Wakatoshi, such a manly name. It fits him perfectly, a huff makes me open my eyes and I smirk at him. "Ignore me all you want to but he's known for just taking what he wants so don't expect anything in return." 

His advice is spot on, but it's unneeded. He didn't even have to do all this for me and I probably still would have easily let him charm me into bed. Which is sad but I won't admit that. "Well you're probably right about that," I say as I go to pass by him and choose to lean close to him when I'm next to his ear, "But I'm not you now am I Shirabu?" I don't wait for his response. I feel triumphant upon my return to Ushijima, and he just smiles and shakes his head. 

"I don't think I even want to know what that look is for," he says as he gets up from his seat, "I've already paid. We can go on and leave." I don't argue with him about that, but I do in fact mention that he didn't have to pay the bill. 

"You've already done so much for me today really. We could have split it or something." He swipes his hand threw the air as he opens the door for me. 

"There's no need for that. I asked you out and I wanted you to enjoy yourself, so don't worry about it." A shiver crawls up my spine and it has nothing to do with the fact that we just walked outside. He said it without a hint of malice in his voice, it was just pure authority and I have no doubt that this is a man that gets anything that comes to him. 

"I did have a great evening though, thank you for that Ushijima." I tell him sincerely. 

"It was no problem at all. It's not everyday I get to spend my night with such a beautiful person." He drawls, and there's that gleam in his eyes again. 

"Since when did you become such a charmer?" He looks ahead with a boyish grin, steering me away from an oncoming group of people coming out of the station. 

"I guess you just bring out that side of me." I don't really know if that's a good thing or not, but I choose to take it as a compliment to fuel my poor ego. We take out our rail passes, and make our way onto the train. I don't realize how tired I am until I actually sit down, the exhaustion and excitement from today starts to take over and I feel myself sway lightly with the train. An arm wraps around me just before we hit a turn, and if it wasn't for that I surely would have been laying on the floor. 

"Thank you." I say to him sheepishly. 

"I would much rather you lay on me than on the floor." His eyes widen comically after he says that and his face turns beat red, "Ah I-I didn't mean it that way of course. Not saying that I don't mind if you do- but yeah. Okay." I can't stop my laughter from taking over. My new favorite thing is a flustered Ushijima. He honestly doesn't seem like the type of person to trip over his words, so it's endearing. He's quiet after that, and I'm not sure if it's due to nerves or the fact that the date is almost over but I decide to sit quietly with him. Our destination is announced, and we make our way off the train into the cool April breeze. My apartment is a couple minutes away and I try to refrain from counting down until we get there. 

"Hey," a finger lifts my chin towards him, "stop acting like this is our last goodbye. I had a great time and I would love to do this again." His reassurance fills me with a joy I never thought I needed and I shake my head in agreement. 

"You're right, I would love that also." We walk slowly to my apartment, and I admire the night sky as we go. It's peaceful and I feel his hand brush lightly against mine just as we're within eye-shot view of my apartment. 

We reach the door a few seconds later and he stays with me as we make our way to the elevator. The tension is palpable. I feel my hands sweating and I feel like a teenager again. Like a fucking virgin. This was always the part I hated about a date ending, but with him I was looking forward to it more than I want to admit. Except now that it's happening I just want to run into a corner and hide. We walk to my door in record time when we get off the elevator, I may or may not have been rushing because of my nerves, because I can't kiss this guy. It's going to ruin me, he's going to ruin me for others. What am I supposed to do if he never decides to call me after this? I just might get 2 cats or something and call it even for the rest of my life. Oh god, I'm being so dramatic I blame this on Oikawa and Tendou. 

"Well I had a great time Ushijima," it comes out as weak as I'm feeling, and that notion still doesn't stop me from trying to unlock my door so I don't make a fool out of myself somehow. I turn around to give him a proper goodbye only to be thrust back into said door, thank goodness I didn't open that yet. 

"What are you rushing off for Semi?" It comes out all husky. The light in the hallway casts a shadow across his face and makes his olive eyes glow. I feel my breathing pick up and I try to move my mouth hoping something will come out, only for him to grasp my chin. I feel my face flame up and I see his eyes roam as if he's capturing this moment. "That's a good look on you Semisemi." I don't get to form my next words because his hand slides to the back of my neck and pushes me into him. 

At first I don't feel his lips, it's as if a cloud brushes over me all soft and pliant. Then it's as if a thunderstorm hits. His hand moves from around my neck and they both grasp onto my hips and he pulls me closer as I open my mouth so he can deepen the kiss. It's a kiss I've never experienced before. He kisses me with such ease and licks into my mouth as if he's always known what made me tick. A gasp escapes and he chooses that time to lick across my bottom lip before he tugs down on it, and I feel the sensation shoot straight to my cock. My body goes on auto pilot after that and I roll my hips against his only to feel his hardening cock before he pushes me into the door roughly. I feel him smirk against my lips while my hands seem to realize they can move and they raise up to tug on his shirt, and I roll my hips against his again just as I swipe my tongue into his mouth. The groan I get in return is downright sinful and I almost feel myself come on the spot. He breaks away, almost reluctantly, and rests his forehead against mine to catch his breath. He's just tall enough that his lips are in my line of sight from this angle, and I can't help but lick my own with greedy anticipation. 

"We should stop," or....not? I'm almost hurt by his comment, but I know it's just my lust riddled mind thinking that and I'm glad he has a clear enough head to say so. 

"Yeah, you're probably right." My voice is rough, and I don't think I've ever sounded or felt so turned on in my life. 

He leans down and gives me a softer kiss this time. His lips form over mine and it feels as if every fantasy I've ever conjured up has just about come true in this moment. He pulls away slowly and I force myself to not chase after him. 

"I'll see you later Semisemi." He says with a roguish grin while I give him a small smile and a wave. I'm sure I look dazed and the look he gives me before he walks away proves my point. When I walk inside and close the door I slam my back against the wall and place my hand over my heart as if that could stop this feeling. I choose to shake my head and ignore it and make my way to my room. 

"So how was your date?" 

"HOLY SHIT!" I almost jump out of my boots and I turn around to glare back at Tendou on the couch, Oikawa is draped lazily across him and both of their amused eyes make me want to run out of my own home. "What the hell are you two still doing here? And don't ever scare me like that again. Turn on some damn lights next time weirdos." My banter goes in one ear and out the other and Tendou is the first to speak again. 

"Sooo....was the kiss great? I mean it sounded like it hot, I almost got a semi just listening." 

"Pun intended." Oikawa adds, and I roll my eyes and make my way into the room to change out of these clothes. They, of course, follow me in here and lay across my bed and wait. 

"Ugh, yes it was great. He was great, everything was great. He took me on a boat ride at Chidorigafuchi. It was honestly magical, this guy is a dream you guys. And that kiss? Holy fuck, I could die right now and I would have no regrets in life." I ramble on as I plop down on the bed in between them, and they listen to my banter with small smiles on there face and when I'm done I yawn towards the ceiling. "I'm exhausted you guys, let's not talk anymore I promise I'll answer your prying questions in the morning." 

Tendou laughs from beside me and agrees while Oikawa gets up to turn the lights off before he makes his way back into bed. Before sleep takes over me I feel Tendou run his fingers through my hair and say close to my ear, "If anyone deserves happiness it's you Eita." Oikawa hums his agreement and I'm lulled to sleep with a smile on my face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a hard time trying to figure out how to end this, but I actually like this ending the most aside from the others. Semi has friends who love & care about his happiness and I'm not ashamed??
> 
> ALSO, you guys have NO IDEA how hard it was for me not to turn this into pure smut. I was telling my mind "no fluff" and my poor hellbent senses were really trying to stray me away from the gates of heaven. Literally I feel so ashamed bc each and every scenario in this thing I found a way to make it sexual. I make no promises for the next chapter though
> 
> P.S. I love Shirabu but somebody had to be the bad guy & when the moment came up I took that chance and sprinted with it.


	6. Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Semi gets a surprise at work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve come to the conclusion that I seriously hate this chapter, so we’re just going to say it’s a transitioning chapter. Which it basically is.   
> So I’m not saying it’s completely terrible, but it is bringing new things to light so there’s that. Please don’t expect anything out of this though.
> 
> P.S. you see that edit. That’s the change of a rating because my soul seems to be set on making these guys sin. You’re welcome?? 
> 
> P.p.s. I’m truly sorry for any errors. I’d say it’s bc I overlooked them, but I’m trash and I was tired of rereading this over and over again. Let me know if there are any you see. 
> 
> (❁´ω`❁)

The smell of coffee brewing and laughter wakes me up the next morning, and I stretch my limbs and walk to the restroom to prepare myself for the onslaught I know that’s coming. After I freshen up I make my way out to the kitchen saying my greetings to them as I make my tea. 

“So last night Semi....” I can hear the smirk in Tendou’s voice before I even turn around. 

“I don’t have anything else to talk about,” I reply briskly and Oikawa laughs out loud. 

“Don’t be that way Semisemi, it was our first time seeing you off on a date in a while.”

“Yeah and now I realize why. You guys didn’t have to embarrass me like that,” I scold as I check my cabinet for which tea I want this morning before work. I decide to go with Sakura leaves with green tea since it’s so fitting with my mood. “By the way, did you guys leave any last night or did you stay here the whole time?” 

“Oh, we knew you were either going to chicken out with letting Ushijima in or he had enough sense to refuse so we stayed here.” Tendou says triumphantly, I hide my cringe because I almost did chicken out but by their snickering behind me they obviously knew I already did. I let my tea steep a little longer before I turn around to face them and see them staring at me with big smiles on their faces. 

“Goodness gracious stop being dorks, you make it seem like I’ve never had a crush before.” I huff as I walk back off to my closet, “and shouldn’t you guys be getting going to get ready for work also?”

“Semi you should honestly know better by now, we obviously brought an overnight bag.” 

“Of course you did,” mumbling to myself I open my closet and decide on if I want to look as relaxed as I feel or if I want to actually look nice even though it’s just work, “OH! That reminds me! I met some little shit last night at the restaurant Ushi took me.” I say casually looking through my clothes as if this isn’t the bomb they’ve been waiting for. 

I hear the bed squeak from where they were sitting on the bed. Obviously raising up to get the scoop, “Okayyy? Start talking!” Tendou screeches while Oikawa starts prying, “What did he look like? Eye color? Height? Were they lovers before? Oh this is getting interesting!” 

I roll my eyes and remember why I told myself to forget, “Oh hush and let me speak already. He had light brown eyes and he looked so angelic, but his personality was complete shit. I’m telling you I’ve never met a more rotten person in my life. And in Ushijima’s words they only “had sex a couple of times.’”

Oikawas hand flies to his heart while Tendou falls back on the bed and they both sigh together before Kawa speaks up first, “what an honest man!”

“I know. Anyways, so we just got there and already this kid was batting those eyelashes. I swear if he tried any harder he would have flew away. He was so suggestive, and I didn’t even know if Ushijima caught on at first until I said something-“

“What’d you do?” Oikawa interrupts. 

“Hmm? Oh nothing really,” I say pulling out my outfit and setting it in the bed, “now I did excuse myself to the restroom and he was waiting on me outside. I swear I only saw that in soap operas.” We all got a kick out of that and fall out laughing before we calm down and I carry on, “He was all like ‘he takes what he wants so don’t expect anything in return’ it was so cliched I was ashamed for him.” 

“Please tell me you brought the old Semi out, we don’t see him enough anymore.” Tendou says as if I’m not standing right in front of him. 

“Tch of course I said something. After he told me his little speech I walked up to him and said that’s probably true but I’m not him.” 

“So catty Semisemi-chan!! I would have killed to see the look on his face.” Oikawa squeals. 

“Yeah me too, come on we need to get ready for work I’ll tell you more later.” I say walking to the restroom as they walk to get their overnight bags. We get done in record time and they pour themselves coffee while I pour my tea into a mug and grab our stuff as we make it out of the door.

The bookstore is about a 10 minute walk from my apartment, that is when I don’t have Tendou and Oikawa with me. We usually get caught up looking at stores I see every day or people watching as we pass by the park. By the time we make it there I see the lights are already on, and we make our way to the back door to see Iwaizumi is sitting at the table. 

“Hey, hope you guys are ready to work today because we have a lot of shipments today.” He greets. 

“Agh really, and I thought it was going to be an easy going day. I guess your date yesterday wasn’t good luck.” Tendou says and I punch him. 

“Well my date isn’t supposed to bring you luck anyways.”

“Kawa did mention you had a date. How’d that go for you?” Iwa asks as he drops his books and looks at me intently. 

“It was great. He was a real peach, if I play my cards right I might get laid and not run him off.” 

Oikawa and Tendou huff and walk out to the front, to get ready I presume, and it leaves Iwaizumi and I alone. I was always on my toes around him, never in a bad way. When we first met it was in one of our classes, we both just so happened to be majoring in Library Science which obviously brought us closer because who actually majors in that. We had a real kick out of it back then, but it brought us to having our own bookstore so we don’t complain too much about it now. 

“Semi sit down they have it out there. It feels like we haven’t talked in forever.” My palms for some reason start sweating but I pull the chair in front of him out anyways and sit down. 

“So how are things?” 

He laughs at my attempt at talking and it’s always such a beautiful sight. Once upon a time Oikawa, Iwaizumi and I ‘dated’. I wouldn’t exactly call it dating because I didn’t want a relationship. They were head over heels for each other and I felt as if I was getting in the way so I decided to let them be, now we’re still great friends. Still, Iwaizumi could make the strongest mans heart flutter when he puts those intense eyes on you. 

“You don’t have to be so uptight,” he says leaning back into his chair. His shirt stretches across his chest and I try my hardest not to look, “Oikawa didn’t really tell me about your date, but I heard it was with Ushijima. He treated you well?” 

“Oh yeah,” I sigh. I feel ashamed for thinking this conversation was going to be awkward. We own a bookstore together for goodness sakes, “He was really nice honestly.” I say sincerely and he gives me a small smile. 

“That’s good. It’s nice to see you actually give someone a try,” this moment feels too sentimental, but compared to how I used to be when he first met me and how I was lately I can see why everybody has been so happy for me even if it is overwhelming. 

“Thank you Iwaizumi. The support you guys have been giving me means a lot, even if this doesn’t work out.” I laugh after saying that but he’s still looking at me seriously. “Well we should get on out there we’re about to open up.” I get up to scoot my chair in and I’m close to the door when he does speak up. 

“Eita,” my name is enough to stop me dead in my tracks because he rarely ever uses it and I turn around to see him watching me with an unreadable expression, “If he hurts you that’s his ass.” 

I’ve never been under his scrutinizing gaze before and I now see why Oikawa tests him so much. I give him a squeak of acknowledgement in response and rush out the door to calm my beating heart. With the amount of pressure it’s been getting lately I just might go into overdrive. I have to lean against the bookshelf to calm myself before I make it to the front and get ready to open. 

“He’s hot when he’s stern isn’t he?” Oikawa pipes up. 

“ _Goodness fuck!_ Oikawa damnit at least make yourself presentable you scared the crap out of me.” I say with my hand over my heart as I push off the bookshelf, so much for a peaceful moment, and I go on to the front to unlock the door. “Everything’s set up or pretty much put into place to be organized?” 

“Yes Semi sir.” He quips, “Tendou is moving the boxes to their sections now.” 

“Okay good. Here move this to the back for me,” I grab a stack of papers from the table and look on top to see a letter from someone I never thought I’d see one from, “When did this get here?” I ask raising it up for him to see. 

He looks almost hesitant before he answers, “I don’t know it was there when we got here. You want me to take it to the back?” 

“Uh. Yeah go on and take it.” I hand it to him without question. What on earth could he want now? Before I can dig any deeper about it though my phone goes off, and I look down at it and smile from ear to ear. 

_Ushi-chan ^ω^）_  
Hey Semi, I hope you’re day is starting off good. I’m just making it to the gym now, so I hope you have a good one if I don’t get to talk to you soon

It was a simple text, but it took my mind off of the dread that was about to come my way and I give him a cheery response before I go to open the doors. 

“Okay! We’re open now guys let’s look alive!” I yell out as I make my way to find Tendou to make sure he’s actually doing work and not sleeping in a corner. I make my way around the bookshelf behind the register since that’s always his first hiding spot to see him bent over a book studying it carefully. 

“You know normally we just put the books on the shelf, otherwise we’d be here all day if we inspected them.” I say as I make my way towards him to help him start on the next cart. 

“Hey Semi, do you think you’ll fall in love with Ushijima?” The question almost knocks me on my ass because I expected it from anyone but Tendou, I somehow hide my surprise easily and just smile at him. 

“It’s too early to tell,” I pluck the book out of his hand to take a look at it and laugh when I see what he picked up, “ _The Notebook_ Tendou? How cliched of you. Finish up here, I’ll get started on the rest.” 

I get up from my spot and head to the back while checking to make sure no one is here. Other than Oikawa lounging at the front it’s still slow, which isn’t surprising for a Monday morning. The bell chimes overhead and laughter and greetings ring throughout the quiet space. We mainly have college kids come through here, occasionally elderly people, but sometimes it’s mainly wanderers who stop by and stay just browsing the books. I’ve told Iwa we need to make a little coffee shop in here, but we’d need more employees, and costumers for that matter. I round the corner to see said person is already at the spot I thought I had covered. 

“Now Iwa, we all know this section is mine.” I joke to him, and he startles a little as if nobody was supposed to find him. 

“Ah I didn’t see you back here when I got out the room so I went on and started,” He says with a sheepish smile and goes to get up from his spot. 

“That’s alright. We can do this one together, we seem to always get the most shipment for our little poetry section.” Wriggling up beside him I check around on the cart to see if there’s anything new while he continues placing the books on the shelves. “Wow I haven’t heard of him in a while,” I say to him holding up the _John Boyle O’Reilly_ book. The cheekiest smile fills his face. 

“A costumer came in here the other day and asked. I felt completely ashamed when I told her we didn’t have anything, so I made sure to order double that.”

“Wow. I haven’t read any of his works since college I think.” I say flipping the book open and taking a whiff of the pages. It still has an unread smell. You can always tell when someone has read a book or not. You can feel their memories or emotions that fly by with the words as you read along with them. Sometimes that’s my favorite part of reading, trying to guess which part it was that made people’s heart race or that made them cry. Which part was their climax or when their beginning started. 

“You’re ravishing the pages Semi.” Iwaizumi says with a smile in his voice. 

“Hah, sorry my bad.” I close the book and look through the shelf on where it goes when he pipes up again. 

“You saw the letter from him?” The question throws me off, but I expected this already. Unlike Tendou’s question. 

“Yeah I have. It’s in the back room somewhere where Oikawa put it, and if I know him that’s probably in the trash can.” 

“I wasn’t going to say anything about it, but I know you guys left off with bad blood so I didn’t know...” he trails off. I appreciate him for letting me know, all though I wasn’t going to argue with him either way. It’s not his fault that he’s finally decided to talk to me. 

“No really. It’s okay. I most likely wouldn’t open it anyway, he always brings me trouble and I’m happy enough with my life now.” I say genuinely to him. 

He gives me his look before he finds what he’s looking for and gives me a slight nod before we’re going back to our organizing. We finally get done with all the boxes about halfway into our day, between helping costumers and taking unneeded breaks, and for some reason we all decide to take another break once we get all the boxes taken out back. 

“Man that was a workload! What’dya order so many books for this time around?” Tendou sighs from his spot on the counter. 

“Well Tendou we are getting more costumers so obviously we order more books to go along with it,” I pipe up just as the bell rings. 

Everyone sits there just picking at their nails, even Iwaizumi is lost in space as he watches Oikawa twiddle his thumbs. “Well not everyone get up at once.” I huff making my way to the front to greet whatever costumer decided to come in. A familiar shadow shows up in my line of sight and I smile sweetly at him. 

“Hey Ushijima! I didn’t expect to see you here today.” I sidle up to him and he easily wraps me in a hug. 

“I was around and thinking about you. I also brought lunch.” He says into my hair. I hear the deep rumble travel throughout his body and almost don’t register what he says, that is until Tendou pipes up from behind me.

“Oh we have a visitor! Wait we have two visitors and one has food!” He screeches, and I hope for once we are the only ones in here. Ushijima laughs at him and releases me, but his scent still surrounds me. He smells like sweat and cinnamon, and I’m proud of myself for learning to barely withstand this demi-gods existence. 

“Hello Ushijima. How nice to see you again.” Oikawa comes around the corner looking slightly red, I squint my eyes at him and roll them when Iwaizumi comes also and his hair is disheveled. 

“Hello Oikawa and Iwaizumi. Having a great day so far?” The lilt in his voice and how Oikawa gets impossibly more red almost makes me double over. Instead I turn to our new guest and see Tendou has already made himself comfortable, and I pinch Ushi in the side. 

“Are you going to introduce us before Tendou snatches him away?” He looks back and smiles at the sight. 

“This is Kawanishi. He’s a longtime friend and also works with me at the gym.” 

“Hello everyone,” he replies politely. He has dark ginger hair and almost bored looking eyes, but he’s clearly comfortable. Even with Tendou slightly crouching into his space, he still doesn’t seem bothered. Amused, more like it. 

“Kawanishi,” Tendou repeats and gives him those hooded no good troubled eyes, “is their a first name that goes with that?” That cringe worthy line would have been shameful coming from anyone else, but even Ushijima’s eyes widen slightly at how brass Tendou is. 

Poor Kawanishi’s face is the color Oikawa’s once was, but his comeback stops Tendou dead in his tracks, “You’re pretty straightforward for a bookkeeper.” He says before he leans in and says something to him that nobody can hear, but I’m pretty sure we don’t need the words to know what was said. Tendou, _Mr. I do the teasing and never get teased back,_ for once is speechless and his face is flushed more than I’ve ever seen it be. His eyes widened slightly before he turns towards the door and locks it for lunch, and Kawanishi walks off with a smirk on his face to stand next to Ushi. 

“Be nice Kawa,” he takes the bags out of his hands and just shrugs at him still smiling to himself, “I didn’t know what everyone liked so I just made some curry, rice balls, and there’s fruit in here also.” He says. 

“That sounds great. We can just go this way. We have a table over here big enough for all of us.” I say following Oikawa and Iwaizumi to the hidden spot we have in between the shelves that we save for groups. 

“So you cooked all of this yourself?” I ask as we get to the table and start putting it all out before we sit down. 

“Well Kawanishi made the rice balls because I’ve never been coordinated enough for that.” He admits. 

“What? The great Ushi-chan can’t make simple rice balls,” Oikawa whips to which Iwaizumi glares at him, “You can’t even make rice balls what are you talking about?” A hurt gasp fills the air. 

“He’s absolutely right Oikawa,” Tendou says as we all begin to take our seats, “you can’t cook at all. All you do is eat milk bread, if Iwaizumi wasn’t around I’m sure you’d starve.”

“I’m hurt Sacchan not you too!” He shrugs and we all laugh as we pile on our plates to eat. 

A comfortable silence falls over us, but I don’t miss the slight tension coming from Tendou and Kawanishi. I don’t know if they planned on being subtle, but if they are they’re doing a terrible job at it. After what feels like their sixth glance at each other I finally lean over to Ushijima, “Hey do you know if they know each other from somewhere?”

He doesn’t look up at all after he pops a strawberry in his mouth and chews, “No clue,” he says after he swallows, “and I thought Shirabu was terrible.” That makes me laugh out loud and everyone snaps their heads toward us. 

“Anything you guys would like to share with us?” Oikawa quips. 

“No. I reminded Semi of something is all.” Ushijima says as I rein in my laughter. 

“Well I’m not saying that was amazing, but that was pretty amazing.” Tendou says after we all seem to be just about done with our food. 

“Yeah it was. We need to clean up and get back to work. It’s almost time to open back up,” Iwaizumi instructs, “that was great, thanks for that Ushijima and Kawanishi.”

“No problem,” they say simultaneously just as the bell in the back room chimes. 

“Who could that be?” I say. 

Iwaizumi looks up from cleaning his and Oikawa’s stuff up, “another package maybe? We didn’t get all the shipment this morning.” 

“Alrighty then, I’ll go get it.” I say throwing my stuff away on the way out. 

“I’ll go with you,” I hear Ushi say as I’m walking away. I would say it’s okay but he’s already next to me. 

“That was amazing. You’ll have to tell me your secret sometime,” I tell him just so I can have an excuse to hear him speak. 

“Ha, I just have a lot of time on my hands.” He admits. 

“Hmm, a lot of time and you utilize it by cooking. Such a man Ushijima,” I tease while wrapping my hand around his arm to guide him around the corner to the back door. “So Ushijima what else do you do to utilize your time?” I ask while looking through the peephole and it is indeed another package. 

“Delivery for _Ko Ko Books_?” The driver says. 

“Yup that’s us,” I say taking the pad away from him and signing, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome and here you go,” He hands over the box, “you have a nice day.”

“You too!” I reply while closing the door with the box in my hand. 

“I don’t do anything too special. Here, let me get that from you.” Ushijima says while taking the box out of my hand to which I pout. 

“Why is it that you never let me do anything when we’re together?” He genuinely looks like he’s in deep thought as we walk to the back room to set the box down. 

“Well I do, I just never tell you what it is.” It shouldn’t have made my heart race, but when he turned those olive eyes to mine after he said it I felt my heart stutter. “You know I didn’t just walk you back here to be a gentleman.” He grabs me by my wrist and tugs me to him and I smile, “I’ve been thinking about this since I saw you again.” I see him say the words on his lips more than I hear them and it doesn’t matter because he seals his lips over mine and wraps his arms around me. 

It’s nothing like how it was before. We were all tongues and hands, and it was pure lust leading to a build up that we didn’t cave into, but now it’s the complete opposite. It’s like he’s trying to consume my soul and I’m letting him. I gasp when his hand slides around the back of my neck and he takes that initiative to slide his tongue across mine to deepen the kiss. My hands find their way around his waist, and I almost forget he doesn’t have jeans on, that is until I feel his cock against my stomach and I hum my appreciation into his mouth as I push him back against the counter. 

“ _Fuck_ Semi,” he groans into my mouth, and I swear that’s all I care about. The only thing that fuels my mind is how I can get that deep lust riddled voice to moan my name more. I slide my hand up his spine and rest it right at the base of his neck and I swear I feel a full body shudder go through him as I slide my tongue into his mouth. While he’s distracted I play around with the waist of his shorts with my other hand and he stops immediately. 

“Hey,” He says roughly as he slides his hands into my hair and pulls my head back, “what do you think you’re doing?” 

“I was just-“ I’m cut off by him switching our positions, and he leans down and looks into my eyes. His seem to be glowing, but he looks as if he as everything in control. 

“Semi, did you think you were going to seduce me in your back room?” He asks me sweetly, but he slides his hands down my arms and grasps me tightly until their pushed to the same counter I just had him against not even a few seconds ago. 

“I-Well maybe I was go-going to.” I stutter out. I never really noticed just how much taller he was than me until now, well obviously I did notice but it’s different when he’s crowded over me with my arms locked on each side by his hand. He looks intimidating now, when otherwise he looks soft yet untouchable any other time. It sends me on a haywire and I let out a soft whimper as he leans closer to me. The smirk he gives me in return is pure evil and if I didn’t feel completely safe in his arms I would have questioned it, but I know I just got a glimpse into what he’s like when he’s in control. I let myself relax in his arms and tilt my head upwards before he steals my breath away with another kiss. 

“Well this is a steamy scene, _tsk_ and you talk about my voyeurism Semisemi-chan.” Both our heads whip to the door and see a mischievous Oikawa leaning against the door, “Well that was quite the scene honestly it probably will fuel my dreams for a while, but we’re opening back up and Kawa-chan is looking for you Ushi-chan~” he sing songs. We take a deep breath as he laughs and pulls himself away from the wall and back to wherever he came from. 

“Well that wasn’t embarrassing at all,” he says and that alone makes me flustered and I laugh. 

“Who knew you could get embarrassed Ushi.” He smiles at me and we break away, him fixing his clothes and me staring at him while he does so because I know there’s no hope for me. 

“I’m a man like any other. I had a great lunch with you Semi. I hope we can do this again some other time.” He says and I raise my eyebrow at him, “The lunch. I meant the lunch.” He adds quickly. 

“Ha, that’s okay. We can do it any time you want to.” I wink at him and lead us to the front of the store.

“Would you like to go out, say about Wednesday?” He asks before we get to everyone. 

“Of course I would Ushijima.” I say looking up at him with a sweet smile. 

“Okay,” he replies as if he’s lost in thought but then he blushes and looks away, “I’ll let you know where whenever I think of something.” He says and I laugh just as we make it to the door where everyone is usually never waiting after lunch, but they seem to be waiting now. 

“That was entertaining, let’s do this again some other time.” Oikawa says with a smirk on his face. 

We all say our goodbyes after that, Ushijima pulling me into the same hug that he greeted me in, and I look over to see Tendou and Kawanishi together just before we break away and watch them leave. 

“Well that was a nice and pleasant surprise.” Oikawa says as he goes to keep the door unlocked. 

“Yeah it was, and I can’t wait to get into that guys pants.”

“Tendou!” “Come on Sacchan!” Oikawa and Iwaizumi say together. 

“Whaaaat? All I’m sayin’ is he totally wants me. I know you felt that heat!” He says dramatically raising his hands to the sky.

“Actually the only heat I felt was seeing Ushijima going dominant on our dear Semi here.” Appalled gasps fill the air and I try to hurry and make my retreat but it’s too late. 

“Eita! You sly little whore.”

“It’s not even like that,” I tell Tendou and Iwaizumi just walks away smiling knowingly. 

“Oh you’re such a liar Semi. He thrust you up against that counter and I swear I felt it in my own cock.”

“Oikawa hush! People are about to come in,” I say frantically before he gets too out of hand, especially with Tendou here to fuel him now. Both of them laugh and Oikawa comes up to wrap his arm around my shoulder. 

“It’s okay. I won’t say anything more, just take him home next time.” I slap my hands onto my face as both of them walk away laughing. The rest of this day is going to drain me, I sigh to myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I noticed that these chapters keep getting longer and longer. 
> 
> ALSO YOU SEE THE AMOUNT OF DIALOGUE!!!?????!!!! *round of applause for myself even if it is terrible*


	7. To Have and To Have Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushijima flustered before a date is my aesthetic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow???? Back to back chapters Darian??? I really outdid myself. 
> 
> This chapter is from Ushijima’s pov because I have to keep you guys on your toes, and also bc my last chapter of him didn’t give him justice. I’m maybe thinking of doing switched POV with certain chapters but maybe not. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope I get the next chapter out as fast as this one because it will be pretty exciting *hint hint* （ゝ。∂）
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this little chapter, and let me know about any errors. I checked this time, I promise

It’s been hectic these past few days at the gym. With new classes coming in, as well as some new coaches and assistants. There are always new volunteers showing up, that’s no surprise. I haven’t seen Semi or his friends here in a while, but I’ve been meeting at his bookstore this week so that hasn’t really bothered me. Unlike today though, Kuroo and Bokuto asked me out for lunch so here we are in our little coffee shop talking about absolutely nothing. 

“Hey UshiWaka, how’s it going with your little angel?” Kuroo asks after fussing with Bo for ten minutes about something mundane. This seems to catch Bokuto’s attention because he stops his fidgeting immediately and crosses his arms on the table to listen. 

“It’s going better than expected. I’m going over to his house after work to watch movies.” I reply. 

“Oh?” Kuroo comments and sure enough Bo is right after him. 

“Ohoho? A movie date is it?” 

“Bokuto I’m sure if it was a movie date then we’d actually be going to the movies.” I add. 

“Movie smoovie, it’s more intimate at the house anyways so that makes it count. Isn’t that right Kuroo?”

“He absolutely right,” He says deathly serious, “this might be a turning point in your relationship.”

“You’re probably right. He might ask me to move in with him.” Both of them shut their mouths quickly, it would have looked more comical if they were open along with their shocked eyes. “It was obviously a joke. I’ve only known him for two weeks you guys.”

Bokuto laughs, “well yeah duh we knew it was a joke. Ha, but holy crap Kuroo Ushi just made a joke!” He slaps his palm on the table which catches the attention of the table across from us. 

“Calm down Bokuto.” I sigh. 

“It’s totally love!” Kuroo exclaims obviously ignoring the advice I just gave to Bokuto. “I’ve never heard you make a joke before. You found love UshiWaka-chan.” He says dreamily. They both sigh and lay their heads together and stare at me while I roll my eyes. 

“Really guys, it’s just a few movies. And stop calling me that. I can tell he likes me though, and of course I like him. He just seems as if he’s closed off,” I pause to gather my words before I continue, “it’s like one minute he has this spark of confidence that puts me on my toes and the next he’s closed off, like he’s trying to figure out everything around him. I’ve never met someone who’s caught my attention like that.”

“Wow Ushi that’s amazing, we’re happy for you.” Kuroo says with a genuine smile. 

“Of course we are! We can finally have our triple dates now.” Bokuto practically yells. 

“Bokuto shh,” I scold again when I see he catches the same tables attention and it goes to no avail when Kuroo pipes up. 

“Oh yeah! How awesome is this going to be, we need to make it happen soon.” 

“Please no,” I groan, “you guys might scare him off alone. I’m sure he’d get along perfectly with Akaashi and Kenma though.”

“Of course he would. We have the ideal mates,” Bokuto says proudly. 

“Mates? What is this an ABO fanfic? They’re our lovers, say something more romantic Bo!” Kuroo cries. At this point I’ve given up on quieting them down, and I don’t know why I think I could have. I apologize to the people next to us before I turn back about to say my goodbyes. 

“Hey Ushijima?” Kuroo asks. 

“Yes Kuroo?”

“Have you guys kissed?” He asks planting those cat like eyes on me. His gaze was one I could never stray away from. It’s like they lock on you and know everything before you even say anything. 

“Hmm?” I say instead. Which is probably a dead giveaway. 

“He asked if you and your angel have kissed.” Bokuto chimes in. 

“Thanks Bokuto. I’m not going to answer though,” I say while getting up and checking around me to make sure I have all my belongings. 

“Awh come on Ushi!” Bokuto whines. 

“That’s okay Bo,” Kuroo says giving me his signature smirk, “have a good day at work. And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do tonight.” I hear him say before I walk out the door. 

It’s coming up to mid-June so the weather outside is getting warmer, and you can see that as you watch people. More people are at the park playing in shorts and bringing kites out for their kids. I can see Semi out there, him laying on one of my blankets staring up at the sky or reading a book with the sun beaming down on him. I’ll have to take him on a picnic sometime, I think to myself as I round the corner and walk straight until I’m at the gym. 

“Coach! Coach!” Hinata squeals running up to me frantically before I even get the door closed. 

“Coach Ushijima look!” He points and I follow his stubby little finger to an injured Nishinoya. Well he would look injured if he wasn’t smiling from ear to ear. 

“What happened this time Noya?” I ask bending down to his height. He’s the smallest of the bunch, almost tied between Hinata, but they are the most active ones. Which I have to look out for most of the time, times like this specifically. 

“Well I was-I was going to do my rolling thunder!” He yells ecstatically tripping over his words, “but I tripped instead and fell into the ground. You wanna see my battle scar, Hmm Coach!? It looks super cool!” His little fingers wrap around the bandage on his nose about to tug before I hurry and put my hand over it. 

“No that’s okay, maybe another time Noya. You need to let it heal. For now sit out for a little while we do drills, Okay?” A pout forms on his lips and I have to force myself to look away as he goes to sit on the bench beside the net. Most people would think dealing with how overactive kids are, or that not listening would be the problem but the hardest thing to deal with is seeing their sad little faces. It always breaks my heart, but my number one goal as coach is to keep my kids as safe as possible even if it is something minor. 

“Alright class. I take it you were good for Coach Kawanishi?” I ask as they all take their spots on the court, and I get a ‘yes sir’ in unison. 

“I was the bestest Coach, just ask ‘em!” Hinata, Of course, yells to which Kageyama obviously feels the need to chime in and instead I cut him off before they start their usual bickering. 

“I have no doubt that you were all equally as great, and its best Hinata not bestest.” I tell him and Kageyama pokes his little tongue out at him. “Now we’re going to try a different line up this time since Noya has to sit out for the time being.” I tell them and get them into formation explaining each roll, and watching their little faces light up. 

The rest of practice goes by better than I expected it would with Nishinoya being out and all, but his little cheers from the sidelines kept the rest of his teams spirit up and it all worked out in the end. 

“Okay you guys gather around, Noya you come on over here too.” I wait for his short little patter until he’s joining the rest of his team on the ground, “Alright. Tomorrow we will have a team match,” they’re excited chatter fills them gym and I quiet them down so I can continue, “Okay let’s calm down now. Make sure you all get plenty of rest tonight, and do what your parents tell you or you will sit out.” 

“Yes sir Coach!” They yell with little smiles on their face. 

“Okay. It’s time to go now, be good!” I watch them get up and run to their moms or dads until they all filter out. The gym is still packed with multiple practices going on or other people just playing matches together, and I go to make my way to my office to close down for the day. 

“So. Tonight’s your little movie date?” Kawanishi says as I turn to face him at my door. 

“I don’t know why everyone keeps calling it a date. I’m just going to his house to watch movies, we’re not going out.” I tell him. 

“You know that’s technically still a date Ushi.” He replies back instantly. 

“Whatever you guys say.” I say turning back to my desk to finish organizing papers. 

“So...” He says expectantly, and I sigh after I’ve finished. 

“Yes Kawa?” 

“Are you planning on doing anything tonight?” The smirk he gives me lets me know exactly what he’s talking about and I hide my irritation even though I know he just wants to ruffle me up like Kuroo and Bo do all the time. 

“I wasn’t expecting it, no. I’m sure if I was going to I wouldn’t tell you guys anyways.” I say keeping the boredom out of my voice. 

“Ouch UshiWaka. If he weren’t as close as brothers that would have stung me,” he jokes, “by the way he was looking at you before you left, one would think you were already close to doing something.” 

“I’m not having this talk with you,” I say picking up my bag and he laughs. 

“Always so uptight when you’re the last person that should be acting that way, with all that you’re into and whatnot.” He says giving me a sly smirk as he walks with me to the door. 

“We’re not getting into that, like I said, and I doubt Semi would either.” I don’t exactly believe the words as they leave my mouth, and the look he gives me tells me he doesn’t either but I ignore it nonetheless. “Well I need to go on and get going to get ready.” I say to him as we get to the street to go our respective ways. 

“Alright Ushi. Be safe and don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do.” 

“Whatever Kawanishi.” We wave and I make my way towards my apartment. 

It’s about a 20 minute walk, but with it always being close to the evening time the walk is nice even during the summer. The sun sets perfectly behind the trees. There aren’t as many buildings with us being just outside of the city, and I’ve always liked that more. The air is nicer out here, the streets are more peaceful and the people more lively. I start to realize why Semi says everyone should give poetry a chance. It’s something that you can find in anything; the trees, a skyline, ash blonde hair and chocolate eyes. 

Everything is a different feeling with him. It all seems brighter, every street lamp that guides me on my way home. Even as I make my way to the door of my apartment, I used to feel myself going along with life, never thinking of how lonely I actually was until I met him. He’s never once stepped foot in here, but it’s like his presence never leaves me. Is this what Love feels like? I stop on my way to the room and just stand here. 

I’ve never actually been in love so it’s not as if I would even know where to begin. I could ask Kuroo or Bokuto, but that would just lead them to exactly what they want to hear. I could merely be in love with the idea of loving him, this could just be pure infatuation, but I’ve never wanted to be around someone just to be around them. I’ve never taken anyone on a date or brought them food to their job. I would say I’m more of an asshole and that alone makes me wonder who I made happy in a past life to deserve such luck. 

I place those thoughts aside for now, and make my way to the bathroom where I strip my clothes off and place them in the hamper before turning on the shower and getting in. I take longer than truly necessary, and when I get out I check my phone to see I have a message from Semi. 

_Semisemi ☾_   
Hey Ushi. Just letting you know that I made it home. You can come on whenever you’re ready. 

I type my reply back to him and go to the room to raid my closet. I could go for something casual, I should most definitely go for something casual but my heart seems to be pounding a mile a minute like I’ve never been in an enclosed space with someone before. What movies does he like to watch? Maybe Oikawa will be there, if he is then he’d be sure to bring Iwaizumi since it’s a dat- the sound of my phone ringing cuts off my frantic thoughts and I rush over to see it’s just Kuroo. I sigh and answer. 

“Hello Tetsu, and hello Bokuto.” Since I know he’s already over there. 

“Wow. No need to sound so enthusiastic Ushi, really.” He says sarcastically, and I hear Bokuto yell from the background. Another voice sounds across the speaker and I know Akaashi is over there also. 

“I’m sorry. I’m just trying to choose an outfit.” I tell him. 

“Yes, Yes. I know, and you’re thinking a mile a minute and if you didn’t have great friends surrounding you you just might have had a panic attack all alone in your room.” He says matter-of-factly. 

“ _Tch_. What makes you think I was really acting like that,” I reply indignantly walking back to my closet. 

“Because you answered the phone out of breath like a demon was chasing you. Now, put that grey v-neck on and call it a night.” He says nonchalantly. 

“Okay.”

“With those black pants that you have. You know which ones I’m talking about, it’s warm out so you can go on and bring those bad boys out.” I roll my eyes and pull out the pants anyways. Said pants he was talking about happens to be pants he gave to me a few birthdays ago, shocker. They have a few rips in them, one on my knee and the others scattered along the thigh and leg of them. They happen to be the most comfortable jeans I own since they don’t feel like jeans at all. They have a smooth texture to them and they form around my legs perfectly without giving it a too tight fit. 

I realize I’ve been sounding like a magazine article in my head to keep my mind occupied and I hear Kuroo’s obnoxious laugh filter through the phone. 

“Oh man, this is worse than I thought. How is that you seem more nervous this time than the other times?” He asks amused. 

“I think it more so has to do with the fact that we’ll actually be alone. You know every other time we’re out in public and around other people.” I say and put my phone on speaker to finish getting ready. 

“I’m sure you’ll be perfectly fine my boy. Don’t rush things, just talk to him. He obviously likes you too so make sure you have a good time and don’t stress about mundane things Ushi. That’s always your problem.” He replies seriously. 

“Thanks Kuroo. You always know what to say to put me at ease.” 

“What kind of favorite best friend would I be to let you go through emotional turmoil by yourself,” I hear Bokuto whining in the back and I know exactly what it’s over, but before I can comment on it Kuroo pipes back up, “Well anyways. Be the good pure child I raised you to be, and use protection!” He yells as he hangs up. I huff and toss my phone on the bed making my way to the closet to put my boots on. 

It really is a nice outfit, and I’m sure I would have chose something odd if they hadn’t called to save me. I put my cologne on, grab my phone, and make my way to get my wallet before I head out of the door and I’m off on my way before I can stay at home and dig myself deeper into my mind. I let the breeze of the night wash over me and calm my soul as I make the short trip to his apartment. 

I’m too caught up in my surroundings to notice that I make it to his front step in what feels like 10 seconds, but it was probably 15 minutes for all I know. The walk did me some good and I take a deep breath before I press his buzzer and I’m buzzed in. I make my way up the stairs in record time, no I don’t have the patience for the elevator even though it is 3 flights of stairs, and make it to his door and rap twice. 

I hear a clatter and swearing before he opens the door up gracefully as if I wasn’t supposed to hear any of that. 

“Hello Ushijima. Come on in,” he says slightly out of breath and I smile on my way inside where I take my shoes off and place them by the door. 

“Hi Semi. How has your day been going?” 

“Oh it’s this way and that way, but it’s a lot better now that I’m home.” 

“Yeah, me too. I mean now that I’m here anyways it’s going better.” I’m close to face palming myself for already sounding like a nervous idiot, but I refrain and follow him to the couch where I see he already has a fruit tray laying out. 

“I’ll go on and make the popcorn since you’re here now, you can make yourself comfortable. If you want to look at the movies they’re over there,” I follow his slinger finger to the corner of his living room and see an antique looking bookshelf filled with movies. 

I decide to take his advice and walk over to look at them. I don’t know how I didn’t notice before, but he has multiple bookshelves in here. One is actually built into the wall and two smaller ones are on the side of that and they’re all filled with books, some pictures or decorations frame it but otherwise there are notes scattered across almost every shelf. I want to go over and read every single one of them, but I decide to look at his movies instead. I am almost not surprised to see it filled with classic movies. There are a few I recognize, some aren’t classic at all but rather recent, but mostly all of them are foreign to me. 

I decide blindly on one that I think he will like the most, even though they are his movies not mine, and I make my way to his coffee table to set it down before I make my way to his kitchen. 

“Would you like anything to drink Ushijima?” He asks without turning from his spot. 

“I’ll just have some water, thank you. Do you need any help?” 

“Oh no that’s fine,” he says glancing back with a smile, “you’re a guest so it’s my chance to treat you now.” He opens up his fridge and gets out a water for me. 

“Thank you.” I say taking it away from his offered hand. 

“You don’t need to thank me.” He doesn’t say it spitefully more so just out of habit probably. A nice silence falls over us as I watch him put together a meat and cheese tray. He moves effortlessly, placing each one in a specific spot before putting the cutting board in the sink for him to wash. 

It feels strangely domestic standing here watching him as we get ready for a night of movie watching. The silence is comfortable and I don’t feel nervous at all anymore. That is until he goes to dry his hands off. When he sets his washcloth back his shirt just so happens to slide a little off his shoulder. I tried to ignore the way the shirt settled on his body before, but it seems impossible now. 

It’s a baggy striped shirt that shouldn’t have looked sexy at all, but it sat on his shoulders perfectly. His lithe collarbones peeking out at the top. I can see myself swiping against them to make my way to his neck, how he would shudder under my hands. I can hear his whimper as clear as day in my head. How those legs would feel wrapped around my waist tightly. 

“Alright I think I’m all finished here if you want to help me carry this stuff.” I jump from my spot against his counter at the sound of his voice, and I feel like complete shit thinking this way when we’re doing something so innocent. 

“Of course.” I say pushing off to get the tray from his hands and take it to the living room next to the other one. “These are very nice dishes.” I say as if I wasn’t just thinking of him as being mine. 

“Thank you. I found them in antique stores and couldn’t resist them.” He says conversationally. “Now let’s see what movie you picked out.” He comes up to set the popcorn down picking the movie up. I see his eyes widen slightly and I’m almost certain I chose a horrible movie. 

“This is one of my favorite movies!” He says excitedly glancing over to me, “Ha! Why do you look like that? Really every one of those movies is my favorite Ushi, but I absolutely love any movie with Humphrey Bogart in it.” He says raving on and a flood of relief fills me. 

“That’s good to know. So what is this movie about and who is Humphrey Bogart?” I ask him as he places the movie delicately inside of the player, and I find a spot on the couch. 

“Only one of the greatest movies ever by one of the greatest Actors ever.”

“You know that doesn’t really tell me anything,” I say as he makes his way over to the couch. 

“Yes I know that, what joy would it be if I told you about the movie? He really is one of the greatest actors though, although this isn’t my favorite movie by him. I just like it so much because of the chemistry he has with Lauren Bacall in it.” He says leaning back on the couch a few inches away from me. “You know they fell in love making this movie? When I was younger my mom told me that and I thought all things happened that way.” 

He laughs but I don’t think he meant it as a joke, and if I wouldn’t have been paying attention I would have missed that wistful look that crosses his face. It reminds me of when I first saw him underneath the cherry tree those few years ago. I slide closer to him and wrap my arm around his shoulder just as the title screen pulls up. 

“Maybe things do happen that way Angel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. My hidden aesthetic was Ushijima finally calling Semi by the secret pet name he had for him (angel) and I sweAR I ALMOST FLIPPED EVERY PIECE PF FURNITURE I OWNED. I was so fucking happy so please indulge me


	8. Deja-Vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Semi gets an unwanted guest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m on a roll man, 3 chapters all in one week???? Hold up man. 
> 
> Anyways, this chapter was so good and then some crap popped in my head and anyways. I’m really fucking sorry for this? Hate me all you want to, please put the blame on me.

I had thought having Ushijima over for a night of classic movies would have been innocent enough when I had invited him, but those plans turned into my demise when he came walking in here like he owned my place. I even tried ignoring it. That tingling feeling that lurked deep inside me that used to come out as easy as breathing like it did back in college, but I ignored it. Even when I caught him moments before we sat down looking out into deep thought, when he turned to look at me his pupils filled his eyes and I knew exactly what he was thinking about. I never prided myself on the amount of self control I had until that moment, but when he called me Angel I felt my world stop. 

I’ve had lovers before, or people who have claimed to love me, but that never came with any pet names. Hearing it come out of Ushijima’s mouth feels like it gives my life meaning, and it scares the shit out of me. I try to hide my surprise and face the screen, but I know my face is burning up. My heart is practically beating out of my chest. He chooses not to say anything either, just leans forward to put food on the small plate I had set out. 

His movie choice for tonight was impeccable though, I saw his body language when he was looking and I knew I should have given him a heads up on my movie taste but I couldn’t resist. 

It calms me slightly seeing Bogie on his little sailboat with his witty remarks. Even Ushijima chuckles along with me at some of them, and we sit in silence as we watch continue to watch the film. 

“My favorite parts coming up,” I say leaning into him like it’s some secret, but it’s honestly one of my favorite scenes in any movie. 

“Oh yeah?” He asks interested. 

“Yup. It’s a wonderful scene. See this part when they’re leaving out? Wait until they get into that bar and from then on. It’s all perfect.” He doesn’t reply back to me instead he pulls his eyes back to the screen to watch Bogie and Bacall. 

They just walk into a bar after a particularly rash interrogation to get drinks where they forget that they have no money, and Lauren Bacall decides to search around for someone to seduce. I was young when I first saw this and this particular scene, I’m almost ashamed to admit it, molded into me as I got older. Seeing how sultry yet classy she was in this movie always gave me goosebumps, and when I got older and realized it was her first performance I was speechless. 

I look over to watch Ushijima’s reaction when she goes to pull the mans match to her cigarette to light it, and in the next scene whenever she meets back up at the hotel with the drinks. 

“Sore? Or sour?” Ushijima says amused, “they sure had quite the sayings back then didn’t they?” 

“Ha, yeah they did, and they’re saying sore.” 

“Why would she think he gets upset if he said he didn’t mind her request?” He asks turning his head to mine. I didn’t realize how close we’d gotten and it’s not even halfway through the movie yet. 

“I have no idea Ushi. Maybe that’s just a woman’s logic.”

He laughs at that remark, “Yeah I suppose you’re right. Maybe I should ask a woman’s opinion.”

“I’m sure you could, but then she might get sore.” I smile at him when he laughs and I have to look off to the side to keep me sidetracked. He really is just too beautiful it almost seems unfair how he’s always so put together and poise, and never gets flustered all the time like I do. Although I’d say I am getting better. Until he slides his hand onto my thigh after his fit of laughter, it’s innocent enough just resting slightly above my knee but whenever I zone back into the television to try to keep my mind occupied somehow I see it’s on the kissing scene. 

It’s nothing too risky, but their tension and chemistry is so palpable. They make you feel the want in that kiss and I find my breathing picking up watching this scene with someone I wish to be doing that with right now. 

His hand slides higher up my thigh and I want to push him back on the couch and ravish him, and I almost do just that when I hear Lauren Bacalls sultry voice tell Bogie, “It’s even better when you help.” After he pulls her in for a kiss a second time. Every kiss we shared fills my mind and his hand squeezes my thigh like that’s exactly what he’s thinking about too. I wonder for a second if I should excuse myself. 

“I’ll be right back Ushijima, you don’t have to stop the movie.” I tell him taking my own advice and rushing to my room. After I close the door I gently press my back to it and take a few deep breaths. I’ve seen that movie countless times but this had to be the worst time. I’m sure he wasn’t even aware of what he was doing at first until it actually got to the kiss, and I’m almost 100 percent sure he teased me on purpose after it happened. 

I rush to my bathroom and decide to give Tendou a quick call to calm my nerves, he thankfully answers immediately. 

“What’s going on Semi is everything okay?” He asks rushed, like he’s expecting me to say Ushijima is an ax murderer or something. 

“Yes yes everything’s fine other than me about to pop a boner from watching a classic fucking movie. Shit Tendou, this guy is my worst nightmare. I seriously got horny thinking about kissing him.” I tell him frantically pacing around the small space. 

“So you have a hot babe out there that’s doing who knows what to you and you call to tell me? Oikawa was right about your voyeurism.” I can hear the lilt in his voice and debate on hanging up on him. 

“I can’t stand you guys, and I called to calm my nerves. I’m going back out now, no thanks for your help.”

“Anytime Semi,” He replies enthusiastically, “you have a great time and please try to get laid this attitu-“ I actually do hang up on him this time and put my phone on the dresser before I walk back to the living room. 

“Is everything okay Semi?” He asks with worry in his eyes. 

“Oh, yeah everything’s fine I’m cool.” I say lamely sitting next to him. 

“Are you sure? Your face is a little red.” His olive eyes make it into my line of vision and I hold my breath in at his sudden close proximity. Maybe we should have gone out. All I can think about now is having him in my bed, and I don’t think any Humphrey Bogart movie will take my mind off of that thought. 

“Yeah I’m sure,” I say when I finally learn how to breath again. I glance away because I know my face is heating up more, and I hope that he moves back to watch the movie. He doesn’t. 

“You know,” he says putting his hand on my thigh higher up this time and I feel a lump form in my throat, “you’re beautiful when you’re flustered.” He says like it’s the most natural thing in the world, bringing his other hand up that’s resting on the back of the couch to smooth across my cheek. 

“If you’re goal is to fluster me more then you’re getting somewhere.” My voice comes out breathy, like the only thing on my mind is hot sweaty sex. 

“I can think of easier ways to do that,” his eyes flick to my lips and I part them expectantly. He removes his hand from my cheek to bring my face closer as I flutter my eyes closed. To say I feel like I’m about to combust would be a complete understatement, I feel like the whole world could be burning and I’d still wait here for this man to kiss me. Which I realize is taking forever, and when I go to open my eyes I see him with an awed expression on his face. 

“Really Angel, you’re too beautiful for words.” He murmurs it into the space around us before he brings himself closer to press our lips together. It’s just a soft press, and he backs away before we do anything else. I try to move my face closer, but his hand that was resting on the couch again moves to tug at my hair. 

“I’m not going anywhere Semi, take your time.” He gives me a boyish smile and I want to wipe it off his face. Instead I don’t resist him and just let him take over. Sure enough his lips press against mine softer than the last time, and I swear I see every universe when I close my eyes. A shiver racks up my spine and I should feel embarrassed getting this excited over a small kiss, but I’m not. 

Especially not when he rewards me by tugging me into his lap like I weigh the amount of a feather. I gasp into his mouth and I feel him smile against me. 

“I look forward to every moment I spend with you,” He says backing off slightly, “but this moment right here,” his hands slide down to grip my waist and push me closer to him, “this moment right here. Makes me want to fucking own you.” He growls that last part out lowly and my eyes almost roll to the back of my head at his tone. The affection and pure want, and desire in his eyes when he says it contrast to the way he was pulling me down to rub against his cock. 

My eyes snap shut and a small moan escapes me, and he takes that moment to finally kiss me. His hands slide down to my ass as he swipes his tongue across my bottom lip. I open on instinct and he wastes no time licking into my mouth. It’s slow and fucking dirty as hell, and for a second I really wonder if he is a god because no mere man should be able to kiss this amazing. 

My toes curl into my socks and I try to get some control back by pushing my hands into his chest and breaking us apart. A string on saliva follows me down on my path to his jawline, and I kiss right in the dip between that and his neck. It’s always such a beautiful spot to kiss to get a reaction out of and it doesn’t fail me this time when I feel a low rumble. I slide my tongue across to his Adam’s apple and leave open mouth kisses along it until I make my way to his collarbone. This is what I’ve been waiting on, his collarbones always screamed as if it wanted me to put marks along it and that’s exactly what I do. 

I tilt my head slightly to get a better angle, and I loosen my hands from the grip on his shirt and slide them until they’re right at his nipples. I suck along his collar and then bite lightly as I tug his nipples. 

“Fuck Semi.” I rarely hear Ushijima swear and hearing it in this moment makes me feel completely empowered. I kiss my way to the other side and when I go to leave another open mouth kiss he grasps my hair and tugs my head back. Saliva drips from my tongue, and I see his pupils dilate even more and he gets harder against me. 

“Why’d you stop me?” I ask bringing my hand up to play with his neck. I wipe my mouth and his eyes fluttered closed, and I feel him take him a deep breath. “Ushijima,” his eyes snap back open and they almost look black and I get a thrill out of it, “I asked you a question and you didn’t answer me. I said why’d you stop me?” I’m mentally cheering myself on in my head for getting that out with so much authority, especially to such a dominant man. His eyes widen like he didn’t know I had it in me, and he looks as if he’s trying to formulate words. “Ah, that’s okay Ushijima. I guess I’ll just have to put your mouth to good use since you can’t speak.” 

I smash my lips against his, and bite his lower lip until he gasps and I slide my tongue into his mouth. I forgot how good it felt to be in control. I wrap my hands in his shirt again and tug like we could get any closer. I turn my head slightly to deepen the kiss and the smell of his cologne or shampoo fills my nose when I breath in, and it was like fuel. I suck on his tongue when he tries to lick into my mouth and I get a groan in response. I try to see how much I can get out of him by grinding myself down on him and tugging his nipples. 

I let out a squeal when I get more than a response, and he stands up easily like he doesn’t have me in his arms. “I didn’t want this to go any further since I really like you, but your testing my control.” Instead of walking us into the room I find my back pressed against the wall and I hold onto his shoulders for support. “You want to test me Semi?”

It’s not really a question, or at least I think it’s not. I see, and feel, the clear intention he’s giving me and for a second I wonder if I should actually give over to temptation. It was a fleeting thought. 

“I want you any way I can have you Ushijima. This won’t change how I feel about you,” I answer truthfully. The sound of my door unlocking makes both of our heads snap towards it. It couldn’t be Oikawa or Tendou, they would have called me first. I suddenly remember that I left my phone on my dresser and that there could indeed be an emergency, but the person that comes around the corner instead makes my blood boil. Ushijima sets me down carefully, but my legs still shake. My whole body shakes with rage. 

_“What the fuck are you doing here Lev?!”_ Ushijima’s head snaps to mine clearly taken off guard with the anger in my voice. Lev has the gall to stand their looking sheepish. Like he has any fucking right being here. 

“I talked to Oikawa, he told me you were still here,” he looks down at his feet, “Ah, I didn’t think you had company though. Did you get my letter?” He asks clearly ignoring the fact that I had company and that we were clearly in the middle of something. 

“You fucking left me Lev, you _stupid stupid_ man!” I yell storming up to him, I hate to put Ushijima in this predicament but my body seems to be moving on auto pilot after years and years of built of frustration, and I can’t seem to stop everything from spilling out. 

“You fucking _LEFT ME!_ You broke my heart! How dare you come in here as if this is your place, like you belong in _MY LIFE_ anymore!” He snaps back as if I slapped him and I wish I fucking could. I wish he could have came in here and that I would have felt absolutely nothing when I saw the hurt in his eyes by seeing Ushijima holding me up against the wall like he once did. “You have no right being here anymore.”

“This is still my place and if I want to be here then I can be here,” He says standing his ground, “and who is this guy?” 

Ushijima walks up to my side and wraps his hand around my shoulder, “It’s none of your damn business, and don’t make it seem like you live here when you’ve been gone for _4 fucking years!_ Where were you when I was struggling?! Just get out Lev.” I say exasperated. 

“You can tell me to get out, but I’m still going to be with you. Pretend with this guy all you want, but what we had will always be here.” He says backing away. 

“ _Get OUT!_ ” He gives me a smirk and turns around to walk out. Why didn’t I change the locks? I ask myself as he walks out. Why is he here? Why is he doing this? Why!? Just why? I feel the tears spring to my eyes before I can stop them and I run to my room to find my phone, ignoring Ushijima trying to talk to me. I find the name as fast as I opened my phone and he’s picking up sounding as cheery as if he didn’t ruin my fucking life. 

“Hello Semi,” comes Oikawa’s voice through the phone. 

“What the _fuck_ did you tell Lev, Tooru?!” He’s clearly taken off guard because he remains quiet. I hear Iwaizumi questioning him before I hear his bed springs and he’s closing a door. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Semi. He showed up at the bookstore before you even met Ushi, what happened?” The worry is clear in his voice, but I don’t hold in my anger. 

“You had no right, _NO_ right telling him anything about me! You know what...what he did to me and you _spoke_ to him anyways!” I feel myself breaking into a cold sweat and my body is still shaking with rage I shouldn’t be feeling. I hate myself for feeling this way, and I hang the phone up instead of listening to his excuses. It’s always fucking excuses. Every time my life starts going in the right direction stupid shit happens, it’s always been that way. 

“Semi.” Ushijima says from the door. There’s pity in his voice and I can’t bring myself to look at him with these tears in my eyes. I look like a wreck and I know it. 

“Just go Ushijima. I’m sorry, but just go.” My voice comes out broken and horse and I feel the tears coming and I know it won’t stop. I wait until I hear him move from his spot and I fall to the floor and break down. 

“If you think I’m going to leave with you like this, then you don’t know me Semi. Come here.” I hear him say over my tears as he picks me up and lays me in bed. He goes to turn off the lights and pulls me into his chest when he gets in bed. 

“You don’t have to talk, don’t do anything. Just let it out, and I’ll be here when you wake up.”

He sounds so honest that I almost believe him, but I’ve always been told that shit. I’ve always been told they’d never leave, and it sounds so good hearing it from that deep raspy voice. I believe him so much that I cry harder into his shirt. I sob for what feels like years and when I calm down enough I feel myself too tired to speak and I lull myself into a sleep filled with nightmares of green eyes.


	9. Stigma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s only that I’m very sorry towards you  
> Again, cry because I couldn’t protect you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter y’all. Okay. Like??????? Yeah, I have no excuses. Everything is starting to come to light and I’m breaking down with it. 
> 
> My tags are changing, my life is changing everything is changing lol. 
> 
> In case you haven’t noticed either my chapter titles are not clever, but I’m witty and I legit listened to Stigma on repeat while writing this and I sobbed like a bitch. So feel my pain while you read this.   
> (ToT)

I wake up the next morning to a phone constantly vibrating and an empty bed. I look around confused before I remember what happened last night. I wipe my eyes and stretch out before I go to find Semi. It’s quiet even before I walk out of the room. The bathroom door is open and the lights are off, and as I walk out the place is clear of everything that happened last night. 

I’d never once witnessed somebody as enraged as Semi was, and although I was curious about what had happened I wouldn’t have dared asking him. It was none of my business, but I couldn’t bare leaving him alone especially when I saw him break down and cry on his floor. I wonder how many times he’s done that in life. How many people he constantly had around him that would help him, but he chose to find comfort crying alone in his apartment. 

I had seen countless people cry in front of me before. I was there with Kuroo the night he found out his mother passed away and he cried for 3 hours straight, but still nothing prepared me for the emotions that I felt seeing those beautiful eyes cloud up because of a person who left him. A person who was clearly unworthy of such a beautiful mans love. I feel a different kind of rage feel my body. Something that takes ahold of me, and that wants to protect Semi at all cost. 

The vibrating of a phone sounds throughout the small apartment and I glance around again to see no sight of him before I go to check it. Tendou’s name shines on the screen and it turns off before I can answer it. It lights back up just as fast as it went off but it reads Oikawa this time. I debate on if I should answer his call because of how he reacted to him last night, and I answer anyways only because of Semi’s safety. 

“Hello.” 

“Oh,” he sounds shocked but covers it up quickly, “hi Ushijima. Where’s Semi at?” The discomfort is clear in his voice. 

“I don’t know, I just woke up and he was gone.” 

“You stayed the night over there?” He asks that question, but I hear what he really wants to ask clearly. 

“Yes I did. As if I was going to leave him in the rut that he was in.” He’s quiet for a while and I debate on if he heard me or not or if I went to far in my accusations. I didn’t say anything hurtful at all, but I feel defensive after what I witnessed last night.

“Did he...did he tell you anything?”

“No and I didn’t ask. I just stayed with him so he wouldn’t feel alone.” I try to keep the malice out of my voice but I feel my irritation rising. 

“Okay Ushi. Well when he gets back home can you please have him give me a call?”

“I’ll see what I can do Oikawa.” We hang up the phone and I debate on calling Tendou back. I go to his phone book, and just as I’m about to call him I hear the rattle of the front door. I round the corner just in time to see said person. Tendou, unlike Oikawa, doesn’t hide his shock easily. 

“Ushijima? What’re you doin’ here? Semi let you stay the night?” He asks curiously. 

“Well he didn’t let me per se, but something came up last night and I refused to let him stay by himself.” He seems pleased with my statement. I, for some reason, want Tendou to accept me. Semi told me he’d been friends with him since they were younger so his opinion means a lot to me. That’s not to say Oikawa’s does not, I have absolutely nothing against him, but I know how much Kuroo’s advice means to me so I understand completely where Semi comes from. 

“Ah...Yeah, that jerk showed up last night. I can’t believe Oikawa. The nerve of him.” I keep quiet because I have no intention of saying anything. I can’t say anything, I have no idea what happened to him to put my input in on anything. 

“Well anyways, I came to cheer him up with some new teas I got. Can I go see him?” He asks for my permission as if this is my apartment. 

“Umm, Ha. I don’t see why you need to ask me that, I’m sure you have more living space here than I do, but he’s not here. I just woke up a few minutes ago and he was gone.” I tell him.  
He seems taken aback by that answer and I start to feel anxious. 

“Did he tell you anything last night? Before he went to sleep or anything? Did he seem okay? Well never mind don’t answer that, of course he wasn’t okay.” He starts pacing and says all of that more so to himself. 

“Uh no. I made sure to stay up before he went to sleep and he didn’t say anything. He just cried. I even stayed up until about one and he didn’t wake up any.” I answer honestly. 

He stops in his pacing and stares at me, “You stayed up until one? What time did he go to sleep?” 

“Umm, I’d say about 10-ish?”

“You stayed up until _one in the morning_ and he went to sleep around 10?” He asks as if it’s the most unnatural thing in the world. 

“Yeah? I usually go to sleep at that time anyways, so it was no big deal.” 

“Did anything happen last night Ushi-jima~?” His abrupt change of tone catches me off guard. 

“Uh. No. Nothing at all.” I barely glance away and that obviously didn’t get past him because he laughs out loud. 

“Oh Ushi,” He says walking to the kitchen to finally set the bag down, “you’re so easy to read. I hope someone’s told you that before.” Kuroo actually tells me that all the time, but he has a freakish sixth sense that no one else catches onto, and I’m now placing Tendou into the same category. 

“So what happened? Go on you can tell me, unless you have to get goin’ then I won’t stop you.” He says conversationally making him some coffee. 

“No, I’m off today.” I tell him going to sit into the chair at Semi’s bar. 

“Good good. Then you can tell me about last night also.” He turns serious just as quick as he was witty and it throws me completely off. This guy is someone to watch out for, he puts me off more than Kuroo ever does. 

“Yeah. Okay. Well we were watching To have and Have not, and we might have.. Well we were kissing, and that’s when that Lev guy walked in here and everything just went south from there.” I recount the story to him, leaving out some parts obviously to save myself from the embarrassment. 

“What did Lev say?” I feel like I’m somewhat in an interrogation but I’m sure if Semi was here then he would have already recounted everything back to him as soon as he walked in. 

“Nonsense really, if you ask me, but he said this was still his place and that what they had will always be real.” I cringe just saying that. It was honestly cliched, and I could only imagine how grimy it made Semi feel. 

“The nerve of that fucking guy. I’ll let Semi tell you whatever he wants to tell you, if and when he chooses to tell you. But let me tell you something Ushijima,” He says leaning against the counter. His voice sends a chill down my spine, and not in a good way at all. “If you hurt Eita in any type of way it won’t be him you have to worry about, or Oikawa or even Iwaizumi. It’s going to be me. I’ve been rooting for you since I’ve met you, he’s been through too much shit for you to just want to get something out of him and leave.” 

“I wouldn’t have even thought about doing that with him, I’ve already done things with him that I haven’t with any one else.” I say instantly. He looks at me for a few seconds until he hums his acknowledgment. 

“Okay okay. Now. How about you tell me the rest of that story? Don’t be shy. You want some coffee also?” He asks casually. My face heats up because of course he’d know I left some parts out. 

“No thank you, and Tendou, I don’t-“ the sound of the door unlocking saves me and I thank whatever being is out there for looking out for me. 

Semi rounds the corner a few seconds later looking as if he didn’t sleep a wink last night, or maybe that just has to deal with the backlash of crying. He looks surprised to still see me here and even more so when he glances to see Tendou against the counter. 

“Hey Semisemi, I brought you some new tea.” Tendou says with a bright smile. Semi tries to return it but it looks sad and I feel a pain shoot to my heart. 

“Thanks Tendou, I’ll try it out later. I’m going to take a shower guys.” His voice is terribly broken and when he passes by the smell of the Earth fills my nostrils. As if he’s been walking around for who knows how long trying to clear his head. He didn’t wait for a response at all, just goes to his room and closes his door. 

“Well Ushi-chan let’s watch tv shall we?” Tendou doesn’t sound like he exactly wants to watch tv, but I follow him to the couch anyways where we watch some show about an overturned princess and dragons. I’m not into it at first, but then the second episode comes on and I find myself very interested. It’s about halfway into the show when I hear the shower turn off and the bathroom door slam shut. The walls are more than paper thin, so it was obviously enough to catch our attention. 

“Should you go check on him?” I ask when we hear drawers slam shut one after the other. 

“I...” He brings his hand up and starts biting his nail, “I don’t know what to do Ushi.” The vulnerability in his voice almost shatters me. I get a flashback to the time Kuroo found me in my dorm with bottles surrounding me, “I don’t know what to do with you Waka.” He told me. I was broken and I caused my friends to be broken. Seeing that made me into who I am now, but Semi suffered alone while Tendou and Oikawa were along picking up pieces that didn’t get put back together. How long had they struggled together? “Where were you when I was struggling?” His hurt and malice rings through my ears again. I can see his chocolate eyes melting into a sea of tears, his shoulders shaking. 

I get off the couch and walk with purpose to Semi’s room only to find the door locked. “Open the door Semi.” I say quietly. I know he heard me because he stops his ransacking throughout the room. He doesn’t answer me though. 

“Eita. Open the door now.” I say with a little more force. 

“I can’t, I can’t see you right now Ushijima.” His small voice filters through the cracks, I feel it shoot straight to my heart and I don’t know why it does. We haven’t nearly known each other that long, what did I expect? 

“Semi, just open the door up for us please.” Tendou says from beside me. When he got next to me I have no idea, maybe caught up too long in my thoughts to notice. I hear the floor board creak and we look down to see his shadow right behind the door. 

“Eita please.” Tendou pleads. There’s a huff right before he unlocks the door and swings it open. He’s still wrapped up in his towel, his hair which is still wet is sticking up in different directions as if he was pulling at it. I glance around his room to see that it’s in the same shape as it was when I left it except for a newly formed pile in the corner. From here it looks like clothes and books and different pieces of paper lying on the ground. 

“What? What do you want?” He spits towards us. 

“Semi don’t do this. We just wanted to see if you were okay, we heard-“

“Yeah I’m sure you did,” he says mockingly interrupting Tendou. The irritation clear in his voice, “look how about you guys just go. I don’t need your fucking pity right now.”

“Semi...” I try to convene but the look he gives me when he glances at me stops me dead in my tracks. It’s a look that would have froze anybody. His eyes that are always so full of life, such a mystery to me, are now like a void. He gave me the same look last night when I had him hoisted up against the wall, but now there’s no emotion, no shine to it, nothing. It’s as if he’s a completely different person. 

“Ushijima. Oh Ushijima,” his voice sounds sickeningly sweet and it makes my stomach turn, “you want to make me feel better, Yeah?” He walks his fingers up my shirt and I grab them before he can go any further. 

“No. You’re not in your right mind right now Semi, and I won’t take advantage of you in any way.” 

That clearly wasn’t the response that he was looking for, as if he wanted me to be the bad guy and do whatever I wanted to him and that thought makes me sick because I was once like that. He yanks his hand out of mine and turns away like he was burned. 

“Get out both of you.”

“Semi-“

“ _Get out!_ ” There’s pain in his scream as it echoes across each wall. I look at Tendou to see he looks as broken as I feel, he shakes his head and then walks off. I debate about following him. We really shouldn’t leave Semi like this, but maybe being alone after what happened last night is what he needs. I’ll stop by tomorrow morning before work just in case, I tell myself as I walk to the door with Tendou after grabbing our belongings. 

“He’s never been this bad, I don’t know Ushi-chan. I’ll call Oikawa, but I don’t think he should be the one to come over here.” He tells me as we walk down the stairs pulling his phone out of his pocket. 

“What about his parents? My mom helped me out a lot before she ended up getting sick. Maybe he should take a break.” I tell him hopefully giving good advice, but he stops in his track on his phone. 

“Uh,” He glances to the side biting his lip, “His parents passed away about 6 years ago when he was in college. A drunk driver.” I want to slam myself into a wall. I wish I had said something else anything else. I’m relieved I said that to Tendou instead of Semi though, but it still makes me feel like a big pile of shit. 

“Oh...no, well I’m sorry. I don’t I didn’t know.” I say remorseful and he just pats me on my back. 

“It’s okay Ushijima you didn’t know, don’t beat yourself up about it. That’s probably where he went this morning.” A sad smile paints his face as he says it and it still doesn’t make me feel any better. 

“Let’s see. If you want to just come over my house you can. I’m sure Oikawa will be there, so we can just wait it out and talk.” He says. 

“Ah. That’s okay, I think I’ll just go on home. Thank you for the offer though.” 

“Okay that’s fine. Here, get my number just in case.” He says raising his phone up. I take mine out and we exchange numbers and then we part ways when we make it out to the street. 

“Alrighty, be safe Ushi-chan and get some sleep.” He says as we part ways. 

“Thanks Tendou.” I walk away and debate on going home or if I should meet up at Bokuto’s. He’s great company for when you’re feeling down, he doesn’t say anything at all he just knows the perfect way to comfort you. My feet guide me along the way. I don’t pay attention to my surroundings at all. The sky is grey and ugly, it should be raining soon. If the weather never reflected my mood before it sure as hell is now. 

There aren’t many people out, which doesn’t surprise me at all. Who would want to be out in weather like this. That’s all I do for about 30 minutes, I just walk around thinking about nothing in particular. I know I’m in a terrible mood because I still feel like something’s weighing on me. I have a terrible cloud hanging over my head, and I don’t know what I should do to clear it. 

 

When I come to my senses I see I’m standing in front of Kuroo’s place instead. I’m just about to turn around and head back to my place when I hear his door unlocking. 

“Hey Ushijima. Kenma saw you from his spot on the couch. He thought you were a burglar.” He jokes opening up the door for me. I turn around and walk in and go to the kitchen.

“So you open the door up for me. If it was a burglar they would have been thankful.” I scoff. 

“Yeah yeah. What brings you over here?” He questions, “how was your date?”

“I’d hardly call that a date anymore,” I say reluctantly, “it was going perfect it really was. He had all these classic movies and he had everything set up so nicely. Then some prick from his past showed up and ruined everything, and I use that lightly. If I’m honest he fucked everything up.” His eyes widen more and more as I go along with the story telling him everything that happened. 

“Wow UshiWaka.” Is all he can say. 

“Yeah.” I get up from my spot and go to the cabinet he hides his stash in. It’s usually for special occasions, and I’d say this is memorable enough. His hand covers mine as I take the shot glass down. 

“I understand where you’re coming from Wakatoshi, honestly. If that happened any with Kenma it would stick with me also, but don’t do this. You can’t do this again.” I roll my eyes at him. 

“I’m not going to go into a drinking stupor again Tetsu, I just need to relax after everything that happened last night. I’m right here.” I say removing his hand and filling the glass up. I tip back the contents and let the slow burn fill my throat. I close my eyes and savor the taste before I close the bottle and put it back. I walk to the sink and wash my glass out and when I turn around I come face to face with Kenma, and stop dead in my tracks. 

 

It’s one thing dealing with Kuroo, but Kenma rarely ever puts his input on anything. Choosing instead to sit back and observe his surroundings or people. 

“What did this guy look like?” He asks staring at me. 

“Uhh. He was a couple of inches taller than me, but he was thin with green eyes. Almost like a cat, and he had grey hair.” I say describing what I remember. It may not be exactly right, but I see clear recognition cross his face. 

“Hmm.” He turns around to go back to his spot on the couch and I follow his retreating form. Kuroo comes back in a few minutes later holding a picture it seems. 

“What was that about?” I ask him signaling to Kenma, “and what’s that?” He sets the picture down and I bend over to examine it. My eyes shoot straight to those slanted green eyes and I snap my head back to Kuroo, “Where’d you get this?” 

“Kenma thought he recognized him when you were talking. You know he knows Semi. They knew each other at Shiratorizawa, they weren’t close or anything but they saw each other enough to get aquatinted,” he goes on explaining, “Well. This Lev guy,” he says pointing at the faded picture, “was Semi’s fiancée.” 

All the color drains from my face and I suddenly regret taking that shot. I feel the bile raising in my throat and I have to close my eyes and take a few breaths to calm myself. This guy was Semi’s _fiancée_?

“His Fiancée? How? What?” I ask dumbfounded. My earlier thoughts on not wanting to know anything fade away as I’m struck with this information. The sadness that I was feeling quickly morphs into anger. How can this piece of shit leave him and then come back out of nowhere? For _four years!_

“I thought I heard of him before also. He sounded familiar. You took that year off after your injury and he joined the team,” he reminds me. Of course I wouldn’t have known that because I never stepped foot inside that gym during and after that time. 

“He was only on it for a couple of months or so, anyways he left way before nationals. I can’t pinpoint exactly when, we just thought he quit.” He finishes. I feel like I’ve been living in a bubble this whole time. Kenma knows Semi and Kuroo knows of Lev. That means Bokuto knew him also, I don’t doubt that for a second he makes himself known to everyone. Just how many times did I cross paths with him? When both of us were going through things. Why was Semi going to marry him and he was so young? That’s absolutely none of my business, but yet I still can’t stop every single question that springs to mind. 

“Come on Ushi. Let’s sit down, just watch something and calm your head.” He tells me guiding me by the arm to one of his recliners. They have it on some show about the universe. Kenma of course is playing his game. It feels like old times minus Bokuto and Akaashi laying on the floor in front of us. I can almost trick myself that everything is as it used to be and that alone relaxes me. 

“-jima, Ushijima. _Hey UshiWaka!_ ” Kuroo says louder shaking me. I didn’t even realize I fell asleep, I guess that’s what happens when you only get 5 hours of sleep. 

“Yeah?” I question after clearing my throat and I get up stretching myself before walking to get a glass of water. He trudges along behind me. 

“Hey you just got a call from a Tendou, he asked if you could go up to the bookstore.” My ears perk up at that. 

“How long ago?” 

“Um, about 5 minutes ago when I was just trying to wake you.” He follows me to the front where I slip my shoes on, and he does the same. 

“Where are you going?” I ask him and he looks at me like I just asked the most rhetorical question. 

“Well where else would I be going Wakatoshi? I’m obviously going with you. Who knows what you’re walking yourself into.” He says exasperated opening the door up. He yells goodbye to Kenma and closes the door and locks it. 

The sun hits my eyes as soon as I walk out, and I have to squint until we turn the corner and we’re making our way to the store. My stomach still feels heavy, and I have an anxious feeling settling on me. Kuroo’s hand comes to rest on my back like he can feel my anxiety tainting the air around us. It’s chipper outside now, more than it was earlier today. The clouds have passed, but I feel as if we’re walking right into the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note: these guys don’t deserve this. I hope I know what I’m doing with this because I have no idea where it’s going or why I even put ya through this emotional turmoil. All I know is that I’m on a roll with this fic and I can’t seem to stop myself from continuing.


	10. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Semi gets a push in the right direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don’t know how I feel about this chapter?? I had it done about a day ago and I sat on it hoping I could think of something better for it, but alas things don’t always go as planned. 
> 
> I do have major hope for this next chapter though so don’t criticize me too much for this one (个_个)

The ball slams against the wall once and then twice before I go to pick it up and do the same thing over and over and over again. I’ve tried everything to keep my mind occupied. I went to talk to mom and dad whenever I got too tired of tossing and turning. I watched Ushijima’s sleeping form before I left. He looked so at peace like he always does, but with sleep overtaking him he looked exceptionally beautiful. I wondered for a split second if he would be gone when I decide to come back. 

I felt like I had just started getting my life back. The bookstore was getting more attention, Ushijima came storming into my life giving me exactly what I needed without even knowing it, and I had Tendou and Oikawa by me like always. It was going perfect, so to say, and that should have been my warning. 

The last time I had saw him was the end of December, it was right before the new year. It was an achingly beautiful day. The snow had just fallen, but the cold didn’t stop every one from coming outside. We threw snowballs and made countless lopsided snowman and snow angels before going inside to warm ourselves with coffee and bourbon. It was like this every December ever since we got to college. The same routine that we seemed to never get tired of, or that I never got tired of. He let on nothing. The next morning when I woke up, after drowning ourselves in each other the night before, he was gone. 

To say I was in love with him was an understatement. Lev could make anybody like him. He was a sweet and tender man despite his looks, and when he asked me to marry him on that autumn day I saw no point in refusing. 

“We don’t have to rush it,” he said, “we can wait until after Graduation, but there’s nobody else I’d rather be with than you.” It was the most beautiful lie I had ever heard till this day and I tricked myself into believing he truly did want me after he was gone. 

Afterwards, I drowned myself in others who didn’t want me. I manipulated people the same exact way I had been manipulated and it gave me a sick satisfaction until Oikawa sat down to talk to me. He was the last person who should have done it considering he and Iwaizumi were the main ones who indulged me, but I took his advice and chose to lock myself in my room or library. 

The ball slams against the wall again and tears fill my eyes for the umpteenth time today. I had refused to stay in that house. Instead choosing to leave when I had kicked Tendou and Ushijima out. The memories I chose to hide away and forget about dug themselves back up when he thought he had the right to crawl back inside of that house. I suddenly remembered every piece of old furniture we had. The glasses we shared out of. That oversized bed that two people had no right to have, but “imagine the things I could do to you in it” he whispered into my ear when we were in that store. We bought it that day. 

The ball slips from my hands and I watch it roll against the wall. My sniffles are heard throughout the gym and I’m lucky that no one is here at this time, except for the people who work here who chose to stay in their office instead. 

“Semi?” Or so I thought. The voice sounds vaguely familiar except it has an underlying tone of sadness to it that I usually never hear. I wipe my face on my shirt before turning around to face him. 

“Hello Kawanishi. I didn’t expect you to be here today.” I say. I know I look and sound terrible but I choose to ignore that fact anyways. I knew today was Ushijima’s day off, so I had expected Kawanishi to not be here either. 

“I usually come here on my off days when I have nothing to do.” He tells me. 

“Ah, okay. Well I think I’m going to get going. I’ll see you around.” I walk to pick the ball back up and when I turn to go to the locker rooms he speaks back up again. 

“Hey are you okay? Did something happen with Ushijima?”

“Huh? Oh, no, not at all. I’m fine we’re fine,” I try to give him my best smile but I know I fail miserably when he just stares right at me. I choose to walk away instead of trying to justify myself, but I stop about halfway there when I still feel his eyes on me. 

“Actually Kawanishi.” I turn around to face him, “you wanna do some set ups with me?” The best thing to do is keep myself busy, and I refuse to step back inside that place so soon. 

“Yeah, we can do that.” 

So that’s what we do. I have no idea how long we stay there passing sets and spikes to each other, sometimes changing to just do receives before we serve some across the net. He doesn’t pester me with any questions, and doesn’t give me any pitying looks whenever I feel the angry tears spring to my eyes and I’m grateful for that. 

“Hey you wanna go to this park? It has a great vendor there,” He asks from our spot against the wall where we’ve been taking a break. 

“Yeah sure I’ll go with you. I’m not really hungry though,” I say reaching my hand up to his so he can help me up. 

“That’s fine.” He doesn’t say anything more and we head to the locker rooms where we gather our stuff and head out. 

“I hate to ask this of you,” we just made it around the corner when I decide to speak up, “but could you please not tell Ushijima I’m with you if he asks anything.” That seems to catch him off guard. I saw the falter in his step even if I kept my gaze ahead of me. 

“If that’s what you want then I will, but you have to tell me why.” He says when he gets his composer back. 

“I suppose I can. It has nothing to do with him. I just need time alone and I rather not be weighed down or weigh anyone else down right now.” I left the house not telling anyone where I was going. My phone is still in the same spot it was when I tossed it this morning after my shower. 

That fit of rage that I had towards Ushijima and Tendou. They had absolutely nothing to do with it, if anything I should have been thanking Ushijima but I lashed out in order to protect myself. 

“Okay.” He says after a moment of silence. He seems to be in deep thought afterwards and I choose not to say anything, and we continue like that until we get to the park. 

It’s a small little park, not like the one by my house. It has a little fountain and by that is the vendor I guessed he was talking about. There are mostly trees surrounding the area, but you can see a playground nestled into the forestry of it. It’s a peaceful place. The one next to me is always bustling with people, families and runners and the occasional cyclist. Unlike this one where we seem to be the only people here. I stand off to the side and wait for Kawanishi to get his cone. 

“You know I’ve been talking to Tendou,” He says after we make our way to the swing set. He has a strawberry ice cream in hand and he laughs out loud when I turn my wide eyes to him. “No need to look so shocked Semi.” He says wiping his smirk off his face. 

“I’m more shocked because of the fact that he didn’t tell me,” I answer truthfully. He smiles at that and it’s beautiful. He usually has a flat expression so seeing his eyes light up along with that small smile makes me notice what Tendou sees in him. 

“There are a lot of things we don’t tell people.” That small smile is still on his face when he says it and I hum my acknowledgment instead of choosing to say anything because he’s right. 

I look back in front of me and start to swing. I haven’t been on a swing set in forever and when I sway my legs to go higher and higher I realized why I always loved it so much. Kawanishi joins me a little while later after finishing his cone, and we swing together like that for a while laughing like little kids and I almost forget my life problems. I almost forget the nagging feeling that Lev will be at home when I show up, that I will run Ushijima off, that I’ll never get to experience anything because I worry too much about mundane things. 

“You know,” he starts whenever we slow down, “I don’t know what you’re going through or if I even relate to it but you’re not alone Semi.” He pauses and looks up to the sky kicking some of the dirt beneath our feet, “you know, I’ve seen you on the verge of tears all day and maybe...maybe what you need to do is let go.” I lean back and look up at the sky with him. I know he’s right, but I spent 4 years doing exactly that. Crying and screaming and crying more and I can’t bring myself to cry over Lev anymore. 

“Of course that’s just my opinion.” He adds getting my attention again. After a long moment of silence with us just watching the trees blow with the wind, I suddenly feel everything spring to my head that I tried to forget. That I still try to forget. 

“I was married,” I say out loud, it brings a small smile to my face. He whips his head towards me but I look up at that sky like it’s my lifeline. “Well I was going to be married,” I say reluctantly, “I was deeply and irrevocably in love. We had been together for years and I had told myself that I’d never love anyone the way I loved him.” He sits there and watches me as I try to get the words out. 

I’ve never spoken to anyone about my and Lev’s relationship, only with Tendou and Oikawa but that’s only because it was natural for me to tell them everything. Kawanishi has the kind of aura that makes me comfortable and safe though, like I could tell him anything and he won’t judge me at all. 

“He seemed to not think the same way though, he was good at not letting me onto anything. I don’t know if it was the pressure coming down on him, or if he fell out of love with me, but I woke up one day and he was just gone. I told myself he’d be back, that our love was strong enough to survive. I would have took him back in a heartbeat and that alone scared me. It made me terrified.” The tears well up in my eyes and I look to the ground instead. 

“He made sure to leave some things behind. The occasional notes we used to leave each other. The books I had gotten him, I had told him they reminded me of him. I never knew if he read them or not, but that was the only way I knew how to express my love. He had left shirts I loved sleeping in, and I came to the conclusion that I hated him to his very bones.” My voice is broken and the tears slide down my cheeks and I don’t stop them. Instead I choose to hold my head in my hands and give over to them, I savor them. 

I should be embarrassed crying in public, sitting next to someone I barely know giving out deep secrets I wished I never remembered, but I don’t. I feel invigorated and free, and I cry just a little bit harder until I hear the creak of the swing and feel arms wrapping around me. He smells like sweat and deep forests and the strawberry ice cream he was just eating, and I turn my face into his shirt and continue to let the sobs wreck through my body until I have nothing left to cry. 

“I won’t say it’s okay Semi,” he puts his hands on my cheeks and turns my face up to him after I calmed down a little, “thats fucking terrible and I couldn’t imagine going through that.” The sincerity in his voice makes tears spring to my eyes, and he wipes them away as they fall, “but Ushijima isn’t him. He won’t do that to you.” 

“You’re his friend, you’re supposed to tell me something like that.” I say spitefully, “How do you know he won’t?” I search his eyes after I tell him that and wait for his response. 

“Well I don’t know if he won’t,” he answers truthfully, and I laugh bitterly in spite of myself. 

“Of course you don’t Kawanishi,” I snap and jerk my head out of his hands. “Nobody knows anything. I could give Ushijima the whole damn universe and that wouldn’t stop him from leaving me if I ever told him I loved him.” 

“ _Tch_. You obviously don’t want to be coddled then Semi.” The abrupt change in his tone makes me whip my head up to him. 

“Now wait a minute-“

“- _No Semi_ ,” he interrupts, “it’s time for you to listen to me,” he snaps back. His voice is full of an authority I didn’t think he consumed and it sends goose flesh along my arms, “I’ve sat here with you almost all day. I’ve seen you cry, I’ve seen you try to put on a fake smile and I’ve listened to you and I tried to talk to you, and you know what all of that has shown me?” He questions but it’s not really posed as a question. 

“You’ve given up on yourself completely, you’ve shut down. You think that because something that happened to you years ago will happen again with someone else if you go through with it,” he stands up just a little bit taller when he says it and it pisses me off. The fact that he’s right pisses me off. There’s no smug tone in his voice everything he states he says it matter of factly as if he’s gone through this same thing. 

“When I tell you Ushijima won’t do that to you believe me. Believe in somebody Semi,” he says as he squats down to eye level with me, “I may not know if he’ll hurt you or not, or if he’s even the one for you or not, but I know him Semi. Believe in somebody.” 

More tears come just when I seemed to have stopped them and I hate myself for being so vulnerable. I feel so weak right now, but Kawanishi seemed to have slapped something awake inside of me because for once I actually trust someone else’s words. Someone that’s not Tendou or Oikawa that tell me exactly what I need to hear, but someone that was the last person I would have found comfort in and he knew that but still chose to open my eyes. 

“Thank you Kawanishi.” I say still sniffling and raising my head up towards his. 

“Anytime Semi,” He gives me a bright smile and shakes his head and stands up to his full height to stretch out. “Now, do you want to go to this little cafe?” He asks whenever I stand up beside him. 

“Yeah sure.” 

“Are you actually going to eat something?” He retorts. 

“Ha, yeah I’ll try to even though I still don’t have an appetite.” I joke to him as we make our way out of the park. It’s getting close to the early evening time and I debate if I should just tell him I’m going home instead. I haven’t been there since this morning, and I haven’t talked to Tendou or Oikawa and I’m positive their worried about me. 

“You know I can always walk you back home Semi,” he says seeming to pick up on my thoughts, “I only invited you because it seemed as if you didn’t want to go home yet.” He’s absolutely right. I’d probably get piss poor drunk if I was at home right now which doesn’t seem like a bad idea. 

“No that’s okay,” I say instead of vocalizing my toxic thoughts, “I haven’t been out in a while.” I give him a small smile and that seems to satisfy him for the moment and we continue on our path to the cafe he mentioned. 

We go the same way we did when we were leaving the gym and we pass it up a few meters before walking into a coffee shop that’s just a few minutes away from the bookstore. I had never known this place existed, but it looks terribly familiar. 

I give the small blonde my order when we walk up to the register, just a chai latte, and Kawanishi gives him hers, two sandwiches of some sort that he points to behind the counter and a small water before we pay and wait at the other side of the register. 

“ _Hey Hey Hey Kawanishi!_ ” The voice echoes throughout the quaint cafe. He seems to grimace beside me and I wonder if he knows this guy or not. He has impressive grey and black hair that sticks up and big golden eyes. He’s absolutely gorgeous, and absolutely toned. If I wasn’t so head over hills for Ushijima I might even find him attractive, that still doesn’t stop me from appreciating him. He has this big smile on his face that seems to light up everyone around him even if they are frowning at his sudden obnoxiousness. 

“Oh lord,” I hear Kawanishi whisper beside me as the guy gets closer. 

“Do you know who that is?” I turn to face him and he gives me a look that screams “who doesn’t know this guy.” 

“Hey Kawanishi? Who’s this? Hello I’m Bokuto!” He raises his beefy arm and for a second I’m afraid he’s going to put me in a headlock, but instead he slaps his arm around my shoulder. “Any friend of Kawanishi’s is a friend of mine. So what’s your name?” He bickers on. Holy shit does this guy know how to talk, and make an entrance. 

“Uh, it’s Semi.” I say timidly and his eyes widen a bit. 

“Semi. I know a Semi, that sounds familiar.” He ponders out loud. 

“For goodness sake Bokuto, leave him alone can’t you see how uncomfortable he is.” The black haired person says exasperated next to him. He is, quite literally, the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my life. He looks fucking ethereal with his steel blue eyes, and he has the skin color of an Angel. I wonder if this is what Heavens gates look like. 

“Oh yeah, sorry ‘bout that,” he pipes up seeming to realize he had me locked in place. 

“Here’s here is your food!” The timid girl squeaks behind us. 

“Huh? Oh, thank you.” Kawanishi says to her. I give her a small smile in return and she blushes furiously and stalks away. 

“Hey come on you can come sit with us, can’t they Keiji?” He looks dreamily at the guy next to him. 

“Well I’m sure they can since you already invited them to. So what have you been doing today Kawanishi? And hello,” he bows slightly towards me, “I’m Akaashi.” He gives me a small smile and I swear I feel my heart rate stutter a bit. 

“Oh nothing much, we’ve just been at the gym. And this is Semi,” Kawanishi offers, and for that I’m grateful because I seem to not realize I have a voice. 

“Hmm.” He says in return and turns that gaze towards me. I can see the cogs turning in his head and I feel as flustered as that register girl did a few minutes ago. 

“Don’t you go out with Ushijima?” He says after staring at me a bit too long, I wasn’t going to say anything about that though. I splutter at his accusation after almost missing it though. 

“Wh-what. No I don’t, I mean that’s not a bad thing. We’re just friends for right now?” I can feel my face turning crimson and I take a chug of my hot latte. It burns terribly going down my throat, but I can always use that as my excuse for being so red. 

“What?! So _You’re_ Semi?!” The one name Bokuto screeches out. Every head in the place turns and Akaashi slaps his head into his hands. It seems this happens more than he would want it too. 

“Uh, yeah I am?” I say to him after he gets done getting scolded by Kawanishi. 

“Oh man. I never thought I’d get to meet you without Ushijima. Hey you know we’re going on a triple date soon!” He exclaims out ignoring the advice just given to him. I don’t have the heart to tell him I just so might have ruined that triple date, but he seems to not care because he speaks on anyways. 

“Hey he’s pretty isn’t he Keiji?” He tries to whisper it but he does a terrible job because Kawanishi laughs next to me and Akaashi rolls his eyes. 

“Bokuto he’s right across from you. He knows you can hear him,” he sighs stirring the little straw in his coffee. He has beautiful fingers. Long and slender. I feel like a weirdo for noticing that, but everything about this guy screams beauty and elegance. 

How is it Ushijima has such beautiful people around him? If I were ever to see him with these people and I didn’t know him, I’d turn and run the other way. It’s literally painful sitting here in this angels eyesight with this owl looking guy right next to him and Kawanishi right next to me. They look like fucking models. 

“So where’s Ushijima?” Akaashi asks interrupting my thoughts, it’s innocent enough but my body suddenly breaks out into a cold sweat. Like he already knows everything about me and everything I screamed to Ushijima. A familiar shade of red catches my attention when Kawanishi starts talking, and I excuse myself and walk out to catch up to him. 

“Tendou!” His swings his head side to side before he turns around looking at me frantically. 

“Holy fucking shit Eita!” He runs up to me and grasps me in his arms, “everybody’s been looking for you! Where were you? Why don’t you have your phone on you?!” He says raising his voice. It catches the attention of a few people around us, and I try to shush him. 

“Shh. It’s okay Tendou, I’m fine. I just I just had to be alone,” I stammer out nervously, “here let’s go in this coffee shop. Kawanishi is in there and a few of Ushijima’s friends.” 

“Kawanishi is there?” His eyes widen slightly and his frantic tone dims down a bit. “What’s Kawanishi doing in there?” He says curiously. 

“Well I was at the gym, and he did a few set ups with me.” I say as I open the door, “and why didn’t you tell me you were talking to him?” I push his shoulder and he gives me a shy smile. 

“Ah. I didn’t think he would tell you, I honestly thought he just wanted to hook up,” he says close to my ear as we walk up to the table. 

“Look who I found outside,” I say turning to Kawanishi as I sit back down in my spot. 

He seemed to have notice already who I found because there’s no surprise in his eyes, not like Tendou is hard to miss anyways, but he has a small smile on his face that seems to give away more than both of them had told me and I file that away for a later time. 

“Hello, I’m Tendou.” He says casually as he sidles in next to Kawanishi. Akaashi and Bokuto introduce each other in return, and give them knowing smiles when Kawanishi leans in to Tendou’s ear and says something. 

I suddenly feel out of place. Having invited Tendou here, and with this couple? They look like a couple with Bokuto continuously wanting attention or praise from Akaashi, and he seems to not mind because he continues to indulge him. I choose not to question it though, saving myself from embarrassment should I be wrong. I suddenly miss Ushijima terribly even if I haven’t known him for long. 

“Oh Semi. Ushijima is at the bookstore,” Tendou says from the opposite side of Kawanishi like he knew I was thinking about him. 

“But,” I stop myself from saying we’re closed today when he gives me the look that says he already knows what I’m thinking, “Okay.” I say instead about to get up. 

“Tell Ushijima we said hello,” Akaashi says looking up from Bokuto’s loving gaze when I’m about to walk away. Goodness gracious those guys are beautiful together. The love he has in his eyes makes me infinitely jealous, and they have to be a couple because if not I’d do anything in my power to make that possible. 

“Yeah! And it was nice meeting you Semi! Don’t forget to tell UshiWaka about our triple date.” Bokuto says loudly even though I’m right next to him. Tendou seems amused at that and hides his smile behind his hands. 

“Oh, yeah sure I’ll tell him,” Akaashi’s eyes thank mine for going along with him and I tell everybody my goodbyes as I walk out. 

The bookstore is about a good 10 minute walk if I take my time, which I intend to do because I have no idea what I’m going to say or how I’m going to say it. Obviously I could start with an apology. I realize I didn’t apologize to Tendou, and I could use that as an excuse to hold this conversation off, but I know he would scold me if I did that. 

The wind is starting to pick up with nighttime starting to fall, and I look up and watch the sun fall behind the small buildings around me. Today was emotionally draining, but it was awakening. I feel completed after crying for so long. I walk with my head towards the sky hoping my talk with Ushijima won’t end as terrible as it did this morning, even though that technically wasn’t a talk in the first place. For some reason I’m filled with hope I never felt before, and I think to myself that maybe I can believe in him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My ending side notes that I know you guys always look forward to: I originally wasn’t going to put BokuAka in this chapter but I changed my mind bc I plan on having more appearances of them in the later chapters (and bc they’re one of my fav ships so there’s that). So you’re welcome. 
> 
> And honestly if none of this is making sense I’m completely sorry for this. I plan on rereading this whole thing today to hopefully make everything fall into place more.


	11. Best of Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was drunk when I wrote this and when I woke up this morning and read it I swear it was an emotional rollercoaster. 
> 
> So I might start drinking more when I write (bad influence please don’t take this advice wow)
> 
> Anyways I’m pretty happy with the overall result. And I’m going to say this now before you get to it, you’re going to hate this fucking ending HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH 
> 
> Anywho. I hope you enjoy it^ω^）

“So nobody has still heard anything?” Kuroo quips from his seat at the table. It’s the same spot Semi is always in when we eat our lunch together. 

“No. Well Tendou left out a while ago to walk around, and Oikawa and Iwaizumi haven’t told me anything.” 

“Yeah I’m sure those two are searching real hard,” he says slyly. 

“Kuroo..”

“I know I know. Hey this book is really good. Is this your Angels?” I sigh at his question. 

“You don’t have to call him my Angel, Tetsu,” I refrain from telling him that I already did call Semi that, “and it could be his or someone else’s. I don’t know.” 

“Mmhmm. So,” I let my head fall back against the bookshelf at his further pestering. I should have seen it coming honestly. I didn’t get to tell him much about last night considering what all happened, but leave it to Kuroo to leave no shell unturned. 

“Did you guys do anything last night?” 

“I don’t see why it’s any of your business if we did or not,” I retort back which makes him smile harder. 

“Ah, So you did. Come on what’d you do UshiWaka?” He says setting the book on the table, clearly moving on to something he finds more entertaining. 

“I’m not going to tell you anything just so you can go and gossip back to Bokuto.”

“I’m hurt Wakatoshi!” He exclaims throwing his hand over his heart, “I would only do such a thing if you were in our presence. Besides, it can’t be as deviant as the things you’re really into, eh?” He says while waggling his eyebrows. 

“Ushijima?” The voice calls out and both of our heads whip towards the front. We were so caught up in our conversation that we didn’t hear the bell chime. 

“Semi?” I push myself off the case just as Semi is gliding around the corner. His eyes show no surprise when he looks at me, but they flick towards Kuroo showing that he didn’t know he’d be here. 

“Ah, well I guess I’ll take this as my leave then. I’m glad your Angel is back safe to you,” Kuroo says standing up from his spot and walking past us, winking at Semi and slapping me on my shoulder as he goes. I have the sudden urge to slap him, but when I glance at Semi he looks amused until he sees me watching him. 

We wait until the bell chimes until we go to sit at the table. He chooses to sit a couple of seats away from me, and I don’t mind. I don’t know what’s on his mind, or if he even wants me here with him anymore. I try not to let that thought upset me, but if that’s what he should want then I would do it just so he could be content. 

“So,” Semi says before clearing his throat to talk again, “I just wanted to apologize to you Ushijima.” That’s clearly not what I was expecting because he shouldn’t even be apologizing. “I had no reason to treat you the way I did when you did nothing but help me.”

“You don’t have to apologize for that Semi,” the surprise is clear in his face and it’s obvious that both of us are on different pages. 

“Anybody would have acted the way you did or worse after what has happened to you.”

“So you know?” His voice is small and he doesn’t look me in the eyes when he asks that question, and I hate it. I hate myself for talking to Kuroo, and Kenma telling me before Semi did. 

“Yes.. I don’t know if you remember Kenma,” I start and his eyes get a flash of recognition across from me even if he isn’t looking at me, “I went to Kuroo’s after I left yours and they told me.”

“Ah, I see.”

“I know it wasn’t their place to tell me, I should have found that out from you before running off to tell-“

“That’s completely fine Ushi,” he interrupts. He doesn’t sound upset and he finally glances at me and gives me a sad smile. “I would have preferred you found out from someone else instead of me. It’s not something I’m fond of talking about.” 

I don’t know what to say after that, so I let the silence continue to surround us. I feel as if I have a million things to say and sorry being one of them. Sorry that he had to go through that, sorry that someone ever felt the need to hurt him so badly. That’s probably the last thing he wants to hear though, it’s probably just going to make him upset. It wouldn’t help him at all. 

“You know,” he says after a few minutes, “I didn’t think I would ever make time for anybody again.” He chuckles at that before he goes on, “I was actually well on my way to owning a few cats. That is until you showed up. I was so happy- am so happy,” he corrects himself and it makes me smile a little because I get a sense of hope, “I got a push in the right direction, or a kick in the ass is more like it, and after moping around all day I realized that I didn’t give you as much credit you deserve.”

“Semi that’s not necessary.” His hands slide to mine on the table and he holds on like a lifeline. I see the desperation in those chocolate eyes, more so for himself than me and I snap my mouth closed to let him continue. 

“You have been nothing but a gentleman towards me...well sometimes,” He quirks with that glint in his eyes, “honestly I feel like I actually don’t deserve confessing this to you. I’m emotionally damaged, I don’t know how to express myself without feeling like I’m going to say the wrong thing and a ton of other things. You’re a beautifully handsome man, like insanely gorgeous and witty,” his hands fly up in the air and rest back on his lap while I feel my face run hot, “Really you could have anybody you wanted and I guess that’s where my fault lies at.”

He stops to catch his breath and he closes his eyes throwing his head back. I have never been so thankful for a breech in conversation until now, I just very well might have passed out if he praised me anymore. I see the look of concentration on his face, that same look that he has when he’s reading a book or looking too hard at something. He opens his eyes after a few seconds and continues. 

“I guess I said all of that just to say that I’ll believe in you more. That is if you continue to put up with me. I know we haven’t know each other long, so I’m sorry if all of this is getting thrown on you so soon and I wouldn’t blame you for walking away, but I’m going to try harder.” That desperation turned to sheer determination and just made me in awe of him more. 

“Of course Semi,” I tell him simply. 

“What? Wait, that’s all?” I can’t tell if he’s disappointed or happy with my simple reply. 

“Uh. I I’m just shocked,” I add, “I didn’t really expect that. It just caught me off guard.” I answer truthfully. 

“I would have stayed by your side even if you didn’t tell me all of that simply because I’m already so enamored with you” I continue on, “I didn’t expect you to be perfect or for there to not be any problems, that would have been too easy. It might not seem like it to you, but you’re very literally the only person I’ve ever been so entranced with.” His mouth springs open like that was really so hard to believe, and here I thought I was making it obvious. That just means I’ll have to show it more. Prove to him just how worthy he is of being loved and cherished. 

“I don’t care about you being terrible at expressing yourself,” I say standing up to walk in front of him, “I wouldn’t care if you didn’t want anything from me except to be by your side as a friend, I’d do that and more because you deserve to be happy. You don’t deserve to be hurt or feel worthless.” His eyes water up and I feel it tug at my soul but I continue anyways because he’s probably never heard someone say this to him, “You don’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing to me, or doing the wrong thing. You don’t have to pretend with me Eita. You can cry to me, laugh with me, you can be anything with me. You just don’t have to be sad anymore.” I finish off and tug him up to me so he can cry in my arms. 

His body shakes softly with tremors, but it’s different from the cry he shared last night and this morning when I was with him. It’s like that was what he needed to hear, and I hope so badly that’s exactly what it is. 

“Oh Ushijima,” he laughs into my shirt softly and raises his head up. No one should look as beautiful as he does after they cry, but he seems to prove me wrong. I see a million things behind those expressive eyes, and I want to give him each and every single one of them. 

“That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever told me,” he doesn’t wait for a response. Just raises up on the balls of his feet to seal his lips over mine. 

It feels like ages since we last kissed, but our lips mingled together as if we’ve done this same thing with each passing lifetime. As if our bodies separated and came back together after being apart for so long. His hands find their way into my hair and I slide mine against his waist. If I’m holding him too tightly he doesn’t protest about it, he just falls back to the flat of his feet and licks into my mouth like he’s trying to savor our taste together. 

“Semi,” I say in between kisses when I can feel his control slipping. He whines out loud when I push back more so we can get some semblance, and I swear the sound almost brings me to my knees. “Semi not here and not right now.” I say firmer and that seems to do the trick because his eyes flick up to mine. They’re glazed over, and his cheeks are cherry red and if he wasn’t so vulnerable right now I’d find a way to make the rest of his body like that. 

“Have you ate yet? Or do you want me to take home?” I ask him to get my mind off of the things I’m thinking. 

“I haven’t ate, and no I don’t want to go back there.” I mentally slap myself for saying that after what just happened. 

“I’m-“ I stop myself from saying sorry, “you can come to my apartment?” I offer. “I’ll cook and you can stay for a while, or if you want I can take you to Tendou’s.” I add to be on the safe side because that seems like the more logical idea. Him coming over would not only be bad for him, but it would be terrible for my self control and I refuse to do anything after the crap he just put up with. 

“Yeah that sounds good,” I let out the breath I was holding in while waiting for him to answer and I say a silent thank you, “I wouldn’t mind eating some more of your food.” He muses out loud and I realize that he actually does want to go to my place as he begins to walk to the front. I couldn’t possibly change my mind now. I’ll just have to come up with a plan on the way. 

“Are you in the mood for anything?” 

He gives me a sly smirk as he turns to lock the door and I already regret my invitation. 

“No, nothing in particular. I’m versatile.” The look he gives me as he says it makes me want to drink a gallon of holy water, and I have to clear my throat before I speak. 

“Okay. I think I have stuff at home to make spaghetti.”

“That’s fine. Who could refuse spaghetti,” he turns to me and smiles, and I suddenly want to refuse it. 

I choose not to say anything, instead keeping my eyes forward and watching our surroundings as we turn the corners. Nightfall hit sometime ago. There are less people out, obviously. The wind is blowing slightly, but it’s not a chilly breeze since it’s coming up into the summer months. The night sky still shines brightly with dozens of stars twinkling above us, and I remember something Semi told me. 

“Hey. You want to show me where Orion is?” He turns to me looking shocked as if I wasn’t supposed to remember that minor detail. He gets his composure quickly turning to look up at the night sky instead. He squints his eyes and he stops walking in favor of looking up for that constellation. It’s easy enough to see when he finds it, his eyes light up and he grins from ear to ear pointing straight above us. 

“It’s right....there. You see how those three little stars line up? That’s Orion’s Belt,” He tells me and I follow his slender finger to the sky, “Now you have to look really closely for the other ones. There’s three more right above it,” he glides his hand like he’s painting them there himself, “and the other two are below the belt.” He turns to look at me while he points at them to make sure I’m watching him. “There are other ones that I’m terrible at pinpointing, but I know almost everything about Orion.” He says with pride. The trip to my house now cut short since Semi has something very important to tell me about. 

“Betelgeuse is right there and Bellatrix is right across from it,” I follow his hand to where he points above the belt, “and Rigel is right there,” he slides his hand down a little below the belt and laughs when he says, “Those are the only stars I know though.” He starts walking still smiling to himself and I get a glimpse at how he is when something fascinates him. 

“You know I wanted to be an astronaut when I was younger. I feel like every kid wants to be one at some point though,” he muses out loud sliding his hand around my arm to lean against me. I realize it’s only so he can look up without tripping over himself, and I smile to myself at how cute that is. 

“My mother told me ‘you can’t be an astronaut they stay up there for years and miss out on everything,’ but I still wanted to go out there. I saw absolutely nothing wrong with living out in space and seeing everything that up close. It’s all so beautiful to me.” It really is, I wanted to say while looking at him, but that would have been too cliched. 

“Why’d you choose not to?” I say instead and he laughs again. 

“When I saw the work for it I changed my mind. Seriously, those people are smart as hell. I still try to read Stephen Hawkins books about the universe and am just as lost, but it’s still one of the only things that’s ever fascinated me as much as poetry. So I just chose the books instead. That beats two birds with one stone.” He smiles to himself, and we make it to the apartment just as he gets done talking. 

“Oh we’re here already?” The surprise is clear in his voice like he wasn’t talking the whole way here. 

“Yeah,” I chuckle turning to face him, “time goes by when you’re talking someone’s ear off.”

“Hey!” He says dejectedly walking in front of me when I get the door open, “I didn’t hear you complaining.” He says with a pout as he bends down slightly to slide his shoes off. I finally notice that he’s in workout gear and it looks damn good on him. 

“Were you at the gym today?” 

“Huh? Oh yeah I was. I thought volleyball would help.” He says conversationally following me to the kitchen. “You have a very nice place Ushijima.”

“Thank you. I rarely ever do anything so the least I can do is keep it clean.” I say bending down getting a pot out for water and one for the sauce before walking to my pantry. 

“Do you need any help with anything?” He asks peering over my shoulder from out of nowhere. I jump slightly at the suddenness and his husky laugh caresses me.

“Nope. No thank you.” If I closed the pantry door hard, I ignore it, but I hear Semi hum to himself as he goes to roam around. He’s clearly amused that he was able to catch me off guard, considering he’s always the one getting frightened. 

“What a nice little book collection you have Ushijima,” his teasing voice reaches my ears as I put the pasta in water and I suddenly wish I could melt into the pot with it. Said collection was a ‘gag gift,’ and I use that word very lightly, that Kuroo and Bokuto decided to put together one Christmas. I rarely ever have people over, so hiding the collection never crossed my mind, and I now regret not following that instinct. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I say blandly like my heart isn’t racing a mile a minute, “the food will be done in a minute. Do you want anything to drink?” I say turning around to face an amused Semi instead. 

His eyes are laughing at me as he leans back against the counter. I try to ignore the way his shirt stretches across his chest, and I make my way to the refrigerator to get me a bottle of water. 

“No thank you Ushijima,” there’s a lilt in his time that sets me on edge and I regret inviting him over even though I should have known better. 

“Okay. I’m just about done here,” I feel his eyes on me as I walk back to the stove after almost drinking half the bottle in one go, and I realize that did nothing to help. The pasta is boiling, and I probably let the sauce simmer for a little longer than normal, but it still looks good nonetheless. As I’m getting the bowls down from the cabinet I feel an arm wrap around my waist before he slinks up next to me. 

“Here let me help you with that Ushijima,” I watch every single word form on his mouth as he reaches around me to grab the bowls down himself. His shirt rides up just a little as his arm slides under mine, and I try not to ogle that little strip of skin that peaks out. He places the bowls on the counter and I catch his scent in the air when he does so and it’s so mouthwatering. It’s like a calling to me. 

“Is this what you wanted?” He peers up at me while he says it. Like he knows exactly what he’s doing. Like that innocent looking face isn’t asking me to do whatever I want to do with him right now. 

The bowls. Think about the bowls. Yes Wakatoshi, the bowls are exactly what you wanted. Now open your mouth and say that. 

“Thank you Semi,” I grab the bowls and turn away to finish everything off. I hear him pull his chair out soon after and I let out the breath I was holding. It seems to calm me enough before I walk over to set the bowls in our respective spots. Just as I’m about to walk away he grasps onto my arm and what he says next makes my blood boil and I suddenly don’t want to be a gentleman anymore. 

“You don’t plan on touching me tonight Ushijima?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohohoho
> 
>  
> 
> Side note: I hope you guys are appreciating my chapter titles. It takes me no time at all to think of them. Funny story, I was getting my mom a phone and the girl who was getting it settled for me had her music playing and her phone shuffled to BEST OF ME AND I NEVER SCREECHED SO LOUD. I never met someone *in person* who loves BTS. So needless to say, yes I finally made a friend. I was so happy bc my social life is nonexistent lmfao. Not only has BTS saved my life but they have given me a friend???? I don’t deserve them.


	12. Guilty Pleasure Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sinsinsinsinsinsinsinsin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually wait to give my amazing stories at the end as a side note, but y’all this shit was so embarrassing that I literally have to tell you before I get these chapters out. 
> 
> OKAY. So I had my laptop up with this chapter on there, and y’all I literally have like 10 diff notes up with different stories and I’m forgetful af. So my father in law is like “oh is this one of your poems Annie?” And me being the AMAZING DAUGHTER IN LAW I am said yeah! You wanna read it (because I value his opinion immensely) and obviously he says yeah. AND IT WAS THIS CHAPTER ON THERE AND I FUCK ING SCRE E CHED!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN I CAME OVER TO SEE HIM READING THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEVER WANTED TO DIE SO BADLY IN MY LIFE. Please don’t ask me what happened next. I’m dead on the inside. 
> 
>  
> 
> Please enjoy the first smut chapter to our UshiSemi fic, and keep me in your prayers. And I’m terrible at writing smut btw. But let’s pretend this is as good as I hope it is.

I don’t know why I asked that question. I could blame it on the fact that we got interrupted when we did last night, that would be an excuse though. It maybe has to do more with the fact that he’s strayed away from me every time I got too close to him. I can tell he’s trying to be a gentleman, or maybe it just has to do with the fact that he thinks I’m vulnerable right now. Sure I appreciate that, but that’s not what I want. What I want is how he had me last night. 

“Well Ushijima?” I say after a moment too long of silence. That seems to snap him out of whatever was going on in his mind because he sets the bowl down in front of me before going to his chair. 

“Semi that’s maybe not a good idea right now,” he says reasonably. He’s like the little angel sitting on my shoulder, but I don’t care for that voice of reason right now. My stomach growls embarrassingly loud before I can make a retort back and my face burns when I see the smug smile he has after hearing it. I choose my battles wisely, and decide to eat for now instead of going against that reasoning. 

I take the first bite and almost have tears of joy with how good this spaghetti is. I had no idea something could taste so amazing with only being made within a matter of minutes. Of course, It shouldn’t surprise me in the least considering that when we have lunch together it’s usually food that he’s cooked for us. 

“This is amazing Ushijima,” I say after I’ve swallowed down half of it. 

“Thank you Semi, but you know it’s not going anywhere right?” He has an amused smile when I look at him, and I hope for the love of all things holy that I don’t have any on my face. 

“You have such an appreciation for little things. I think that’s what I like most about you.” He says casually after I go back to eating. My face is probably as red as this sauce and I don’t dare look up even when I hear the clink against his bowl letting me know he’s set his fork down, “You know you make these little hum noises while you eat?” 

No, I did not notice that. I hum my acknowledgements and choose to focus on that thought as I finish up my food. It’s obvious the ball is back in his court now. I’d like to have thunk it was on my side for some time, but he probably knew exactly what I was doing and just chose not to entertain me. 

“Hey Semi,” he says when I don’t reply back to him. 

“Hmm?” I finally look up from my bowl into his eyes. They seem to shine brighter now than what they normally do, like the stars I was just gazing at are now right in front of me. 

“You have something right....here,” he leans over the table and swipes at the corner of my mouth, and I have a deep suspicion that I have absolutely nothing there but he pops his thumb into his mouth and sucks hard while looking straight at me. I feel a pivotal shift after he does that. It’s as if we both know what’s to come next, and we’re both accepting that. 

“I’ll take that water now if you don’t mind,” he gets up from his chair smoothly as soon as the words leave my mouth. 

“Of course not Semi.” He glides to the refrigerator and I try to stop myself from watching him as he goes. I wished that was as easy as it sounded. He pokes his hip out a little to refrain from hitting the edge and his hand slides across the bar as he does so and it shouldn’t be sexy at all, but for some reason I find myself mesmerized. Like this is just a casual routine for him. 

I said once that I prided myself on my observational skills and they don’t fail me now seeing as how I can see those veins slightly strain against his arm as he pulls the fridge door open. It’s the sexiest sight I’ve ever witnessed and when he closes it and turns back to me I feel as if he knows exactly what I’m thinking. His eyes have a certain gleam to them that I’ve only ever seen when he’s had me pushed up against a wall, literally and figuratively. 

“Here you go Semi,” he says handing me the water bottle. Although it sounds like a clear invitation into his pants with how close he’s standing next to me. 

I’m at eye level with his waist while I’m sitting down and that notion doesn’t escape me. He takes the dishes to the sink to wash them out as I chug down my water bottle. I could have easily unbuckled his pants with no problem. Sliding to my knees would have only taken seconds before I had him down my throat, ready and willing to give him everything he needs. 

“Semi.” His voice comes from behind me. I jump more for the fact that I didn’t know that he was done with the dishes than him actually being behind me already. 

“Yes Ushi?” It comes out clear and confident, the complete opposite of what I’m feeling. His hands slide on my shoulder and his breath tickles my neck. 

“Get up.” 

I feel the command more than I hear it even if it is spoken against the shell of my ear. My chair slides out easily until I turn and face Ushijima. He’s casually leaning against the small shelf I was just looking at not too long ago. His arms folded across his chest, long legs stretched out in front of him. 

“I wasn’t planning on touching you tonight. Or doing anything else for that matter,” he goes on to explain. I try not to let the disappointment show on my face at his sudden revelation until he speaks up again. “But you know Semi you’re not so good at hiding it. Your eyes are begging for it.” 

He pushes himself off the case and doesn’t stop walking until he has me pushed up against the table with both of his arms caging me in. My breathing picks up and I flick my eyes to his to see his pupil swallowing the green whole. His eyes never lie when he’s turned on, but looking at them now sends a different kind of shiver down my spine. He knows what he wants and this time there’s nothing getting in the way from holding us back. 

“Do you want me Eita? You want it?” He says all husky in that deep voice. It almost brings me to my knees because _fuck yes I want it._ The feel of his chest as it rumbled with each word. The look he’s giving me like he wants to fucking devour me. He could lay me out on this table and I wouldn’t give a damn how he took me. I’ve wanted him before I even had him. 

“Yes Ushijima,” it comes out needy and I can’t stop the hitch in my breath when he leans down like he’s about to kiss me. His hand slides up my spine while the other one splays itself against my thigh, and I close my eyes as he leans in closer. His lips just graze against mine and venture off to the side, and I try to hold in my whine. 

“Prove it.” Is whispered against my ear before he tugs me flush against him. If I had thought we couldn’t get any closer then I was absolutely wrong. I feel every crevice and shift of his muscles as I bring my hands to his waist. He’s still leaning down slightly so it doesn’t take me long to seal my lips over his. 

My hands twist from their place on his shirt as our tongues slide together. It’s filled with more passion than we usually have. Our grasps just a little bit tighter. His hand that was resting at the nape of my neck twists it’s way into my hair and pulls my head back. He bites my lip before sliding his tongue down my neck to leave a wet open mouth kiss, and I moan out into the air around us. 

“Fuck I’ve been waiting for this,” He growls against my neck while sliding his hand to my other thigh. My hands fly to his shoulders and I let out a surprised gasp when he lifts me up and sets me on the table. He wastes no time prying my legs open and nibbling down to my collarbone. I wrap my legs around him on instinct, and the way our cocks rub together makes me throw my head back. 

“ _Oh fuck_ Ushi,” I moan out loud. It’s been ages since I’ve been touched like this by somebody else. I feel lightheaded, and I feel his quick breaths fanning my neck so at least I’m not the only one losing my sanity. 

He picks me up easily, and if I wasn’t hard then, than I sure as hell am now. I’ve never been one to be attracted to muscles but Ushijima’s could bring me to my knees, literally. He walks us to his room I presume, and I take this as my chance to suck onto his neck. I slide my hands up the back of his shirt feeling his muscles shift and I scrape along them. His fingers dig into my thighs when I do, and I lick the same spot on his collar before I bite down. I feel his cock twitch against me just as we make it into his room. 

I had expected, hoped, he would throw me on the bed, but instead he sits down with me in his lap and pulls my head back to ravish my mouth again. His tongue licks into the roof of my mouth while his hands start sliding my shirt up. He breaks away to toss it somewhere before he clashes back into me. I have a fleeting thought to try and take his shirt off but the way he keeps deepening our kiss makes me short circuit. 

His hands don’t stop their exploration, and I feel like I’m being swallowed whole. It’s not delicate in the least, his hands are rough dragging across my body and he kisses into me like he’s trying to ruin me. It’s sloppy and dirty, and I fucking love it. It’s like he’s trying to burn this moment into my memory. He breaks away with a gasp and flicks my nipple, and my head lolls back as I let out a whimper. 

“ _Hng_....jima feels so good,” I moan when he does the same thing to the other side. My hips grind down onto his and my mouth falls open on a silent groan. 

“You’re so fucking pretty Angel, just look at you.” He whispers appreciatively. I flush under his praise, and when I look back at him his eyes are hooded, but filled with so much adoration I’m at a loss for words. 

He flips us over so that he’s staring down at me, and the look he gives as he slides his hand down my stomach leaves goosebumps in their wake before he settles at my waistband. He could easily slip them off, but he looks to me for permission before he does so and I lift my hips up so he can slide them down. My boxers go with it, and whether that was planned or not, makes me blush. 

“Look at this Eita, already so hard.” He tuts as his finger grazes up my cock. My hips fly off the bed in search for more and he smirks down at me as his palms land on my hips to hold me down. He looks downright sinful, and my breathing picks up because of it. 

“Are you going to undress for me now Wakatoshi.” I say breathlessly. His eyes widen slightly because of the use of his first name, and it’s my turn to look smug even if he still has a firm hold on me before he lets me go. 

The bed dips as he leans back to get up, and I slide down to my knees as he takes his shirt off and flings it somewhere. He sucks in a deep breath as he looks down at me, and I take my time roaming his body. He’s a very beautiful man, but with no shirt on the sight could bring tears to Michelangelo’s eyes. He’s perfectly sculpted with just the right amount of muscles right down the the v dipping into his pants. I can’t stop my hum of appreciation after admiring him. 

I slide my hands up his legs and undo his button, and look up at him while I pull them down. I tap his leg and he steps out of the pants and looks down at me with a raised eyebrow. Leaning closer, I kiss along his hipbone until I make it to his crotch but he slides his hands in my hair and pulls my head back. 

“Semi....”

“Just Angel to you,” I say with an amused smile. He chuckles to himself and continues to rub at my hair. 

“You don’t have to do that,” he says almost reluctantly. 

“I know I don’t,” I say while sliding his boxers down, “but I’ve been wanting to do this. If you don’t want me to, then I won’t.” I reassure him. I stop my ministrations with his briefs and continue to look into those olive eyes. He doesn’t look like he’ll deny me in the slightest. 

“Give it your best shot Angel,” he smirks from above me. I push his boxers down the rest of the way and stroke his cock. To put it mildly, it’s fucking huge, and I pause for a second trying to figure out how this is going to work. This thing should come with a warning sign or something, where were the red flags at when we rutted up against each other with clothes on. Sure he felt big then, but this. This is going to ruin me. 

Not being one to back down from a challenge though, I lean forward and lick a stripe on the underside of his cock before wrapping my mouth around the head. The taste of his precum fills my mouth and I moan around his girth before sliding down further. There’s a slight stretch in my jaw, but I relish in it. I bring my hand up and stroke him as I bob my head faster. The groans I get in response almost make me cum on the spot, and I use that as fuel to slide him down my throat. 

“ _Oh fuck Eita._ ” He grasps onto my head, and when I look up at him he has his eyes shut and head thrown back. It’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever witnessed and I pull back only to suck him down my throat again and again. His hands tighten in my hair and snap forward when I moan around him. When I look up again his cheeks are flushed and his mouth is hanging open on a groan before he smiles at me. 

“Your mouth should be illegal,” he swipes the pad of his thumb around my slick lips before he pulls me off and pushes me back into the bed. A trail of saliva slides down my chin and my mouth taste like his precum, and I want to savor this feeling forever. The stretch my jaw had trying to accommodate him, and how erotic he looked standing above me trying not to fuck into my mouth. I hear him open a drawer before he leans over me again. 

“When was the last time you had sex Eita?” He asks me curiously. I blush furiously and glance away, like I didn’t just have his dick down my throat. 

“Umm,” this is embarrassing, it’s been so long I don’t even remember, “A while. I just, You know, do everything myself.” He seems amused by that even though he tries to keep a stoic face. 

“Okay, thank you for telling me.” 

He leans forward and captures my lip in a kiss. It’s chaste and sweet, and I follow his lips away when he moves back. 

“So greedy Eita, be patient.” He chides smacking the inside of my thigh. My cock jumps at that and he raises his eyebrow on a smirk. I hear him open the cap to the lube before he tosses it on the bed. “I’m going to go slow Semi. Let me know if you want me to stop.” I open my mouth to answer, but I groan instead when he swirls his finger around my hole. 

He slides my legs open more with his before leaning forward and catching me in a kiss. He licks across my bottom lip and hums when he taste himself before pushing his finger in slightly. 

“Ushi..Wakatoshi,” my hands grasp onto his shoulder and dig in when he begins to finger me. 

“Shh, I got you Angel.” He latches onto my neck and sucks while he pushes in further. His fingers are slightly bigger than mine, but they stretch me deliciously and I find myself grinding down onto him when one finger isn’t enough. 

“ _More,_ More Waka,” I beg. He sits up and smirks down at me while he slides another finger in before stopping and adding a third one in. 

“ _Oh fuck yes,_ ” My back arches off the bed as he fucks into me with a new fervor, and I moan his name silently when the burn fades and pure ecstasy takes over. His other hand comes up and strokes my cock in time with his thrust, and I feel a light sweat break out over my body. The way he’s gazing down at me attentively along with the way he bites his lip makes me clench up in anticipation. 

“I want...I want you Ushi,” I moan out. He pauses and looks down at me mischievously. 

“Already Angel? I thought you’d hold out a little longer,” he teases. It makes me want to flip him over and put his cock in me himself, but I can’t. “Beg for it,” he says as his finger curls and hit that sweet spot inside of me. My hips fly up and I let out a silent scream. 

“That doesn’t sound like begging to me.” He says nonchalantly as he continues to hit that spot over and over again. When he became this sadistic I have no idea, but I feel tears pinprick my eyes and I scrunch them closed. 

“Pleplease Ushi-Wakatoshi, _I need it,_ ” he moves his hand away from my cock and he thrusts into me one last time before looking down at me. He grabs the condom and rips it open sliding it onto him before grabbing the lube to slick himself up. 

I feel my mouth water watching him get himself ready, and a thrill runs through me when he turns those sharp eyes on mine. 

“I want you to look at me when I fuck you.”


	13. Guilty Pleasure Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys do some more sinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pure indulgence for me. I literally tried to keep the kinkiness to a moderate level and I’m proud of myself for that, but in my mind Ushijima is dominant (who doesn’t think that?), and I use that in full force. 
> 
> I’m actually ashamed I made their first time like this, but they’re adults here and who’s purely vanilla in their adult life? (No offense if you are I’m sorry I’m like this) 
> 
> But please enjoy this poorly written smut by yours truly, and You’re welcome（ゝ。∂）

“I want you to look at me when I fuck you.”

The minute the words leave his mouth I can feel my body turn crimson. He grabs my hips and drags me toward him until his cock is resting at my hole, and I choke on a sob when he pushes in a fraction because it just _feels so good._ The stretch is almost uncomfortable after not being filled for so long, but he eases back out before he digs his fingers into my hips and pushes in further. He snaps his hips back out and I throw my head back on a groan and he chuckles. 

“Please no, put it back in.” I whimper trying to thrust myself back down. He holds me in place easily, smirking down at me devilishly. My next protest dies on my lips when he falls to his elbows and strokes back in until he bottoms out. I feel my eyes roll to the back of my head and I moan out his name breathlessly. 

“You feel so good Eita,” he groans against my jaw. The feel of him inside of me brings tears to my eyes. He’s fucking huge and the pull of his cock when he drags against my walls is so agonizingly delicious. 

Ushijima kisses up my jaw until he finds my lips and he licks into me as he pulls out and grinds back in. My mouth opens on a gasp and he licks and suck at my lips and tongue as he grinds into me at a slow pace. I can feel every inch of him with each thrust that he gives and it feels like heaven. But I want him slamming into me. Chasing after his own orgasm while I’m spent underneath him. 

“Faster Wakatoshi.” I plead against his lips. 

“So so _needy_ Eita,” he chides rolling his hips into me at an agonizingly slow pace, “this isn’t good enough for you?” He bites my lip as I whimper and he coaxes his way into my mouth and sucks on my tongue before he sits up on his knees. 

His eyes look glazed over with lust, and the way he licks his lips when he angles my hips up towards him makes me whine in need of more. He slides back into me without waiting for my response. 

“So fucking tight, feels so good.” He moans thrusting into me at a brutal pace. My hands scramble for purchase along the sheets and he frees one of his from the hold on my hips to yank my hands above my head. My body curves into the air when he switches up the pace again and rocks into me slow and deep. Wrist chaffing together from his hold on me, it’s torture at its finest. 

“You like that Angel?” I nod my head in response not trusting my voice. It probably hasn’t even been 30 minutes yet and I’ve already been reduced to feeble moans. The way his hands hold me down and he glides into me at a consistent pace, sweat glistening down his chest. This man was made for sex; everything about him from his thick thighs, to his broad chest, and that bedroom voice. 

“Look at you,” his voice drips with mock disapproval sliding his gaze over my body, “already so dirty.” His free hand swipes through the precum that pooled on my stomach. I feel my face flame up with humiliation when he brings it to my lips, but I open my mouth on instinct. He slides his fingers to push down on my tongue to taste the salty and sweet mixture, and he lets out a deep rumble in response. 

I suck his fingers reverently, moaning around the two digits he just had deep inside of me as he continues to grind into me. I feel like a wanton whore with the spit dribbling out of my mouth and his fingers practically stuffed down my throat, but he looks at me like he’s never seen anything so beautiful. 

He pauses and I whine around his fingers before he slides them out dragging them down my body to wrap my legs around his waist, and when he slides in again he hits right at my prostate. 

“ _Oh fuck_ ” My body bows and I throw my head back as he slides his hands up my body. 

“You like it rough don’t you,” he flicks my nipples and smirks down at me when I let a lewd moan. “Your ass squeezes me so tight when I hit right, here.” He punctuates the last words slamming right against my sweet spot. 

“ _Nghhh-shit,_ ” He rocks into me harder and I feel tears pool in the corner of my eyes as he continues to pinch and flick my nipples with each thrust. 

“You look so beautiful, taking my cock so well.” I preen under his praise and he groans throwing his head back. It’s the most erotic sight I’ve ever witnessed and I feel that familiar heat pool in my stomach just as he stops his assault on my nipples and slides them to my dick. He grasps onto me and strokes in time with his thrust before he slides to the base of my cock to hold off my orgasm. 

“ _No! No,_ let me come. Ush-Wakatoshi _please_ ,” I mewl raising my body up into his touch. I can still feel the sensation of it. The butterflies in my stomach right before that drop. The feeling that every nerve is alive and thriving with adrenaline underneath my skin. His eyes get a sadistic gleam and I feel a sick satisfaction run through me even if I’m the one suffering. It’s such a stark contrast to how sweet he is outside of the bedroom, almost like he isn’t even the same person at all. 

“You don’t wanna come with me baby?” Voice as sweet as honey, slowing down his pace and letting go of my dick. His shallow thrust isn’t fulfilling me at all after being stuffed for so long, and I try to grind myself down on him to chase after my orgasm. 

“What a little cockslut,” I say slapping the outside of Eita’s thigh. He lets out the most wanton moan and tries to thrust down onto me again. 

I had tried to be slow with him at first. Worship him the way he should be after being neglected for so long. But when those sweet lips begged me to go faster, that thin control I was balancing on snapped. Seeing him reduced to moans and whimpers, and the tears pool up in those chocolate eyes are better than the fantasies my mind conjured up. 

He tightens his legs around my waist, and I can see the challenge behind those eyes from not being satisfied nearly enough. He’s surely going to have bruises from my hold on him, but instead of me thrusting into him the way he wants he gracefully pushes himself up and sits on my cock fully. 

“ _Oh god yes.._ He moans towards the heavens. I have to stop myself from coming on spot after that. It was the most pornographic sight I’ve ever witnessed; seeing him throw his head back and his mouth falling open as he brings those arms around me for leverage. I couldn’t hold my groan back even if I wanted to. 

“Damn,” My eyes roll to the back of my head and I groan louder when he pulls himself up and grinds back down slowly. 

“‘s good Wakatoshi. Oh _fuck_ ” his head falls to my shoulder and he lets out a half whine half sob from his ministrations and I feel my mouth go dry. I can’t do anything except hold onto him so we don’t lose balance. 

“You like that baby?” His voice is laced with desperation but he brings his head up and looks me in my eyes. I feel that familiar heat pool in my stomach under that gaze. He just looked out of control and dazed a few moments ago, and here he is now riding me looking like he wants to devour me. 

“Yes, _Yes._ ” That seems to fuel him because he grinds down faster before running his fingers up to my hair and pulling my head back. His tongue slides against my Adam’s apple and he nibbles his way up to my jaw before licking and sucking on me feverishly. I’ve never felt so desperate in my life. 

“I’m about to cum Wakatoshi,” he licks his way up to my ear to say. I slide my hand in between us to stroke his cock. And he fucking whines, _whines,_ when I swipe my thumb across his slit. He smashes his lips to mine and licks into my mouth. It’s sloppy and dirty and I groan when I feel him tighten around me as he rides me faster. 

“ _Nghhh_ Waka...wakatoshi I’m...” the force of his orgasm cuts him off and it’s the most gorgeous sight I’ve ever been alive to witness. His back arches perfectly while his head lolls back, and the way he moans my name sends a chill down my spine. 

His cheeks are flushed and his eyes are scrunched closed, but the sound of that voice repeating my name like a prayer pushes me over the edge. I tug him off of me and flip him over until his ass is in the air and I thrust inside of him. He throws his head back and mewls and I feel a shiver run through his body. 

My stomach is still slick with his cum and I swipe it off with my fingers before sucking on them. “You taste so fucking _good_ Angel,” I hear the hitch in his voice and and I thrust into him again and again still tasting his saltiness on my tongue. 

I get a fleeting thought that I’m maybe being too rough with him. Riding him out through his orgasm, still hitting him right against his prostate. But then he stretches his arms out in front of him and arches his back in a perfect position. The sultry look he gives me when he glances back, like he dares me to do my worst, makes my hips stutter. 

His eyes shine with amusement but they still look dazed. Focusing in and out when I stroke in again, and finally closing before he drops his head to the bed on a loud moan. The force of his second orgasm takes over him and I grind inside of him once and then twice before my eyes roll back and my hips snap forward. His name on my lips as I shoot inside of the condom. 

I feel like years have passed when I pull out of him, it might have only been seconds, but Semi falls forward and rolls over. Chest heaving, and eyes closed but with a sated expression. I take the condom off and tie it before making my way to throw it in the trash and going to run a bath. I wait until it’s hot but not too hot and go to get Semi from the room. 

“Semi,” I poke his leg. For a second I think he’s sleep, which wouldn’t surprise me in the least, but his little almond eye slants open and he hums in acknowledgment. ”Let’s get you on in the bath.” I say with an amused smile. 

I pick him up in a princess carry, and it’s almost endearing how he tries to bring his arms around my neck before he gives up and just cuddles on my chest. 

“It might be hot,” I tell him shutting the faucet off with my foot before stepping into the bath with him. 

“Hmmm, ‘s good.” He says relaxing against me, his back to my front. I lather up the washcloth before I start to clean us off, and he speaks up again just as I lean his head back to wash his hair. “Smells good. You always smell so good Ushi.” I chuckle at his honesty. 

“Thank you Semi,” I say amused. He looks unconditionally happy about that revelation, like he just told me I won the lottery, and I feel like I do when he opens his eyes tiredly and gives me an enchanting smile. 

“Come on Semi,” I say getting up after I finish washing us off. He leans back against the tub as I get a towel and do a quick wipe off and get him out before he tries to drown himself. 

“Can we do that again?” He asks while I wrap him up in a towel and carry him back into the room. I chuckle at his honesty, as if he’s not about to fall asleep as soon as I lay him in bed. 

“We can do it anytime you want baby,” I kiss his forehead as I lay him on the bed and go to get a shirt for him, “but not right now. You’re going to get some sleep.” I say pulling my oversized shirt over his head after I dry his hair off. I get up to put the towel in the hamper and turn off the lights as I walk back to the bed. He seems satisfied upon my return because he hums and pulls me down with him. 

“‘s go to sleep now Ushi. Thank you for everything.” I feel like he’s not only talking about the sex and that fills me with pride. 

“Anything for you Semi.” I pull back the covers for us and he cuddles up against my side throwing his leg across mine as I pull him closer to me. 

I’ve never slept with someone before, not counting the terrible sleepovers Kuroo used to pop over to do, but my eyes close with a heaviness I usually never feel as soon as I lay down. My head is light with fuzz but before sleep takes over I swear I hear him whisper, “I could fall in love with you Ushijima.”


	14. Rewind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally had this finished this morning and forgot to post hahahahhahah. But anyways, short and simple. I hope you guys like it. 
> 
> I was in an exceptionally good mood today after falling asleep listening to Jonghyunnie’s beautiful voice & seeing that amazing mv and I hope that reflects on this because I feel blessed. (*^｡^*)
> 
>  
> 
> Until next time you guys(: there shouldn’t be any errors but if there are let me know

The thrumming of a heartbeat stirs me the next morning and I stretch out as much as I can without waking Ushijima. He’s sleep soundly next to me, arm still cradled around my back, my legs still thrown over his. I usually hated sleeping with Lev. His long limbs would stretch out over the bed making it hard for those nights I wanted to sleep nestled into him. And his snores could wake the living dead, even though he always made it look so beautiful. Ushijima puts him to shame though. 

He’s curled up into the side of his left arm that’s stretched haphazardly above him. Soft puffs of air streaming out of those lips that drove me absolutely crazy last night. He looks as every bit of the Demi-god I always thought him to be. Strong arms and a chiseled chest. His lashes frame his sleeping face giving him an ethereal look. How I snagged someone like him I will never know. 

There’s barely any light pouring in through the curtains, only the soft sound of birds chirping outside a giveaway that morning has come. I wonder for a second if it’d be creepy to lay here and admire Ushijima while he sleeps. I don’t see anybody who would pass up that opportunity, but not being one to try to embarrass myself, because with my luck I’d get caught. I slide across him and fling myself out of bed hoping he doesn’t wake up. 

I stand about as good as a fawn gliding on ice, and make my way to the restroom on wobbly legs. My body is sore in places I had forgotten they could get sore in. And when I make it into the bathroom I see my looks aren’t any better. My hair is pressed against the side I was laying against all night, I still have terrible bags under my eyes and my throat feels like it was dragged in gravel. Fingerprints have formed their way into my skin when I raise his shirt up, pressed along my stomach all the way to my hips and I’m almost glad they’ll be bruised into my skin for the next week. 

I wash myself up, making a mental note to tell Ushijima I used his toothbrush. And pad my way into the kitchen to find coffee. I pinpoint it in exactly five seconds and have it brewing in about half that time while looking through canisters and cupboards until I find the sugar and mugs. 

I’ve come to realize that he’s a very organized person, which is always a good quality in a partner. _Wait?_ The thought stops me just as I’m about to pour my coffee. Would he be counted as my partner now? It was just sex though so maybe I shouldn’t get too ahead of myself. After all, we’ve only been seeing each other for about a month. Especially not after what happened lately. Shit that reminds me. 

“What are you thinking so hard about this morning?” His voice is gravely and sexy and it scared the hell out of me. The coffee pot wiggles in my hands and if I didn’t already have a firm hold on it, I’d not only be wearing Ushijima’s shirt, but fresh coffee also. 

“Hmm? Oh nothing really, do you want some coffee?” I turn to face him after setting the pot down just as he slides his arms around my waist. 

“Not really..” His voice fades off as he brings his lips to mine. 

A satisfied hum sounds throughout him, like this is the only thing he wanted, and I feel that vibration down to my toes. His tongue slides lazily against mine while his fingers make small circles around my back. He doesn’t deepen the kiss any further than what he’s doing, but it’s still enough to make my head dizzy and my toes curl. I chase after him when he goes to pull away, and when I open my eyes up I see he has a playful smirk on his face. 

“That was better than coffee,” he kisses my forehead and makes his way to the refrigerator. I’m almost not surprised that he looks absolutely gorgeous when he first wakes up. His hair slightly tousled, and his sleepy eyes. He usually has on fitted shirts when I see him, but his shirt is loose collared and paired with his tight boxers is absolutely mouthwatering. I swallow thickly and make my way to the small bar to drink my coffee. 

“So do you have any plans today?” He asks pulling out a bowl of fruit, and I shrug my shoulders. 

“Nothing really. I do have to go back home,” I left my phone there and there’s not telling how much shit I have to put up with. “Oh yeah, I might go see Oikawa, if I feel up to it.”

“You probably should,” he adds. 

“That reminds me. What were you doing at the bookstore?” I ask conversationally gulping down some of the hot liquid. 

“Tendou called me while I was at Kuroo’s. Nobody could find you so we all met up there.” I feel guilt wash over me at his confession, “Hey.” His soft voice makes me raise my head up and he gives me a small smile, “it’s okay if you had to get away. Nobody was going to batter you for it. We were just worried is all.”

“I know, still I should have told someone. Or at least brought my phone with me.”

“You did what you had to do Semi, don’t feel guilty about that.” He says nonchalantly as if the topic means nothing. Oikawa or Tendou would have showered me with questions. 

“Oh yeah!” I say remembering something important, “I met your friends. Who was it?” I rack my brain until the names come to me, “Bokuto and Akaashi?” His eyes close on a sigh and he brings his hand up to his face. 

“What happened?” He asks exasperatedly and I laugh out loud. 

“Nothing really. I was with Kawanishi when we met them at that little coffee shop. Bokuto was very....Ah how do you put it-“

“Loud, rambunctious.”

“Ha, yeah that’s about right. He was sweet though. Are him and Akaashi together?” He gives a fond smile and I know the answer before he even speaks it. 

“Yeah. They’ve been together for years.” He says fondly. And it shows, they’re truly a beautiful couple. One animated the other reserved, it seems like the perfect combination. Ushijima picks the bowl up and makes his way towards the seat next to me. 

“Are you okay?” He pops a grape in his mouth and I watch his lips close around it as he chews. 

“Uh, yeah. A little sore, but I’m fine.” I glance at his lips again before looking away to drink down the rest of my coffee. 

“Mmm, okay.” 

We lapse into a comfortable silence after that. Him eating his fruit and me casually leaning on the side of the bar. He really does have a beautiful home. It’s decorated in a warm brown, creme, and burgundy scheme. He doesn’t have much on his walls, a few paintings here or there that I’ll take the time to look at when I don’t need to get up and get ready. The small shelf is the only thing that occupies the dining room. And he has a little tv sitting on top of a movie case. His couch looks exceptionally comfortable, I’ve always had a soft spot for comfy furniture. 

The feel of rough fingers sliding on my hand makes me turn my head towards Ushijima. “Do you want me to come with you?” He asks. It’s a simple enough question, but it holds so much meaning. Do I really want him to come with me? After everything he’s already witnessed I don’t see why not, they already included him in everything yesterday. I nod my head in response. 

“Yes you can.” That seems to please him and he eats his last strawberry before getting up to wash the dish out. I push myself off the chair and follow him into the kitchen. 

“If you want to wear some of my clothes that’s fine, unless you want to wear your clothes.” He says loudly talking over the spray of water. 

“I’m right beside you,” I try to keep the amusement out of my tone when I see him jump a little, “And that’s fine. I’ll wear some of yours, mine are dirty.” He turns the water off after taking my mug and rinsing it off. He turns the faucet off and dries his hands. 

“By the way,” I say as we begin to walk to his bedroom, “did you give me a bath last night? I don’t remember.” 

“Yeah. I thought you would have remembered, you kept going on about how good I smell and whatnot.” I flush at his confession and he laughs out loud walking to his closet as I throw myself on his bed. I suddenly want to incinerate myself. If I didn’t remember a simple bath, who’s to say I don’t remember any other embarrassing comment I made. 

“Did I, was that it? I didn’t say any other embarrassing thing did I?” When he doesn’t speak up automatically I raise myself up on my elbows to see him looking at me thoughtfully. 

“Nope, you didn’t say anything else.” He turns around and I scrunch my eyebrows together. I might possibly have not said anything, but there was a slight undertone that makes me believe I did and I hope it wasn’t anything dealing with Lev. 

“So, I don’t really have anything small enough for you.” He pulls down a shirt and some pants before handing them to me. The pants have a drawstring on them and I don’t really care about how big the shirt is. 

“That’s fine. I live in oversized clothes anyways, I just might steal these away from you.”

“That’s perfectly fine,” He says pulling down his clothes. I turn away so he won’t see my flustered face and hurry to put the clothes on. The shirt stops above my knees and I whip his boxers off in favor of just putting the sweatpants on. They were two sizes to big for me anyways they would have just annoyed otherwise. 

“Oh yeah,” I say turning around to him after I put the clothes on only to see him already watching me with hooded eyes. 

“Really Eita?” I feel my heart flutter at his tone and I look off to the side. 

“I didn’t know you were...they were just going to get in the way.” I feel like my heart is about to beat out of my chest, but instead of him coming towards me, not like I wanted him to or anything, he finishes putting his clothes on. I wouldn’t say I’m exactly relieved but I let out a small puff of breath in return. 

“I hope you don’t mind, but I used your toothbrush.” I say going back to my point at hand. 

“That’s fine Semi.” He walks to the restroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. Back to Semi, I see. I make my way to the living room in favor of waiting on him and he joins me a few minutes later. 

“Ready?” 

“Mhm.”

“So where are we going first?” He asks after closing and locking his door. 

“Uh, we should probably go to Oikawa’s first. I’m sure he thinks I’m still pissed at him.” Which I am, but I won’t give into that negativity right now. 

“Aren’t you?” Ushijima quips beside me and I turn to face him. “I’m sorry, it’s not my place to say that.” He says regretfully. He looks back in front of him as I guide us to Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s place. 

“I am,” I say after a few minutes. “I’m extremely pissed, and I almost don’t want to see him.” I usually try beat around the bush with myself because I always end up hurt, but this is something I have to be honest about. “He had no right doing what he did, but I’m sure he’s probably beating himself up more than anybody right now.”

“You’re probably right about that.” He glances over at me, and I know his words ring true. He was there yesterday with everybody, and when Oikawa is hurt it shows. Where he’s usually loud and obnoxious, when he’s hurt he folds in on himself and that’s why I’m going to see him. He might not look like it, but Oikawa is hard on himself. We’ve had to pick each other up more times than we could count and that’s why I can’t leave him be. 

“Oh man, are you serious?” I say as we make it around the corner just as pellets of rain start falling. “His place is right ahead.” I pick up the pace just as the rain starts falling down harder. Thunder goes off and I let out a screech and very nearly jump out of my shoes and Ushijima laughs. If I wasn’t too caught up in trying to get out of the rain I would have admired the sight. Instead we run faster and make it to the complex just as the rain starts getting harder. 

“Who is it?” Iwaizumi says on the other line of the intercom when I press the buzzer. 

“It’s Semi.” It opens immediately afterwards and were walking to the door. 

“Don’t you think you should have told him I was with you?” Ushijima says reasonably. 

“Yeah you’re probably right,” I knock on the door when we arrive, “I’m sure they won’t mind though.” Iwaizumi opens the door and he looks absolutely exhausted, but his eyes widen slightly when Ushijima follows in behind me. 

“Thank you for having me.” He says politely taking his shoes off and setting them next to mine. 

“No problem, Uh, he’s in the room Semi.” 

“Okay. How bad is he?” His eyes flick to Ushijima, “It’s okay. I’m sure everyone’s done beating around the bush by him.” I’ve never seen Ushijima nervous before, but he brings his hands together and starts twiddling his fingers together. It’s endearing that he feels this way around close friends still. 

“He’s doing better than I thought. He was terrible yesterday when nobody knew where you were, he was the one that went to your house and found you gone.” Iwaizumi doesn’t really sound accusing, but his tone is heavy with remorse. I choose to not say anything else and walk to the room. 

I knock on the door before opening, and I see his little fluff pop out from under the covers. He must’ve heard me speaking to Iwaizumi because he doesn’t look shocked. His eyes are red though and I feel my heart twinge. 

“Hey..” His voice is raspy and I scratch the back of my head and sit on the edge of the bed. 

“Hey Oikawa.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Eita.” Tears form in his eyes, “I had no idea he’d go over there. I shouldn’t have even spoke to him, you’re right. It’s just you looked so sad all the time, you were starting to avoid everybody I thought, I thought..” he fades off and wipes his eyes with the back of his hands. 

My eyes land on their back wall and I see that god awful painting is hanging there still. I stay quiet for a while not really knowing what to say, funny how I had everything planned out in my mind and now that I’m actually here I have nothing to say. 

“You know it’s been so long since I saw his face, that I thought,” my voice cracks and I clear it before going on, “I thought when I saw him again, _if_ I saw him again, that I wouldn’t care about anything. I truly believed I loved him more than anything. And I think I think that’s why I hated seeing him so much.” Oikawa sits there watching me as I ramble on. The last time we truly talked about Lev was years ago, and that’s probably why everything spilled out all at once. “I should have talked to you guys more. I bottled everything inside because I believed you wouldn’t understand anything I was going through, and that’s where my fault lies.”

“We should have noticed it sooner, it’s not your fault.” Oikawa says in response and I smile and shake my head. 

“You and Tendou tried everything. It was me and I know it was. I won’t blame you, or be mad at you. It’s not your fault. Maybe if I talked more sooner, then you wouldn’t have did what you did.” And that’s true. I have no reason to be mad at him when I’m just as guilty as he is. He gives me a sad smile in response and I lay my head in his lap. 

“Oh Eita, you’re still just as sappy as ever.” He coddles, yet he’s the one that was mopping in his room. I don’t voice that though because I don’t want to hear his whining. Instead I laugh and snuggle closer into his lap. 

“By the way,” he says running his fingers through my hair, “who’s that out there talking to Iwaizumi?” 

“It’s Ushijima,” his fingers stutter in my hair and I smile to myself as he splutters. 

“Ah-what why is Ushijima with you?” I peak my eye up at him and I see his eyes roam across my body. 

“ _Semi Eita!_ You little minx!” He screeches. 

“Shh, shh Oikawa damnit!” I whisper frantically. 

“ _What?!_ How dare you hush me in my house Eita. Did you get some? Was it good? How big was he?! Do you know how long Tendou and I have waited for this moment!” I cover my ears from his questions and loud ass voice and I pray Iwaizumi has the television turned up so they don’t hear this embarrassing conversation. I know it’s futile. Oikawa could wake the damn dead with his pestering. 

“Got damnit Tooru.” I say exasperated, “Yes yes and yes. It was amazing, he was as fucking huge as I thought he was going to be and I couldn’t have asked for anything more.” He scrutinizes me for a second before voicing his question. I can count on one finger what he’s going to ask, and I’d bet my next paycheck on it. 

“Dom?” I roll my eyes at his dramatic whispering. We sound like school girls gossiping about our first time. 

“Yes Oikawa,” He squeals and my head rattles on legs from where he shakes them and opens his mouth, “Yes! He was fucking filthy.” His mouth snaps closed and he closes his eyes. 

“I won the bet.” He says triumphantly, “make sure you tell Tendou that!” He says when he opens his eyes and points his slender finger at me. That makes me sit up and I stare at him. 

“You guys seriously made a bet on that?” He looks as if I just slapped him. 

“Of course we did Semi! Do you see that hunk out there?” Rhetorical question, obviously I do. “Tendou had the nerve to say he didn’t have a single dirty thing in his mind, _pfft._ I was appalled, so it was only natural that we made a bet on it.” 

He says it as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, but I actually understand where he’s coming from. At first glance he did look like a tender lover, which he was until something snapped. He still looked as if he was still holding back though, I don’t voice that to Oikawa because he’s a slut for dirty information and he absolutely relishes in it. 

“Come on,” I say getting up and stretching my limbs, “lets go on in there. I’m sure they’re not talking about anything at all.” I feel a thousand times lighter and Oikawa seems to also because he springs up with a smile plastered on his face. Although, his arm stops me before I open the door and he pulls me into a hug. 

“I truly am sorry Eita. You’re my best friend and I really should have known better.” He says sincerely. I drop my head into the dip of his neck and take a deep breath. 

“It’s okay Tooru. I knew you meant well, I promise I’m okay now.” We stay there and hug each other and I breath in his scent. He smells like plum blossoms. The same scent that he’s always had ever since I first met him, and a sense of calm washes over me. 

“Okay,” he taps my back and we break apart, “enough with the sappy stuff. Let’s go meet your man.”

“Please don’t say anything embarrassing like that when we get out there.” I roll my eyes when he waggles his eyebrows because of course he’s going to. 

“Hello boys.” Oikawa says dramatically when he walks out of the room. Ushijima flicks his eyes between us and Iwaizumi, of course, is amused or relieved by Oikawa’s actions. 

“Everything okay?” Iwaizumi asks. 

“Of course it is. Do you doubt my skills in asking for forgiveness Iwa-chan?” He muses sitting right on his lap when there’s clearly enough room on the couch. Ushijima looks to me and I give him a small smile. 

“I wouldn’t doubt it Oikawa.” He says giving him a kiss on the lips. Oikawa makes eye contact with me and slips his tongue in Iwaizumi’s mouth and I fake a gag. 

“Okay. _Ew,_ we’re gonna go now that my job here is finished.” A lewd pop sounds the room when he backs off Iwaizumi’s lips, and I know for a fact he did that on purpose. Poor Ushijima is just sitting there with his eyes trained on the tv before he starts getting up. 

“Oh?” He mocks and I grab Ushijima’s hand before Oikawa makes a quip. It’s too late though, we’re like 15 steps away from the door. “You sure that’s the only reason you’re leaving Semisemi?” He taunts. 

“One of these days I’ll entertain you Shittykawa.” I say, taking one of the many names Iwaizumi preserves for him. Said person throws his head back and laughs, I even hear Ushijima chuckle. 

“How dare you Semi-chan. After everything you told me,” his hand flies to his heart when I turn back to give him a sly look. “It’s okay children. Go on and make up for lost time!”

“I regret forgiving you.” I say loudly from our spot at the door as we put our shoes on. 

“Love you too!” I smile as I open the door and Ushijima shakes his head amused. 

“What a lively friendship.” He says with a lilt to his voice. I feel a dread wash over me. 

“How much did you hear?” I ask reluctantly and he throws his head back and laughs out loud as we walk out of the door. It’s drizzling only a little, but it shouldn’t be too bad. We’re only a block from my place. 

“All of it.” He admits. I heave a sigh and shake my head. I feel my cheeks redden and I look up to the sky hoping the little raindrops will wash away my mortification. 

“It’s okay Semisemi,” he jokes wrapping his arm around me. “After all, I’m all you could have asked for.” He kisses my temple and my face burns crimson the whole way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to point this out bc I actually reread this after I got done, and you guys. The DIALOUGE. I used to feel so terrible in the beginning chapters posting bc I felt like my dialouge was so mediocre. I’m not all the way confident, but I’m honestly proud at how far I’ve come!! (个_个)


	15. Love Is So Nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew gets together to play volleyball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wouldn’t say this is a spoiler, but Tendou and Kawanishi are mentioned a lot in this chapter because of what I have planned for them. 
> 
>  
> 
> That’s all, I hope you enjoy it(＾ν＾)
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I figured out the perfect ending for this. So I regret to inform you that this fic is sadly coming to a close.

The weeks flew by after that crazy little fiasco. I hadn’t heard a word from Lev since then, thank goodness. I did find that letter he left me only to throw it in the trash thereafter. Everything went back to normal, or what my definition of normal is now. 

Ushijima and I have played the role of boyfriends now for about 3 weeks, ever since the day we got back to my house after Oikawa’s to be precise. We have spent almost every night together, either choosing to meet up at the gym or bookstore, whoever gets off first, and go to whoever’s house we didn’t go to the night before. We spend them watching classic movies to talking about nonsense, or falling into each other for hours. 

I had a fleeting thought cross my mind a few days ago when I was cleaning up, and found more clothes of his than my own scattered across the room, that maybe we’re moving to fast. I had voiced that same opinion to Oikawa and Tendou and they brushed it off. 

“You’re at that age now where you know what you want, go for it and don’t feel bad about it.” Oikawa said lounging across my couch. Tendou had obviously agreed. I still have been meaning to ask him what’s going on with him and Kawanishi. 

We’re on our way to the gym right now. It’s a beautiful Saturday morning. The people are lively, the sun is out and it’s not too hot. It’s the perfect day to play volleyball, even though we’ll be inside. 

“It feels like forever since we’ve played volleyball.” Tendou says stretching his arms in the air. 

“It has, its been like what? A month?” Oikawa asks. 

“The last time we played was when we had to take care of Ushijima.” I snicker and they both look at me with amused smiles. 

“By the way,” Tendou says squinting ahead of us, we just past the bookshop all we have to do is turn the corner and we’re there. “Where’s Iwaizumi?”

“Oh he went to meet up with Makki and Mattsun. He should be there when we make it.” 

“Ah, okay.” We turn the corner soon after and make our way into the gym where we see said people talking to Ushijima. 

“Hey guys!” Oikawa screeches and waves like he hasn’t seen them in eons, which in reality it has felt that long. We need to start getting together again like we used to. Iwaizumi rolls his eyes while Makki runs up to Oikawa. They hug each other dramatically doing fake cries and whales. Tendou and I walk to Ushi, Iwaizumi and Mattsun and say our greetings like normal people. 

“Hey babe.” Ushijima pulls me into a side hug kissing my forehead, and Matsukawa gives me a smirk before turning his eyes back to Makki and Oikawa who are walking back up to us now. 

“Hey,” I say back shyly, still unused to public display after the eons that I’ve been lonely, “we’re not interrupting you are we?” I glance around him and see that his kids are nowhere to be seen. 

“No. Kawanishi just took them outside so I have a few minutes to spare.” I flick my eyes to Tendou at the mention of his name, and sure enough his eyes slide to the back door where they go to play at the park outback. Oikawa seems to catch on too because he knocks his shoulder into Tendou’s and he blushes. 

“Well I guess we can start getting the net up,” Iwaizumi says. Ushijima, Iwaizumi And Mattsun leave and the rest of us go to the court that we usually play on. 

“So Tendou...” he throws his head back and sighs when Oikawa decides to speak up, “what’s going on between you and Kawanishi?”

“Ohhh, finally dabbling into the life of love are we?” Hanamaki muses shooting him a smirk when he brings his face down to glare. 

“It’s nothing really.” We all give him the side-eye at his blatant lie. “ _What?_ I can’t just have a friend? I’m hurt.” He says sniffling bringing his hand to his heart. 

“You have many friends, just none that make you blush.” I add. I also refrain from saying that Kawanishi already told me they were talking, that would just fuel Oikawa and Hanamaki more and while I love being around them, those are the last two you’d want to get started. Although they do shake their heads in agreement. 

“Yeah your probably right about that. It’s just,” He looks down at his feet and it’s the most vulnerable I’ve seen him look in a long time, “he hasn’t really voiced his feelings and I’m not one to pry. Though he is insanely gorgeous, and we shared a few kisses and holy shit-“

“ _What?!_ ” Oikawa screeches. 

“Wait a minute Satori, why didn’t we hear about this?” I scold him. After everything these guys have wrung out of me he decides to hold that back. Makki just looks amused, choosing to stand there with his arms crossed as Tendou splutters. 

“Well ya see, it wasn’t- like. Oh look,” he points and sure enough the guys come from out of the back room, equipment in hand.

“They saved your ass this time, but we’re not done.” I tell him as we walk over to help. 

We get everything set up in record time just as the back door flies open and the kids filter in. Their little screeches fill the empty gym and make us all smile. Kawanishi follows in after them after looking back making sure no ones behind him as he closes the door. He falters in his step when his eyes land on Tendou’s, and every pair of eyes follows. Poor Tendou, his face is as red as his hair and he turns around quickly going to get a ball in favor of the scrutinizing gazes. I try to find it in my heart to not feel smug, but after everything they put me through with Ushijima I’m absolutely relishing in this. 

“They’re all yours Wakatoshi,” Kawanishi says handing him a notepad. Ushijima takes it, albeit reluctantly and plants a kiss on my lips before walking away. 

“Okay. _Ew,_ ” Oikawa says. 

“I thought it was pretty hot.” Matsukawa says with a lilt. 

“It was, but anything that guy does would be hot.” Hanamaki says appreciatively, and I roll my eyes choosing to ignore their banter, and I walk to Tendou. 

“So you’re not gonna say hi?” I ask him as he spins the ball in his hands. 

“Why? Is he still there?” I flick my eyes casually behind us before answering him. 

“Nope. He’s not, probably walked away when he saw you blushing like a virgin. What’s up Tendou? You never act like this.” I say laying my hand on his shoulder to which he shrugs. 

“Ah, I don’t know. Let’s play some volleyball.” I decide to leave it at that for now, knowing we’ll have more time after we get done playing. 

We break up into teams of three- Oikawa, Iwaizumi and Hanamaki, and Tendou, Matsukawa and I- and we do Rock Paper Scissors to see who serves first. We lose of course, because as luck would have it we all are terrible at that stupid game. We should have flipped a coin instead. Oikawa takes it upon himself to serve first and he spins the ball in his hands giving us a smirk. 

“This is just for fun Oikawa!” Matsukawa yells. 

“Yeah yeah,” he throws the ball in the air and I know by the look on his face that he wouldn’t dare go easy on us either way. The ball sails through the air and Mattsun receives it perfectly, years of being on the same team together will do that, I walk easily under the ball and give a perfect set up to Tendou and he smacks the ball down before Hanamaki can get to it. 

We fall into a steady rhythm after that. We never keep score for our little “practice matches” instead choosing to fall into the fun banter we have, mocking each other on mishaps, or rubbing it into the other teams face when we do an incredible play. 

“Coach! Coach can we go watch them! Can we?!” One of the kids screeches before Iwaizumi’s serve. We whip our head to the sound to see it’s the little kid that knocked Ushijima out. He tugs on the bottom of his shirt while the other kids gather around him to join in. 

“Okay.” I hear him say as if he could resist them. Their little cries of happiness almost distract us from hearing Iwaizumi say he’s serving and we turn just in time to continue playing. 

“Make sure you sit on the sidelines! Don’t distract them.” Ushijima says, and hearing him speak with that authority almost distracts me and I give Mattsun a terrible pass. 

“That was my bad.” I say out after he almost flubs the spike. 

“Don’t get distracted Semisemi~” Oikawa singsongs on the other side of the net, mocking Ushijima’s words. 

I trade spots with Tendou as Matsukawa one touches Iwaizumi’s spike and he sets it up instead of receiving, and I send it flying past Oikawa. 

“You little shit, you did that on purpose.” He says confrontationally walking up to the net and Iwaizumi smacks him in the head. 

“The _kids_ Tooru. Watch your mouth.” His tone books no room for argument and he pouts instead of responding while we all snicker. I glance off to the side as Hanamaki rolls the ball to Mattsun to see Ushijima casually leaning back against the bench. He smirks when he catches my eye and I honestly should have known he’d be watching, but I hoped in some way he wouldn’t be so that I could have saved myself from getting flustered. 

We do a few more set ups before we call an end to the game, and we all sidle off to the side of the net where we get bombarded with questions from the kids. I guess we were all too absorbed that we forgot they had been watching, but they obviously made sure we didn’t. 

“That was cool!” Screeches Hinata? I remember him being the one Tendou took to, and sure enough he does again when he ruffles the top of his head. 

“Thanks kid, what position do you play?”

“I’m a middle blocker.” He says triumphantly and Tendou’s eyes widen. Well, all of our eyes widen. What a little kid and he plays such a big role. “Is that so kid?”

“Uh Huh, I’m the bestest. Even coach thinks so, isn’t that right Coach Ushishima?” 

“Heyy! No fair, I’m better than you Hi _baka_.” The raven haired kid says spitting out his tongue. _These two,_ I think to myself, _it’s always these two going back and forth with each other._ Ushijima intervenes moving the two away from each other. 

“Hinata, it’s best not bestest,” he says with a hint of exasperation like he repeats it more times than he should have to, “and all of you are amazing, not just you.” He pats his head and the kid still smiles triumphantly like he just told him he’s the greatest in the world. “And Kageyama what did I tell you about that nickname?” Said kid looks down at his feet, and it’s honest to goodness the cutest little pout. I don’t see how he can coach these cuties without giving into them at every turn. 

“I’m sorry coach, I won’t say it again.” 

“It’s okay.” He says with a fond smile, “now you all go on and play. Your parents will be here in a little while to get you.” They all say their _yays_ before their off grabbing balls or running around the big gym. 

“They’re very fond of you aren’t they?” Matsukawa says appreciatively, watching as the kids fly about across the gym. 

“Yeah. I’ve had them since they started out a few years back.” 

“The picture perfect parent, aren’t you Ushijima?” Oikawa quips giving a smug smile when both of our faces burn. He basically just expressed my forbidden thoughts and when we get alone I’ll strangle him for it. 

“Stop it,” Iwaizumi scolds, “we’re gonna go get something to eat. You coming also?” 

“Nah, I’ll just stay here until Ushi gets off.”

“Yeah. I’ll think I’ll stay also.” Tendou says, everybody turns at that. I don’t know if we’re more surprised at the fact that he’s turning down food or the fact that we even forgot he was here because of how quiet he’s been. 

“Ohhh...kay.” Oikawa says with his eyes flicking between both of us. “Well then. I guess we’ll be off.” We say our goodbyes promising we’ll do this again also, and their off walking out of the door. I almost feel bad for Iwaizumi, almost. Matsukawa, Oikawa and Hanamaki together spells pure trouble and it’s completely his fault for suggesting food. 

“I’m going to go put this stuff in the office,” Ushijima says holding up the notepad, “I’ll be quick.” Now that Tendou and I are alone I ask the question that’s been bothering me. 

“Have you and Kawanishi done anything?” I ask peering into his eyes. Tendou is a terrible liar, only because his face is a dead giveaway. He only has a perfect poker face if he’s the one that brings up the subject, which is why his face flushes and he begins to trip over his words. 

“What makes you say that Semi? Why would you even think that?” His eyes venture off behind me and my eyes widen. 

“You did! You totally _did!_ Wow really Satori.” I slap his shoulder and he brings his hand up and plays with the hairs at the back of his neck. 

“Ah man,” he takes a deep breath and finally looks at me, “I was about to tell you guys, but I don’t know why I kept it a secret. I honestly thought it was a fling. I mean really who wants _me?_ ” He says like it’s really so hard to believe somebody would find him attractive. I heave a sigh and wrap my arm around his shoulder. 

“It’s not like you to act like this, even if you did think it was a fling. You’re a beautiful person Sacchan, who wouldn’t want to get lost in you?” His crimson eyes look terribly vulnerable and I give him a reassuring smile. “I mean it, you’re wonderful. And I’m sure he’s absolutely smitten with you.” My eyes catch Kawanishi’s and I smirk at him turning my eyes back to Tendou. “See look at him, he’s looking right at you. Go speak to him.” 

 

He looks like he’d rather crawl in a hole and die, if I’m being honest with myself, but they gave me the push with Ushijima and what kind of best friend would I be if I didn’t give him that same push? He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before turning and smiling at me. 

“Thanks Eita, I dunno what I’m so worried about, but thanks for that.” 

“Yeah yeah. I’m amazing I know, now go get your man.” He rolls his eyes but makes his way towards him. Ushijima walks out of the office just as Tendou goes so I decide to make my way to him, and we meet up just where some of the kids are playing a little game. 

“Got everything situated?”

“Yeah,” He looks down at me and smiles, “you know I clean up every time I get in or leave, but somehow my desk always finds a way to get unorganized throughout the day.”

“Maybe one of the kids are sneaking in doing the dirty work.” I whisper conspiratorially. He glances his eyes around before he leans down to my ear. 

“I wouldn’t put it passed them. You see that one right there,” He nods his head to the smallest kid I’ve ever seen in my life. He’s rolling around on the ground sporting a huge smile as he gets up screeching his perfection about a rolling thunder. I shake my head with an amused smile, “it’s probably him. You see Noya is the quickest kid you’ll ever meet, believe it or not. It’s all in the legs.” I throw my head back and laugh out loud, although I’m sure he’s being deathly serious. 

“Hey coach,” a little grey haired brown eyed boy comes up in front of us looking up at us like we’re skyscrapers, “‘s this your husband?”

“Suga!” A brown haired boy runs up to him looking appalled, what are they giving kids these days? “You can’t just ask people about their relationship status!” My face burns and my eyes widen because holy crap, what the hell does his kid know about relationship status’s. 

“Sorry sorry,” He gives a sly smirk and he’s off his way with the brown haired kid following behind him. 

“Ah I’m,” I turn my head to Ushi to see his cheeks are probably as red as my face, “these kids, you never know what they’re gonna say. I’m sorry about that.” I huff out a laugh. 

“It’s not your fault. I know how kids are.” And just then the door opens up and parents begin to filter in. It takes no time for the kids to screech their goodbyes to all the coaches and find their mom or dad. 

“Hey Semi,” I turn around at the sound of Tendou’s voice, “Ah, I’m gonna go on with Kawanishi.”

“That’s fine,” I say giving him a smirk, “be careful.”

“Real mature.” He rolls his eyes, but I see the blush creeping up on his ears when he turns around to leave. 

“So,” Ushijima’s voice rumbles along my ear as he wraps his hand around my waist. The kids have all gone and only a few coaches hang around, I see Tendou and Kawanishi taking their leave. Walking out of the door laughing together, it brings a smile to my face. “Your place or mine?”

“You’re absolutely insatiable,” I say smacking his hand, “but your place. I’m starving and I could go for one of your meals.”

“I’m wounded Semi, are you just using me for my food?” He snuggles into my neck and I wished I could see the boyish grin that I knew he had playing on his face. 

“I would never babe,” I turn my head to him and give him a kiss on his temple, “it’s only your body that I’m after.” I squeak when he bites my collarbone before he pulls away. 

“You know I’m in the mood to eat something else now.” We start walking towards the door and I huff out a laugh instead of giving over to his blatant temptation. 

“You’re a mad man Ushijima.” He laughs out loud and it’s such a beautiful sight that I almost lose my footing. 

He’s always gorgeous but the sight of him laughing, looking young and carefree makes me fall harder for him. I just might say I’m in love with him. And it’s so different than the love I felt before. It’s thriving and welcoming, and almost subtle that I didn’t even realize what it was at first. I smile right along with him as we walk out the double doors. Love is so nice.


	16. Love Belt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Semi learns of some new information

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah.....I have no excuses for this chapter.....You really don’t need to read this as it is seriously self indulgence. The first half is really all that matters, you can skip over the part after “—-“ bc it’s literally full ON SMUT that I can’t bring myself to be ashamed of???
> 
> Anyways, I hope you like it as always(^^)
> 
> Our time together is slowly dwindling down *sad tears*

We don’t even make it past the threshold before I’m on him and he’s picking me up to wrap my leg around his waist. 

“ _Ushi,_ ” I gasp when he grinds on me from the spot he has me against on the wall. Cock rubbing against mine through the fabric. He slides the flat of his tongue down my neck and sucks along the vein there and I let out a long moan. 

“Wakatoshi, have you ever thought of letting me top?” I ask in between a gasp of breath. He stops but his mouth still stays on me, so that’s why my eyes bulge out of my head when I hear the witty remark. 

“ _Oh hoho,_ now there’s a sight I’d _love_ to witness.” Ushijima latches off and heaves a sigh. If I had thought Oikawa had a key to Ushijima’s place I would have thought the snarky remark came from him. 

“At least let yourself be known Kuroo.” Ushijima says exasperated, he sets me on the floor and knocks his forehead against mine calming himself down before he moves around the corner. 

“That’s no way to treat your favorite person in the world Ushiwaka, no offense.” He smirks at me when I come around the corner. I waft my hand trough the air, already used to Kuroo’s antics, which doesn’t take long when your two best friends are exactly like him, and I make my way to the opposite side of the couch. 

“I think that’s debatable,” Ushijima whips back coming up behind me. 

“I’m hurt, and here I came to talk about your birthday.” My ears perk up at that, and I’m almost glad that he did interrupt us because that’s one thing I never thought to ask him. 

“Oh, and when’s the birthday?” I ask now interested, Kuroo gets a gleam in his eyes and he smirks as he leans down placing his arms on his knees. 

“You wanna join us?” His eyes practically glow in the dim light surrounding us, and I feel my face flush at his clear double meaning. 

“Tetsurou,” There’s no jealousy when Ushijima says his name, but the threatening undertone isn’t missed and Kuroo pushes himself off the couch. Provocative smile still in place. I’d slap it off his face, but clearly I’m a terrible person because it didn’t do anything except turn me on more. 

“I kid I kid, anyways. I’ll let you get back to your business, and I’ll talk about it later.” 

“Goodbye Kuroo, please lock the door on your way out.” He winks at us and throws a wave before he’s walking out of the door. Ushijima sighs and goes to the spot Kuroo was just occupying. 

“I’m going to have to change my locks one of these days.” 

“Ha, I probably wouldn’t get through one day without the guys somehow getting my keys and making a copy.” He looks like he understands what I say completely because that thoughtful look fades away replaced with a disappointed one. 

“And anyways,” I add, getting up from my spot to climb on top of him, “I don’t really care about that right now.”

“Oh yeah.” He rasps. I hum my acknowledgement and slide my lips over his. 

——

I wake the next morning with a comfortable heat surrounding me. My body moves on instinct and I try to get closer to the warm feeling. The voice hums and I feel it vibrate through me and my eyes pop open realizing it’s Ushijima’s mouth around me. _Holy fuck,_ oh shitgotdamnfuck. My hands fly in his hair when he takes me down his throat again humming like it’s the most delicious thing he’s ever had in his life. 

He looks up at me with hooded eyes when he slides off and licks around the tip, and mine roll to the back of my head as I grip his hair tighter. How can he be perfect at everything he does? He bobs his head down my cock slowly and pops off with a groan. 

“Eita,” my eyes slide down my figure and that’s when I see his hand working behind him. He gives me a sultry smile, taking my cock back into his mouth. A lump forms in my throat and I can’t do anything except watch those eyes peer up at me as he continues to hollow out his cheeks, and slide his fingers deeper inside of him. His moans echo around me and I feel my orgasm coming quicker than I would want it to. 

“Waka... _Wakatoshi fuck!_ Oh I’m about to come,” I grip his hair tighter and push him down further on my cock, but that’s not what he wants obviously because he slides off easily with my hands still tugging him and slides his hand around the base of my cock. “Wait no, _no_ what’re you doing- I was about to..”

My words die on my lips as he raises up on his knees, my hands losing the grip on his hair and gliding down his body. “I wanna ride you baby.” My breath hitches at his pleading tone and he somehow produces a condom from out of nowhere, tearing it open with his mouth and sliding it down my length. 

I have topped multiple times, all in college- none as beautifully divine or sculpted or even as dominant as Ushijima though. So seeing him slide his legs on either side of mine when I nod my head, and replace his fingers with the tip of my cock, is the biggest power play on my mind. He pushes my hips down when I try to grind up into him and he _tsks._

“So, so impatient Semisemi.” He slides down further on me, and feeling that tight wet heat almost makes me cum on the spot. I’ve never prided myself more on my self control seeing this powerful man slowly slide down on me as his hands skim across my body seeming to not get enough. He pauses to take a breath when I’m all the way in and my fingers grasp onto his hips tightly trying to calm down with him. 

“Touch me.” Ushijima sighs. It’s like a soft caress across me and I glide my hands around to his back feeling the muscles flex underneath my fingers as he starts a slow pace grinding on top of me. 

“I’ve wanted this,” I confess in between breaths, still keeping up a slow grind. “Seeing you underneath me like this.” I bite my lip holding in my whine, but it’s no use. Not when he’s staring up at me like that. Like somethings just snapped inside of him. His pupil drowns out the brown and I feel a shiver run down my spine. 

I usually don’t like bottoming, I honestly can’t remember the last time I felt the urge to do it until I met Semi. He’s a beautiful man, especially with lust clouding his vision. With a hand around his throat or his legs above his head, it’s a gorgeous sight that nothing can compare to. But I’ve often wondered what he’d look like throwing those tantalizing eyes on me as he fucks me deep. That hair covering his face, lip biting. It thrills me. And it only thrilled me more when he finally voiced that desire. 

I move my hands behind me on top of his thighs, putting my body on display as I make a show out of riding his cock. His eyes begin to roam around my body, scrutinizing each and every crevice of me and I squirm on top of him now feeling uncomfortable. 

“What’s wrong Wakatoshi?” He questions innocently, but he’s looking up at me like the devil himself. This is what I wanted, seeing him lose that thin strip of control since the tables have turned, but now that I have it I feel my hips falter and his hands fall to my waist holding on tighter. 

“Can’t speak now?” He murmurs smirking up at me, thrusting me down onto his cock. 

“ _Hng-_ Eita.”

“Feels good doesn’t it?” He slides his hand up to my chest flicking a nipple, “doesn’t it Wakatoshi?” I whimper when he does it again and nod my head as he continues thrusting inside of me. 

I let my head loll back and continue groaning out incoherent _Eita’s_ to the ceiling like a silent prayer. I never thought giving over could feel so good, but feeling his cock slide in and out of me has me wishing he won’t stop. 

“You look so fucking pretty,” I roll my eyes down to his just as he slides his fingers over my lips. “Suck them.” My eyes widen at the command and I open my mouth so he can slide his fingers in. 

“Damn you look so good like that.” His voice is raspy, clouded with sex and full of a dominance that I’ve never heard before and it feels like my whole body flushes. He curls his fingers in my mouth as he grinds deeply inside of me before sliding them out. A string of saliva chases after them and he slides it down my chin to my chest and he’s grasping onto my cock, tugging me down harder on him. 

“ _Oh yes Eita_ ,” it sounds like a sob when the moan spills from my lips and he looks like he absolutely relishes in it. He slides his hand down my cock and starts jerking off in time with his thrust until I feel that familiar heat pooling in my stomach. 

“You’re about to cum baby?” He growls out hitting me right against my spot. 

“Yes, _yes!_ ”

“Ask for it.” 

“L-let me cum baby, please..” He could’ve asked me to give him the world and I would have did it. He could’ve asked me for absolutely anything and I would have found a way to give it to him when he looked up at me with those brown eyes full of passion. 

“Good boy.” He moans flicking his wrist right when he hits that sweet spot deep inside of me and that’s all it takes for me to reach my orgasm, moaning _Eitaeitaeita_. I feel like I’ve blacked out for a second, hovering over a euphoria that I haven’t felt in so long, now being sated. 

I let out a soft gasp when my back hits the mattress, if I had been in my right mind I would have been impressed by Eita switching our positions. But the only thing I care about right now is how devilishly sexy he looks using my body to chase after his orgasm. He brings his hand up to his mouth and licks the cum that he caught in it from my orgasm, and I moan at the sight. I never thought he could get so _dirty._

“Taste so good Wakatoshi.” He groans out bringing his hands to my legs and raising them up. I would have been absolutely disgusted by the wet drag of his hand had I been in my right mind, but the new position he had me in makes everything fade from around me. 

“ _Fuck_ you feel so good sucking me in,” he licks a long stripe up my calf, latching onto the dip in my knee and I fucking _mewl_ as he continues to thrust into me even after my orgasm. 

“What a pretty sound coming from you,” His voice rattled letting me know I’m not the only one losing my mind, “You like this don’t you? Feeling _used,_ when was the last time you felt like this Wakatoshi?” I feel like every nerve I have is standing on end and it feels like absolute torture. How he thrust deeper inside of me like he can somehow find a different angle to wreck me in. Those dirty words and half slitted eyes, I feel like he’s looking into every dark fantasy I’ve ever had of this moment. 

“It’s mine.” The possessiveness in his tone sends gooseflesh across my body and he leans down and kisses me. It’s sloppy, all lips and tongue, and I feel his hips falter a little before he breaks away with a gasp. He looks absolutely wrecked. 

“I want, I want to swallow it.” I manage to gasp out, and his eyes nearly bulge out of his head. “Please Eita, let me taste you.” 

“ _Fuck,_ ” He gasp sliding out of me and removing the condom, “Arms up,” he snaps and my body’s moving on it’s own as he climbs on top of me, grabbing the headboard. Legs on either side of my arms caging me in, and fingers prying my mouth open. I feel my cock twitch when he slaps his on my tongue. It’s hot and heavy, and taste like latex, but it spikes my heart rate up all the same. I bring my head up and lick the flat of my tongue on his slit before sliding the tip into my mouth. 

“Just like that baby, _nghh_ Ushi-Wakatoshi, I’m _I’m.._ ” I look up at him as the first spurts land on my tongue and slide down my throat, I swallow it all savoring the taste. It’s salty and sweet and absolutely addicting. I wrap my lips around his cock and bob my head down slowly before hollowing my cheeks out and doing it again, milking him of everything he has to give me. 

“ _Hng_ too much baby,” He whimpers. I want to wring him out, drive him crazy like how he had me. I slacken my jaw and take him deeper and I feel him jerk. A stinging sensation rings on my cheek and I turn wide eyes up to Eita. It was a light slap enough to get my attention, and that’s exactly what it does. 

“I said stop boy.” He jerks out of my mouth with a wet pop. Saliva and cum dribbling out with his cocks absence. Apparently I’m as sick as I thought I was because I found that fucking hot, especially the way his ash blonde tips stick to his forehead and his eyes half slitted looking glazed over. He huffs out a laugh before gliding back down my body and falling onto my chest. 

“Holy shit Ushijima.” His voice sounds like it’s been drug through gravel. That authoritative tone, those hard eyes all gone. He’s soft and pliant as I bring my arms back down, after wiping my mouth, to nuzzle into his hair. 

“How was it? Are you feeling okay Wakatoshi?” He looks up at me with those expressive eyes and I give him a small smile. 

“I might let you top more Angel.” His face flushes at that and he falls back onto my chest. 

“Ah, whatever.” Is muffled against my chest and I chuckle, “now let’s go back to sleep. I’m tired baby, I promise you can pamper me afterwards.” Semi knows how much I absolutely loathe not showering or bathing afterwards, but I feel exhaustion creeping back into my bones and I just hum an okay before kissing the top of his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah. Bottom Ushi is my thing now. This didn’t have to be as kinky(? I don’t think that’s the right word for it) but my mind seriously has a mind of its own when I start to write smut. 
> 
> Story time: I was writing this at WORK (why I walk myself into these things I never understand) and this guy came up behind me, unannounced and totally his fault, and yeah. I’m just gonna leave it at that. I’m sure you can imagine my mortification. If it’s anything to go by he said it was good, so there’s that. See you guys next time (ToT)


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of Ushijima’s birthday extravaganza
> 
> (Not really and extravaganza, that just makes it sound fancy and more appealing)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah........so I’d like to say this took a while bc I was planning and plotting but I was really just procrastinating hahahahh. I’m actually really very sad because this is coming to an end ):
> 
> Anyways before I start crying, this chapter is terrible to me lmao. Wow I took forever to write it and I don’t even like it? So thus is the life of a writer. I’m emotional and being judgemental on myself, but I think this chapter is actually very decent. So once again, I hope you guys like it. And until next time(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

I was just about to close for the evening on Thursday when I heard the bell ring from overhead. It was exceptionally slow today so I sent everyone home a few minutes ago, so of course someone would decide to come in now. I heave a sigh and make my way to the front to let myself be known, and before I call out my greeting I hear two very familiar voices. 

“Do you think he’s here? It’s quite in here Kuroo, who even comes to bookstores?” 

“That’s very reassuring Bokuto, thank you for that.” I say unenthusiastically coming around the corner. He has the nerve to look sheepish, and Kuroo just smiles. 

“And might I ask what you’re doing here? Since nobody comes to bookstores, apparently?” I sit in my usual spot behind the counter, head falling into the palms of my hands. I no longer have to worry about a professional appearance since it’s just these guys. 

“Well, you and Ushiwaka were...busy when I was over there. So I thought we’d stop by to talk to you about his birthday.” Kuroo says with a lilt to his voice. I want to smack that smirk off his face. 

“Okay,” I purse my lips and ignore his amused smile, “what did you guys have in mind?”

“There’s this old sushi place that we used to go to that he really loved,” Bokuto says and my face sours remembering that damn kid. 

“What? You know the place?” Kuroo asks now seeming interested. He comes and plops himself right on the counter and I make a disgusted face and move away. 

“Yes, I know the place and it was amazing besides the snotty waiter that we had.” Both of them look to each other, obviously picking through their mind to see who I was talking about before recognition dawns on their faces. 

“Oh ho.”

“Oh ho ho, Waka didn’t tell us about that.” Kuroo’s eyes look like they’re barely open as he slinks closer to me, Bokuto now immersed in the conversation, comes up and leans on the counter with his elbows. 

“He never tells us anything fun! So what happened with Shirabu?”

“He was a feisty one that guy, I bet he dealt you something good.”

“That’s none of your business,” I spit knowing damn well this is probably the exact reaction Kuroo wants, “and if you must know no he did not. That damn kid has some nerve. Now what time is it going to be?” 

“Oh? Did I push a but-“

“What time is it going to be Kuroo?” Effectively cutting him off. This guy pisses me off more than Oikawa sometimes, and that’s saying something. They just might be at neck and neck fighting for that first place spot. 

“Maybe around 5?” Bokuto says. 

“Nah that’s a bit too early.” Kuroo says with a contemplative look on his face. 

“You didn’t already have this situated?” They both turn to me when I ask the question and they’re facial expressions say it all. “If you didn’t have it figured out yet, why come and talk to me about it?”

“Well why wouldn’t we talk about it with you?” Bokuto genuinely looks confused when he asks that and I find I don’t have anything to say in return. 

“Believe it or not this is the first time Ushiwaka has really been serious about anyone. So maybe we might get carried away with involving you, but we’re happy for him and want to include you in what we do.” 

I feel my face heating up at that confession, and while he never really voiced at his past relations or relationships, I figured that to be so. But hearing it come from two of Ushijima’s closest friends makes me get butterflies in the pit of my stomach. Luckily we continue on with the conversation after that. It flows easily well past my closing time, and I find I quite enjoy their company. The easy banter that we quickly picked up with each other. They choose to stay behind to help me close up, and walk me home afterwards promising to keep in touch until the following weekend. 

——

It’s been a week since I’ve seen Semi. To say he’s been avoiding me would be putting it lightly, considering that Kuroo has made it a point to tell me he’s been speaking with him. Jealousy is the last thing on my mind especially since I know it has to deal with my birthday. I specifically told them I wanted nothing special done, so the fact that everything is being done in hushed tones behind my back makes me question if they took my own advice. 

Today has been exceptionally worse, even the coaches at the gym were avoiding me making my suspicions run higher. All of the kids had gotten together at some point and made a Happy Birthday poster for me. Signing their little scribble scrabbles across it, along with tiny hand marks next to it. It was adorable, I had tried and failed to hold in my smile when they ran up to me and started singing around me. Now that poster is laying atop my desk while I’m laying in bed staring at the ceiling. 

I wonder for the ninth time if I should call Semi and ask if I made him mad in some way. That question leaves my mind quickly as I hear the front door unlocking and Kuroo yelling out a greeting. 

“Oh dear Ushiwaka, what’re you still doing in bed?” Unfortunately for me, Kuroo is the only person that had not been avoiding me this week. I raise my head slightly from the bed and see him giving me an amused smile. 

“Is there some place I should be right now?” 

“Did I forget to mention we were going out? What a shame, that’s completely my fault.” There’s not a doubt in my mind that he neglected to tell me that as he makes his way to my closet. He’s styled to perfection, also a dead giveaway that he knew he didn’t mention it to me, before pulling out an outfit he had obviously snuck in here to get ready for me at some point. 

“I’m going to have to make it a point to change my locks.” I tell him as he sets the outfit on my bed. His hand swipes through the air before giving me a defiant look. 

“Nonsense Ushi, I’d just sneak your keys away and make another copy.” He says matter of factly, and I’m reminded of the conversation I had with Semi a few weeks back. “Now get up and get ready. Yes I know you’ve taken a shower already, and no you do not have a choice.” He walks smoothly out of the room, closing the door on his way out and I heave a sigh. 

I run my hands down my face before getting up and changing into the outfit he picked out. If there’s one thing Kuroo has always had a knack for, its picking out amazing outfits. I like to say that I have great taste in style, but every time he comes around I always feel a sense of shame roll through me. 

I have no complaints with tonight’s outfit. It’s a short sleeved black button up, that I definitely do not remember having, and some pinstriped black pants that I got ages ago for some event Bokuto drug me to. The shirt is tighter than what it looks, but it’s extremely comfortable, and I never had any problems with the pants. They’re not too tight or too baggy, not really on the casual side or formal side, I just never had a chance to wear them again. And if I’m being honest I forgot I had them, and maybe that’s why Kuroo chose them tonight. I finish off the outfit with a dab of cologne and walk out to where Kuroo is lounging on the bar. 

“Holy shit man,” he says hopping off the stool, “You look hot as hell, Semi has some great taste.”

“Semi chose this outfit?”

“Anyways.. time to get going, it’s slipping past us with every passing minute. Come on Ushiwaka.” He says deftly avoiding my question. I grab my wallet, phone and keys and lock the doors before he’s dragging me off to the subway. There’s not a cloud insight as I can see from my spot by the window, and for a Friday evening it’s unusually quiet.

“So,” I say turning to Kuroo. He’s facing forward in his phone and when I start speaking he puts it away casually, “I take it you’re not gonna tell me where we’re going?”

“Eh, it’s no place special really.” That neither answers my question or gives me a hint as to where we’re going so I choose to face back towards to window. The announcer overhead calls out the next destination , and when I see Kuroo standing up I know exactly where we’re going. 

“You know all you had to do was tell me we were going here, it’s not exactly any place new.” I say once we get out of the station. 

“Yes I know that Ushiwaka, but where’s the fun in that?” He points out, “it’s been ages since we’ve been here. Humor me.” I decide not to point out that I’ve been here with Semi recently, with them talking together I’m sure he knows that anyways. We fall into a comfortable silence after that. 

I try not to pay attention to the fact that Kuroo is occupied in his phone, and instead focus on how much has changed since I had last been out here. I wonder if Semi is going to be at the restaurant when we get there, and if he’s noticed the change in the Sakura trees. How lively and bright everything once was. The park is still filled with people no matter the season though, and I wonder if he found that as endearing as I do. I don’t need to know if he’s actually there or not, I feel as if we walked down the same exact path Kuroo and I are walking to get there. 

“How did you know you were in love with Kenma?” The question must have shocked him because he falters a little before putting his phone away. We’re only a little ways away from the restaurant now, but that still doesn’t stop my curiosity. 

“I don’t know really,” he answers truthfully, “everybody is different though. We had spent so much time together and before I had known it, I realized I was in love with him and running to you about it.”

I smile remembering when he had come to me to vent about it. There had been a lot of doubts about it, I had thought it was because of how timid Kenma had been. That maybe he’d run away when Kuroo told him how he felt, but Kuroo had said it was because he didn’t think he deserved such a pure persons love. I didn’t understand what he meant then, but now I understand exactly what he means. 

“The infamous Ushiwaka-chan has found love at last.”

“Don’t say it like that, and don’t call me that Kuroo.” I don’t deny him though because maybe I have found love. I had thought it’d be like two hurricanes forming together, but it was light, almost nonexistent. Like the feathering kiss of a light rain, you know it’s there because you can feel it but you still have to ask yourself if it’s there or not. He smiles fondly at me when I say nothing more about it, and we cross the street before he’s opening up the door to the restaurant. 

“After you,” He bows dramatically and I roll my eyes and walk in to see three tables pulled together almost filled with friends. They all screech Happy Birthday, and the stray people sitting at tables or booths turn to face us and smile, clearly amused. But I feel my face flaming up at the clear unwanted attention. Kuroo puts his hand on my back pushing me towards the table. 

“Bet you’re surprised aren’t you Ushiwaka!” Bokuto booms as we get closer, Akaashi shakes his head next to him but doesn’t tell him to quiet down. Not like he would anyways. 

“I’m not shocked in the least. Kuroo told me you all would be here.” Every single face is priceless when I say it and Kuroo gasps beside me. 

“That’s not true!” He says pushing my shoulder, “I had my lips locked, Tell them Ushi!” He sounds exactly like a child would, and I decide to save him by telling the truth. 

I make my way around the table hugging, and saying thank you’s before going to the obvious spot that was saved for me at the head of the table. Coach Reon and Kawanishi are here flanking one side of the table, Bokuto and Akaashi, I see they even got Kenma here are all on the other side that Kuroo sits on. Whether he actually wants to be here or not I don’t know, but he looks comfortable and for that I’m thankful. The only person I don’t see is Semi, and I try to hide my disappointment at that. 

“So should we start off with a round of Sake?” Bokuto asks. 

“Um, Bokuto maybe we should eat first.” Kenma says, Akaashi nods his head in agreement. 

“Of course not! Ushiwaka is 27 we don’t eat before we drink anymore.”

“Bokuto my birthday is tomorrow, and please don’t yell out my age like that it makes me feel old.” Everyone laughs at my honesty and he goes to open his mouth just as the bell chimes for the door. I almost jump out of my seat to see if it’s Semi, but I refrain, barely. 

“See we made it in time, they aren’t even eating yet!” Tendou says, everyone turns their head to the door watching the small group arrive. 

“Yeah barely, no telling how long they had to wait.” Oikawa says following after him, looking exasperated. 

“Well who’s fault would that be exactly, you’d think it was your birthday with how many times you changed your own outfit.” My ears perk up when I hear Semi’s remark, and they make it around the small corner carrying all types of balloons and a cake with some small presents. Kuroo stands up to help with the cake and presents, setting them on a small table I didn’t realize before that was holding other presents. 

They make it around the table saying hello to everyone. Tendou scooting in next to Kawanishi, and Oikawa sitting down on the other side of him. I want to ask him why Iwaizumi didn’t join him, but I find myself rendered speechless when Semi walks up to me. His hand slides around my back before he leans down and kisses my cheek. 

“Sorry we’re late,” he says taking the seat left open beside me. I see every word leave his mouth, but all I can manage is a small nod. To say he looks sexy would be a grossed understatement. 

Alluring, desirable, tempting. Those are all the words that come to mind. He has on skin tight jeans that make his long legs look endless paired with black boots that have more buckles than one should have, but he wears them with perfection. His pale pink shirt, the color of his cheeks when he realizes me staring, is tucked into those jeans and has an appealing harness over it that makes sex come to mind. It makes me realize that I no longer want to be here, or maybe he wouldn’t mind if I bent-

“Ushijimaaaa!” Kuroo singsongs from the other end of the table, I tear my eyes away from that mouthwatering piece Semi has on and see every pair of eyes full of amusement. 

“Ah,” I clear my throat and look past those mischievous eyes just as Shirabu is coming around the corner. He flicks his eyes across the table before he says his greetings, passing out menus. 

“Good evening, I hope you’re enjoying yourselves tonight. And happy birthday Ushijima.” He says when he makes it to my end. 

“Thank you.” 

“And what can I start you all off with tonight?”

“We’ll start off with a round of sake!” Bokuto shouts and almost everyone heaves a sigh. 

“Oh! What fun,” Oikawa says from beside him. Shirabu looks around the table, obviously waiting for someone to interject because who orders alcohol first instead of food. When he sees no one else piping up he gives a slight nod before going on his way. 

“I hope the shirts not too tight on you.” Semi says after everyone else lapses into conversation, I leave out the quiet part because Bokuto and Kuroo are here. Now paired with Tendou and Oikawa. 

“It’s not tight at all. It’s quite comfortable actually.”

“That’s good that’s good, I guessed on the sizing of it since Kuroo was being difficult, but it looks good on you.” His eyes roam appreciatively down the shirt. 

“I’m flattered Semi, thank you.” 

“Alrighty!” Shirabu says signaling his arrival once again. Semi mutters something under his breath as he makes it around the table, plopping glasses of water down before going back off again to get the sake and its cups. “So have we decided on anything to eat?” He asks hopefully, Kuroo signals him down his way and talks to him while Shirabu writes in his little notepad. 

“By the way Semi,” I say leaning closer to him to get his attention away from Shirabu. “How fast do you think I could get this off of you tonight?” I hear the slight hitch in his breath and I back away seeing that beautiful flush make it’s way across his face. 

It’s always so easy to make him blush, a feat that I like to exploit at anytime, but being around all these people. Seeing Shirabu’s eye slightly twitch in annoyance, and Kuroo’s sly smirk because he knows what for, even if his head wasn’t turned an inch to see what ticked him off. Makes me want to see how easy it will be to make him squirm. Really I could say it’s to keep his mind off of Shirabu, which I know it’s true. But it’s actually just for my enjoyment. Happy Birthday to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many holes in this chapter I feel like??????   
> Anyways, I’ll do my best with this next chapter. So either that’s going to be the last one or the one after it will be. I’ll probably try and indulge myself w these two again before I make this story come to an end（ゝ。∂）


	18. Orbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushijima’s birthday dinner continues. And Semi gets a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is completely self-indulgent (the end specifically). I’m not yet ready to let this ship sail, so I’m tying things into this story that I can feed off into little one shots. 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyways. THE NEXT CHAPTER IS THE LAST ONE!!!!!! I could cryyyyyyy. I’m really not ready for this. 
> 
> But I hope you like the chapter(个_个)

The party was going fairly smooth, not like I had any doubt about that. I did come to the conclusion that Oikawa and Tendou should never be around Bokuto and Kuroo again. They are on there 20-something conversation about who knows what, I’d like to say I would be paying attention to it, but the hand that casually keeps sliding further up my thigh refrains me from putting my input in on the mundane topic. 

“Don’t you think we should cut the cake now?” Reon questions. It’s the first time I’ve heard him speak all night, although I doubt it has been, and it comes at the worst time possible because Ushijima’s hand brushes against my cock. 

“Oh, that’s a great idea!” Oikawa says effectively cutting off the tiny squeak that escaped me. I’ve never been more thankful for his loud ass voice in my life. It didn’t get lost on Ushi though, he slides his free hand up to his mouth and hides his smirk behind it. There’s not a doubt in my mind that he did that on purpose. 

“Yeah that is a good idea. Semi how about you get that?” My face flames up at his suggestion and I turn wide eyes to him. The little shit has the nerve to snicker, he’s enjoying this and I have no idea what I did to deserve it. 

“You’re a terrible man Ushiwaka.” Kuroo quips. His head is leaning on the palm of his hand, mischievous smirk in place, and I could bet my little toe that he knew exactly what he was doing to me. 

“No idea what you’re talking about Kuroo, are you going to get the cake Semi?” He says it so nonchalantly, as if he’s discussing the weather. There’s nothing but pure challenge in his eyes. I know if I stand up right now everybody would be able to see the outlining of my hard cock. It’s not the first time I’ve questioned my existence in this life as I close my eyes and take a deep breath. 

“Of course Ushijima.” My voice sounds strained even to my own ears and it makes me flush more in humiliation. But I’m not one to back down from a challenge. Damn my stubborn pride. 

The mind is quite a terrible thing. Absolutely nobody had any clue, nobody really even paid attention to me as I slid my chair back instead of getting up to get the cake from behind me, but it felt as if every pair of eyes was on me in that moment. Like everybody knew exactly what Ushijima was doing to me under the table, and instead of feeling shame for it I was feeling irrevocably turned on. I hate myself. 

I set the cake on the table with extraordinary care even though my mind is going haywire. A tap on my shoulder catches my attention and my head whips to the slender frame next to me. I had forgotten Akaashi was sitting right next to me. My breath hitches at the look in those piercing steel eyes. I feel like I’m about to get scolded, gooseflesh breaks out along my skin as I lean closer to him. His breath brushes along my ear and his palm lands on my shoulder where he just tapped me. I wonder for a second if he’s had too much to drink, but we’ve only had about 2 cups each so I know he’s not. 

“You’re making it obvious Semi,” His smooth voice whispers into my ear. I know I am, I can’t deny that at all and I feel mortified. “You know...” Those two little words faded off holding so much suggestion and my eyes flick to where Bokuto is. He’s blissfully unaware of how Akaashi’s hand tightens on my shoulder, instead focusing on the conversation around him. 

“We can cut the cake now.” Ushijima says, cutting off whatever it was Akaashi was going to say. He leans back as if the moment never even happened. The cold hitting my shoulder where his warm hand was. Ushijima had seen the moment though, a fleeting expression crossing his features that I would have missed if I was as unaware like Bokuto. But I had seen it. 

“Let’s do a toast! Let’s say a toast!” Bokuto practically screeches. His cheeks are rosy when I turn my head to look at him and he has the same smile plastered on his face that he always has. 

“Ugh, for the love of everything in this world, let’s not.” Kawanishi sighs. 

“Hey Shirabu!” Kuroo calls out getting up from his seat and looking behind him. There’s a huff and some mumbling before we hear his little feet moving. 

“You know you could always just get up instead of yelling. This is a restaurant Kuroo, have some respect for the people around you.” Shirabu scolds. 

“Can we have a knife for the cake please?” He asks sweetly as if he didn’t just ignore every word of Shirabu’s advice. Little snickers form around the table, and Shirabu stalks away looking every bit of pissed off. He looks as if he has no problem getting that knife now, and I suddenly want to tell Kuroo that he should maybe move for safety reasons. Either he reads my mind, or he just chooses to follow his sixth sense, he gets up from the table and walks around to where Ushijima is. 

“Don’t ya think we should open the presents before cutting the cake?” Tendou voices. 

“Huh, Maybe you’re right about that.” Kuroo makes his way to the table behind me. “Now which one should we start with....”

“It doesn’t matter, I didn’t expect to get any presents anyways.” There’s not a hint of rudeness when Ushijima says the comment, if anything he looks completely flustered like he had no clue birthdays consisted of getting gifts. 

“No point in going on about it now, they’re already here.” Kawanishi says. 

“Yeah. I suppose you’re right.”

“Alright! Let’s start with this one,” Kuroo says. He shakes the box with curiosity before passing it over to Ushijima. 

“I think you’re supposed to leave the box shaking to me Kuroo. It’s mine anyways.”

“Yeah yeah. What’s yours is mine, you know?”

“Isn’t that supposed to be what Semi says though?” I shake my head at Bokuto’s obvious question and Ushijima just laughs as he opens the gift. 

“Here’s your knife.” Shirabu strolls around the corner. He looks at Kuroo’s empty seat before looking up to see Ushijima opening up his presents. He could’ve chunked the knife down here and I wouldn’t have given a shit as long as he didn’t ogle Ushijima like that in front of me. 

“I’ll take it.” Kenma says reaching his hand out to take the knife from him, and he sets it on the table. Shirabu smirks at me before walking away. I really loathe that damn kid. 

Ushijima continues to open present after present. A cute little volleyball keychain from Reon was in the box, Oikawa and Tendou got him an outfit that I may or may not steal the sweater to. It’s a nice tan chunky knit sweater that looks like it could be the start of world peace. Akaashi had gotten him a painting, or I thought he got it, he actually painted it himself. I feel a surge of jealousy run through me. Of course this beautifully gorgeous man would have such an envious talent. 

“I doubt you have anything on the walls in your house. It needs more color.” Akaashi had said. He was absolutely right too. It was a beautiful painting. Watercolored cherry trees came to life on the canvas. A pretty little stream running through them. It reminded me of the first date Ushijima and I shared, and I wondered if that was intentional. 

“My Keiji is wonderful isn’t he.” Bokuto boasts. The pride clear in his voice. 

“Hush Bokuto, And please don’t have anything else to drink.” Akaashi says deflecting the praise, though his cheeks turn a slight pink. The only giveaway that his words got to him. Ushijima agrees with Bokuto as Kuroo passes him another present. 

There’s something to be said as you get older. The presents seem to lose meaning or they give you a new meaning into your new age of life. Some presents will be forgotten, most will be cherished. One never really thinks about such things whenever you actually purchase the gift, but who really does. 

“I’m not really good with presents,” Kenma says as Ushijima pulls the tiny little book out of the bag. “I had Kuroo get all of them together, so maybe this is really his gift just with my thought. I hope you like it.” 

Said gift is a tiny little booklet filled with pictures. It must have been years since Ushijima had seen most of them, because he gets a beautifully nostalgic look on his face as he turns page after page. 

“Ah man.” He says stopping on one picture. “Thank you Kenma. I love it.” He looks up and gives him that boyish smile I’m so fond of, and Kenma just says a quiet welcome in return. 

“Okay, enough of the sappy moment.” Kuroo says, though he looks at Kenma with an appreciative smile. “This one is from your best guys.” He drops the gift into his lap taking away the photo album, choosing to glance at some of the pictures before setting it back on the table with care. 

Ushijima rips the wrapping off, and I think everybody raises out of their seat or holds their breath anxious to see what it was they got him. Ushijima peaks through it just to be on the safe side first, and I guess that was the wisest decision because he snaps the lid back on before tossing it onto the table with perfect precision. The trio doubles over in laughter and I don’t think anybody wants to know what’s in there. 

“I don’t know why I insist on accepting gifts from you three.” Ushijima says with a hint of regret, a shade of pink crawling up his neck onto his face. 

“Ah, you don’t mean that Ushiwaka.” Bokuto says with amusement. 

“Besides it’s more for him than for you.” Kawanishi points out. My eyes widen at the sudden revelation, and now I’m very curious to see what’s in the box. 

“Anyways Anyways,” Kuroo says looking down on me with amusement, “this last gift’s from your lover.” There’s a lilt in his voice that has me feeling nervous for no reason at all. I had told Kuroo what I was thinking of getting him, since he’s childhood friends with him I figured running it by him would be the easiest decision for myself. It’s a fairly simple gift if I must say so. 

Akaashi hums thoughtfully behind me when Ushijima takes the book out. It’s a T.S. Eliot book filled with his different poems. I could’ve went with something more romantic, but that didn’t seem right for Ushijima. 

 

“I didn’t really know what to get you. A book was the only thing I could think of...” I say sheepishly as he flips through some of the pages. 

“That doesn’t matter to me Semi,” as if I was just spouting pure nonsense. “Anything from you is a treasure.” I feel myself blush as he leans in and kisses my cheek. It doesn’t help at all that he said that in front of everyone. They make sure to make the most out of the moment by doing embarrassing squeals and little _awes._

“Whatever. Now let’s have some cake, stop being embarrassing.” I get a sense of delight when he sets the book next to him, instead of handing it to Kuroo to place on the table before he walks away. 

Kenma hands the knife down to Akaashi and his hand brushes up against mine as he sets it down. It could have been a mistake, it most likely was. But I still falter slightly from my task of putting the candles in the cake, it was minuscule but enough to make Ushijima squeeze my thigh. What on Earth is going on. 

“Okay!” Ignoring the two pairs of eyes trained on me, I stand up producing the lighter from out of my pocket and begin to light each candle before I slide the cake closer to Ushijima. He has a certain charm to his expression, and I really try my hardest not to look back to see what that look is for. Or _why he even has that look._

“You all can start singing Happy Birthday at anytime.” I tell them ignoring that stab of something in my stomach, and that was the only push they needed before they begin a drunken rendition of Happy Birthday. It’s terrible, if I put it lightly. You can hear the costumers laughs on the other side of us as one person gets louder and a few others try to sing louder than the other. It’s hard to distinguish which voice belongs to who, but it’s luckily over with before it comes to that point and Ushijima blows out his candles. 

I’m almost surprised Shirabu doesn’t come waltzing up to our table to give us a piece of his mind as I begin cutting the cake. The table falls into a comfortable silence as we start eating the cake, excluding me. I hate cake with a passion so I decide to continue eating the sushi and polish off my sake. 

“This is delicious Semi,” Akaashi hums in appreciation. 

“Thank you, Oikawa goes to this bakery all the time so we were able to get a nice price on it.”

“Yeah, since he can’t cook he has to find a good place to eat all the time.” Tendou whips back smirking at Oikawa who rolls his eyes. 

“I won’t stoop to your low level of bashing me just to make yourself feel better Sacchan.” He huffs shoveling the rest of his cake in his mouth. Tendou covers his mouth and snickers. 

“Ah, well this line of conversation is entertaining but I’m going to go to the restroom. Excuse me.” My hands are sticky from the sickeningly sweet cake and it makes me feel grimy. 

“I’ll go with you.” I don’t have to look back to know who it was that said that. Ushijima leans back in his chair looking at Akaashi with an entertained smile. He grabs his arm as he passes and says something low enough in his ear where nobody can hear him. 

I don’t know whether to be impressed or exasperated that Bokuto seems so indifferent, but I decide to let it go and make my way to the restroom. I look around seeing Shirabu behind the counter, hopefully he won’t try to get a bighead this time and try to corner me out of the restroom. Instead he ignores my existence and gets back to work. The sound of light footsteps come up behind me just as Akaashi stands next to me. 

“You’ve been exceptionally fond of me tonight.”

“That’s nonsense. I’m always fond of you I just never voice it. I’m not like Bokuto after all.” He says giving me a secretive smile, but that’s true. I usually like to pride myself on observing people, but I can never quite pinpoint where Akaashi’s thoughts lead him. Which is probably why I feel uneasy for no reason. 

“You know Semi,” His tone is very matter-of-fact as we walk into the restroom. Like he already has everything figured out. Like whatever he says after that moment he knows the end result. It sets me on edge the same way it did earlier before he got interrupted. 

“I already told Ushijima how attractive you are.“ That was obviously not what I expected, and I pour more soap than necessary onto my hands. “He’s not an insanely jealous person though, so there was really no use in telling him at all.” I feel his eyes trained on my back as I wash my hands. 

“Is that so?” My voice is surprisingly steady after hearing the confession. I finally decide to turn the water off and dry my hands before turning to face him. 

“Even when I told him everything I’d do to you. He acted so nonchalant, it’s amusing. But you didn’t see the look he gave me when I touched you.” He’s almost a head taller than me when he pushes off the wall and stands in front of me. It’s intimidating. 

“So what’s the point of you telling me all of this? For your amusement?” 

“Of course not Semi, so defensive. Ushijima was right. In all seriousness though,” a contemplative look crosses his face before he continues. Long slender fingers sliding across his bottom lip, “He was too nervous to ask you, but to put it simply I want you Semi.” 

The silence that follows after is a tense one, well only on my part is it tense. For a second I really wonder if I did hear him correctly. _He_ wanted _me._ Just how many beautiful people did I make happy in my past life? First Ushijima, now _Akaashi._ I wish I had been a fly in the wall for that blunt conversation. 

“You don’t have to answer right away Semi, that’s fine. I just wanted to let you know. I’ve already talked it over with Ushijima and Bokuto.” He comes up to me and slides his hand on my arm. Just how many times did I picture those slender hands against me? 

“Yes. I mean I want you too, I’m flattered Akaashi. Really.” I feel a blush break out across my face as I splutter out my response. It feels like it heats my whole body up. The harness around my shirt suddenly feels too tight. 

“You’re pretty when you blush,” his slender finger brushes across my face as the door opens. Shirabu jumps slightly when he sees us and his eyes widen when he glances down to see Akaashi’s grip on me. It’s a very intimate way to catch two people who are most definitely not together, a finger frozen against my cheek. His hand still grasping my arm, but I smirk at Shirabu nonetheless. If you do it you have to do it right. And we slide past him to walk back to the table. 

“Shirabu seems to not like you.” Akaashi so thoughtfully points out. 

“Yeah. Ushijima and I came here once and he expressed his dislike for me then. I wasn’t too welcoming either.” I say remembering back. It seems like ages ago since that date, our first date. I almost can’t believe how much time has passed by. 

“I know it was a shock by what I told you, but I do mean it. You have a great personality and you’re really very attractive. I hope this doesn’t alter your relationship with Ushijima.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you Akaashi, but it won’t.” I reassure him. “I’m sure if you already talked with Ushijima he has no problem with it, it is my body after all. And besides,” we make it around the corner just as we see everyone standing up. I lean in closer to his ear since we’re around company now, “who would deny a beautiful man like you.” 

I give Akaashi a small smile when I see a slight blush form on his face. He really is beautiful. And I make my way to Ushijima. 

“Akaaaaashi, I missed you why did you take so long!” Bokuto shouts nuzzling into his neck when Akaashi settles at his side. 

“Yeah Semi, why’d you take so long?” Tendou mocks. Little red pupils staring into my soul. I choose to ignore his gaze, but I pat his shoulder as I pass him. Ushijima stands up and wraps his arm around my waist. 

“You ready to go?” 

For a second I don’t respond. Too busy caught up in those beautiful eyes. I realize I still get the same fluttery feeling that I once did even before we went on our first date, and I wonder if it’ll ever fade away, but I doubt that. He could be asking me if I was ready to walk to the center of the universe with him. If I was ready for him to debase me, and that still wouldn’t have stopped me from saying yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of these days I’ll learn how to make a proper ending. Until then(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)


	19. Serendipity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Semi reads late night poetry to Ushi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AWH MANJDDIKJHH. You guys I almost procrastinated with this chapter but it kept nagging me. I’m sososososo sad that I’m ending this!!!!!!!!! This whole story is my baby even though I’ve had a love/hate relationship with it the whole time. I feel like I’ve come a long way though. THANK YOU SO MUVH FOR THE SUPPORT LIKE REALLY REAL TEARS YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m ending it off there because I’m being emotional. My work here is done. (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

We had been sitting in the dark for about an hour now. Moonlight filtering through the curtains outlining the silhouette that’s nestled in my lap. My fingers running through Ushijima’s hair. If I closed my eyes now it would feel as if the world stopped moving. Like we are the only two who exist. It could have been hours that have passed by us since we got to his home, I’m sure it’s only been half an hour though. He shuffles a little and I look down to see him staring up at me. Those olive greens still have a way with making me flush. 

“Read to me Semi?” His question lingers around us. The rumble seeming to shake the quiet home. 

“If that’s what you want then I will.” I pat his head a little and he moves out the way. He turns on the little lamp next to the couch and I make my way to get the book I got for him off of the table. 

“Or do you want me to read the little collection your friends got you?” He scrunches his face up and I hold in my laughter on the way back. 

“I’m going to have to burn those one of these days.”

“Ah you don’t mean that. They taught you a lot hmm?” He settles his head back into my lap when I fall onto the couch. 

“You’re not funny Semi.” So he says, but I see the hint of a smile playing on his lips. 

“Yeah yeah. So you’re not gonna fall asleep on me if I read this to you?” His eyes close as I brush my fingers through his hair. 

“I won’t.” He catches my hand and pulls it to his mouth and plants a kiss on my palm. 

My heart flutters because of that, but I choose to open the book instead. The pages fly open and the words dance before it lands on a specific poem. I would have thought the book could read my mind when I saw the title appear. I let out a soft smile and clear my throat before I start reading. I could have closed my eyes and recited each line word for word. I doubt it would have impressed Ushijima, that’s a lie. I know it would have. 

_”And I have known the eyes already, known them all-“_

His fingers swipe across the back of my hand and my flow of words falter slightly. If I looked down I know exactly what I would see. Eyes shining with amusement, that mischievous smile on his face. I ignore it and keep on with the poem. 

I was in high school when I first read this poem. It was memorable. Something that made me completely lost when I finished it. I remember feeling confused and conflicted, but I read it again word for word. I read it everyday until I gave meaning to the poem myself. It was one that I never forgot. I have forgotten many readings as I got older, but this is one that I’m sure I’d never forget. I still get goosebumps reading the climax. My voice still carries the same confidence it does when I used to recite it out loud when I was alone in my room, or when I would read to Oikawa and Tendou. It was the same feeling reading it to myself or reading it to them. They always looked at me with pride, especially when I first recited it without a book. Without those tiny words looking back at me. 

Sitting here with Ushijima, reading these words that have always gave me comfort I feel a nagging feeling. I feel a strange sense of something settling in the pit of my stomach. Like after I finish the poem he won’t like it, he won’t share the same love for it that I did. Lev was like that, and I guess my infatuation with him made me blind to that fact. That’s probably why he left the books when he decided to go. The last of the poem leaves my lips. I can still hear the words in the air around us if I listen close enough. 

“ _Until human voices wake us and we drown._ That was a beautiful poem Semi.” I pull the book down and look into his eyes. They’re as sincere as ever. 

“It is isn’t it?” I can hear the pride in my own voice. As if I was the one wrote it myself. 

“What’s it called?” 

“ _The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock._ ”

“Interesting..” He nods his head a little. His fingers playing with the threads on my jeans. 

I wonder why we haven’t changed yet, this damn harness is too tight, but I don’t dare get up. Not with such an intimate moment. We have many moments like this to ourselves, but this is the first time I’ve ever read to him. It feels strangely domestic. Even more so than when I wake up in his arms, or when we wash dishes together. This feels like exchanging secrets. Like I’m passing my love for poetry onto him with each word. 

“You can continue reading. Your voice is very soothing.” He mentions, snapping me out of my revere. I turn the page and begin reading- _Portrait of a Lady,_ I tell him before I start. And so we sit there, his hand still sliding about on my leg. Every so often he’ll caress the back of my hand that’s steadily holding the book. 

“Do you write poetry?” He asks me after I’ve finished. 

“I do, yes.” I had a fleeting thought to deny it, but not when he looks at me like that. 

“You should let me read some.” His eyes alight, and he looks so rapt, so curious. Like even if it’s mediocre he’d still give me praise. 

“I think I just might. Although I’m no T.S Eliot or Sylvia Plath. My words fall short compared to them.”

“You think I care about that?” He gets up from his spot. I try to hold in my shiver, not only from the loss of his warm head on my lap, but also from his intense stare. My mouth snaps shut and I hold the book tighter. 

“Eita..I-“ he cuts himself off and glances behind me before he looks back at me. Eyes searching, for what I don’t know. I feel my heartbeat picking up, the change in conversation making my palms sweat. 

“Eita, I love you.” I say steadier than what I feel. His eyes widen and he blinks owlishly at me. _Shit why did I say that?_ I bring my hand up and scratch the back of my head. 

“You don’t have to say it back obviously,” I start rambling, “I just...I just wanted you to know how I felt.” 

He still sits there. Mouth tightly sealed. If I was at his house I would’ve left, I probably would have ran out without even giving an explanation. I can’t possibly kick him out. Why did I have to go saying that. I’ve never told anyone I loved them before. Do I really even love him? _Ah shit-_

“Me too. I mean,” his voice is so small. He’s looking down at his pants instead of me and I’m almost certain I imagined it until I hear him repeat those words. “I love you too.” 

I feel my chest tighten. Maybe this is how I die. Little sniffles snap me out of my thoughts and I focus on Semi in front of me. His shoulders are shaking slightly, and I see a tear fall from his eye. 

“Semi..” I grab ahold of his hand, setting the book on the coffee table and pull him into me. “Are you okay baby?” His hair tickles my chin when he nods, fingers tightening in my shirt. 

“I’m more than fine Wakatoshi.” He muffles against my shirt. I bring my hands around his waist to hug him closer, nuzzling into the top of his head. His hair smells like plum blossoms. A very distinct smell that I could pinpoint in my sleep. This moment feels too surreal. 

“I’m sorry, I’m being so sappy. I’m truly happy, honestly.” He brings his head up and unlatches his hand to wipe his tears away before grasping back on like he’s afraid this moment might end. He’s beautiful either way, but with his eyes shinning like that. Like what I just told him meant the world to him, I know for a fact this is Love. It’s probably surpassed love, what I feel for him. And it scares me. 

“I never thought I would be with someone again, yet alone fall in love.” He admits. 

“I never thought I’d fall in love, but here we are.” 

“Yeah. Here we are,” Voice husky. His eyes slide down to my lips. I run my fingers up to the back of his neck as he leans up sealing them over mine. 

It’s not rushed in any way, as if we have all the time in the world, and we do. His tongue swipes across my bottom lip and I open for him. It’s almost too much, all of the emotion this one kiss holds. Semi’s hands holding tighter onto my shirt pulling me closer to him as our tongues continue to melt together. Molding and shifting until his familiar weight is settling against mine, a soft gasp falling into my mouth. A salty taste fills my tongue and I don’t have to open my eyes to know it’s his tears. 

I’d take anything Semi has to give me and if it’s his tears, I’ll accept it like an offering. My hand falls to his waist as he begins to pepper light kisses across my lips, my jaw, my cheek. I relish it all, feeling his feather light kisses. Our breathing mingles together as he rests his forehead against mine. We stay like that for who knows how long. I feel like the weight of the universe is resting here on my lap. Our moment of love sealed together with a kiss that I’ll cherish for a lifetime. 

“I can’t believe you fell in love with me.” He throws his head back and laughs, and I’m speechless for the first time in my life. 

He truly laughs as if this moment is a revelation for him, and I don’t doubt that in the least. Everything that he’s went through in his past relationship was a serious pressure on my shoulders. Had I been a weaker man I wouldn’t have carried on, but this was my destiny. You could say serendipity played a part in our meeting. Walking into a bookstore was all it took for my life to change, for our life to change. I feel a strange pride fill my veins when he looks back down at me. Wiping his tears away from his eyes after his hearty laugh. There’s a different gleam in his eyes, one that I can only wish I’ll always be able to keep there. 

“I couldn’t have fallen in love with anybody else even if I tried Eita.” 

His smile is almost blinding, and he smashes his lips to mine. We sealed ourselves together in more ways than one. Swallowing every moan and plea that fell from those lips that night. 

“Mine Eita. You won’t ever belong to anyone else.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah man I came back to this just to let you guys know,,,,,I named this chapter the same as chapter 5(?) because I feel like that’s initially when these beauties fell for each other. And with that ending note, I’m going to get unbearably drunk tonight and wallow in my tears hahahahha


End file.
